Trisha Trixie Hunter

Trisha Trixie Hunter: Click "Collect Me" to help me win $10,000 and a show in the most immense exhibition of art in New York City : Art Takes Times Square.

Gravity

Gravity (3:54)

Sara Bareilles 

I love this song. It touches my heart. This is how I feel. Pulled down by Gravity by HIM. The idea of HIM. The Idea of US. The idea of what we "could have been"...

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

[CHORUS:]
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

[CHORUS]

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long. 

(lyrics)

 I am moving forward now against this feeling of Gravity...I feel like I am pulling a tug of war with my heart. I don't want to move on, but I do. I don't want to love him anymore, but I do. I don't want to give him anymore of my heart, but he still is holding it without touching it. I am letting go of the idea of him and taking someone else's hand who has been patient and kind and been waiting for me...I am scared out of my gourd to take this chance, yet I am taking it. 

 I could play the "What If" game forever...What if it doesn't work out...what if he breaks my heart too...what if he finds someone else...what if I find someone else...what if it turns out amazing? All of it scares me. The good and the bad. But I have to conquer this feeling of being rejected, dejected and thrown away.

I do not desire to be paralyzed by fear anymore. Only "I" can take myself out of holding pattern with my heart. Only me can let go. He let go already. He dropped my hand and took hold of her stretched out hand. I am trying to be happy for him. I am trying to let go.

Now, someone is stretching out their hand to me. AS much as this GRAVITY is pulling me, I need to fight it and take a chance on love. I need to stop dipping my toe in the water and take a plunge on this chance.

Here goes...Trisha off the high dive of love...hope I have a good landing ...

 XOXO

Trisha Trixie

.

The Despisition of Marriage

I was walking through the store the other day and ended up in the wedding aisle and promptly walked to another aisle.

I watch TV and the commercials about weddings nauseate me.

I see ads in my magazines about Wedding Rings and the perfect Wedding Vacation and I rip them out and throw them away.

I hear commercials or ads about marriage, rings, anything married related and I immediately change the channel.

I didn't notice I was even doing this until someone else brought it to my attention and I stopped and looked over at them and said

"You know, I remember a time a few years ago when the ex and I were sitting at a work function and I nearly lost it because someone asked when we were getting married. I hated hearing about stuff then and we felt like it was a curse upon us to have to hear those things because I wanted it SO very bad and he kept saying he didn't know or wasn't ready or I had to PROVE myself to him and I just couldn't take it, after FOUR YEARS I couldn't take it anymore!! I thought, wow I really hate Wedding and Marriage stuff and that was then...but now..it's even worse...because of all this...I don't just not like it, I don't just hate it in the smallest regard...

I despise it." 

Then I felt a tear roll down my cheek and it took all my might not to burst into tears in the middle of the store. My friend said "Aww, I know I am sorry" and tried to sideways hug me. 

I don't trust men anymore

I am back to that frame of thinking when I was 20sih. Men only want sex from me. Men cannot be trusted. Men will lie to me to get what they want. Men will keep their feelings from me , so they can keep me  around until they are done with me. Men are not willing to fight for me. Men are scum. The good guys are too meek to step up to the plate to enjoy me. Strong men are too much of an asshole to be kind to me. Men in the middle don't know what the hell they want and are wishy washy. Old men want someone to care for them. Young men want a milf or sex. Those in the middle end up dancing around because they either have kids and want help raiing them or want kids in their future or just don't know and I don't want to stick around for four more years to find out.

I am in a crux. I do want marriage. But now I feel scared, vulnerable and frustrated. The "It's not fair" theory still exists in my head. It's not. I gave four years to someone who showed me every sign two years ago that though I was amazing and great and etc I wasn't the one he wanted. That stings and I can still feel it.

I don't feel the victim or target, I just feel fear. Yep you heard me. Fear. I know for someone who takes risks, who is fearless, who is strong and tough and courageous, how in the hell can I feel Fear? Well, let me tell you...

I am scared to hurt someone else and I am scared to be hurt again

I don't want to keep someone on a string. I don't want to be on a string while someone tried to figure out if it is ME that they want. I don't' want to put someone else there either. It sucks. I hate that feeling. I don't want to be the one to inflict that kind of pain on anyone. I don't like feeling that kind of pain. I want to be dating again and I am working on getting back out there, but I take steps now with tiny feet not big leaps.

I want to be proposed in a  real fashion like I should. My first husband and I ended up pregnant, I had my kid, then we decided "Hey maybe we should get married to shut the parents up, so we did. No proposal. My second husband took me to the Ritz Carlton to give me a promise ring which I thought was more then he wishy washy like said ok it's an engagement ring. Again no proposal. I want a ring to come floating on a string to my hand, or in a balloon, or it presented even simply to me with a man kneeling down on one knee and saying "Trisha Hunter, will you marry me?"

I more than anything than that though want a guy to want me for me, all of me flaws and all and know he has a great catch and is lucky to have me and would never DREAM of letting me go and he would fight for me to the death if he had to!!

Yes I despise marriage for now...but one day I will believe in it again...when I don't know...but if I didn't hate it before...I certainly DO now...sigh..

Wishcasting Wednesday: Where do you wish to GO?

It's Wish casting Wednesday through Jaime Ridler Studios time again. I saw Jaime was going to be away for awhile (I guess she is going where she wishes to go right?)  and since she will be out for awhile I most definitely wanted to do my Wishcasting Casting and get and give love from and to all my fellow Wishcasters.

So the question of the day is

"Where Do you Wish to Go?"

I wish to go where my heart desires.
I wish to go in the air and SOAR and fly like an eagle.
I wish to go fly in the sky like a bird, any bird just fly fly away.
I wish to go Ziplining.
I wish to go Trapeze Jumping.
I wish to go Rock Climbing.

I think my theme here is that I want to be in the air or up high somehow...funny.

I of course have a bucket list of places I wish to go like others do , but I traveled a lot with my ex and so there aren't too many places left I really care about.

As far as places:
I wish to go BACK to New York, Paris, and Switzerland.
I wish to go TO Corpus Christi, Texas, Florida, Alaska and maybe Hawaii (I don't know I feel it is ruined now because the ex is diminishing it for me...blog for another day perhaps)

and who knows...maybe maybe maybe Greece. Now I want to go there more than anything.(for personal reasons)

I wish to go to a Meadow. A huge large monstrous meadow. I wish to run it with my long blonde hair flowing in the breeze and being able to pick flowers and make a bouquet with a ribbon around it.

I DON'T want to go: Back in time, back to the future, back anywhere. I lived my life, I have had my life, it happened, life, pain, hurt, heartbreak, love, happiness, etc. Good or bad, it happened. It is in the past and I wish to leave it there and not GO there. No looking back, no regrets, my past is what made me who I am.

I wish to Go forward, onward, straight ahead...first star to the right and straight on til morning!

Love, Hugs and Kisses,
Trisha Trixie

Amazing Things Happening Here in TrishaTrixie Land

Wow, where do I begin. So many amazing things have been happening that I actually don't know where to start. So let me start by saying, How wonderful it is when one sees their dreams, goes for it and achieves them. I feel so empowered and I feel like I can do anything, take on anything and conquer the world!!

A few weeks ago I started an amazing new course called The Bad Ass Broad by Stephanie St. Claire from Blissbombed.com. Even before I started I began gearing up for it. I made a Bad Ass Collage Board, I made a Playlist called Stronger  that helps me feel strong and pumped up, and I told my mind "Get in gear baby, because a bigger badder stronger you is going to come out of this class!" One of the main focuses Stephanie talks about is things we say YES to and I want to share with you these great things in my life. Yes to being a BAB and Yes to Stephanie and Yes to Blissbombed!

I also was doing SOAR (though I have slacked a bit with other things going on) but this has helped me to remember to Stretch Out and Risk. I learned how to shoot guns, walk dogs and do so many things I wanted to do while in Colorado when I got away for a bit. Yes!

I began getting my brain back on track to live MY life for me and do the things I want to do. I am a risker and a leaper. I am fearless and brave and courageous. I had a melt down a few months ago in my life and I allowed it to effect me. But now, I am back on top, swinging and popping and taking leaps again...even bigger leaps I never would have taken. Yes!

That's how all these amazing things started happening!! Yes yes yes!

I reached out to the Des Moines Art Center as soon as I heard there was a show that they were looking for Original art to sell for their Art Crazy Fundraiser! I have wanted my art in a Gallery for some time and I want it to sell. Since this meets both of those Amazing things I offered and they accepted. This Saturday I turn in my work and the Party will be April 26th. I can't wait to watch others looking and buying my art!!YES!

When in Colorado I started a Body Sculpting course. When I came back I searched over and over for these things so I could stay fit. I tried a JAzzercise but it didn't quite fit. I ended up getting a Zumba workout for my Wii and fell in love! I also converted the basement to a mini gym and art studio mix so I can have my own level of enjoyment. There is a new Treadmill there and I moved the Training bike down there as well. Fun fun work out and creating in one...Lots of Energy! YES!

Two days ago I met with a friend I have a Join Venture with at Life Coach Iowa. He and I set up regular weekly time to have Accountability Sessions!  It is like having a work out buddy for your life and brain! Now we each have an Accountability Partner...each other! Yes!

On top of that he asked me to be his first Guest Author and I just wrote my first post on his site! Life Coach Iowa Blog! YES!

A way I love to love people is to give to them. I love giving. I love giving of my thoughts, my energy and my time if I have it. I know what I send out comes back to me, so I know in one way or the other the universe will repay so they don't have to.

One of the things I try to give away of my time is time for my friend's little girl C. She is almost 3 years old but is smart as a whip like a 5 year old. Girl after my own heart and style! YES! Betsy, her mom is a Licensed and practicing HypKnowTherapist and does these amazing HypKnowTherapy sessions. Recently she has needed someone to watch C so she can finish up w a Weight Loss Group Session and a  few other clients. I love spending time with C and since I came back in town, I didn't mind helping out.In fact I wanted to and cherish the time with this sweet little girl. YES!

One Betsy thanked me the other day by buying a Ghiardelli Chocolate and Caramel Big bar! YES! Now before you crack up laughing at how excited I am about this, understand that I get migraines so I don't ALLOW myself to have much chocolate, as well I love caramel. I hugged it to my chest and said thank you emphatically! Yes! Then to top it off, for helping now and then I was GIVEN a session to relax me and "Release Negative Relationships". No names were used so it was associated with anyone, and my subconscious will do the filtering. The session went great and I was out ina matter of minutes, which means my subconcious did all the work to listen! YES YES!

I also started dating again and enjoying the company of men after not dating for "4 months"! I am on a few online sites and wouldn't normally go that route. But from someone who used to OWN a dating website I know there may be creeps but there actually are some pretty decent guys out there. Just being able to talk to men, even online was a challenge at first, but little by little my courage was up. When out one night I asked a guy to call me and he did though he was taken he said he felt honored. It made me feel good to know that he was respectable enough to call and say thanks for the thought. Last week I went on my first date since the DRAMA and it was a fun group date I really liked and I ended up meeting someone else in the process. His attentions on me lately have been helping and encouraging allowing me the freedom to get to know other men and see them for their good qualities.  YES!

Lastly, I have my own business and I do my own thing most of the time, but sometimes to fill a financial gap or work with people and get some "adult" time, I take on new contracts to go work as a Freelancer for a company. Yep, you guessed it! I got a new contract for the next 6 months. YES YES!

My world is filling up with YESES!! I love it!! Things are flowing and moving and growing here in TrishaTrixieLand and I am loving every bit of it. I an owning my power again! Yes! I am risking and branching out! Yes! I am doing things I love and learning new things to see if I love them or not! Yes!

I feel so empowered and feel like I could pow pow my way through anything! Thanks for reading about all my great, amazing and wonderful things!! More great news to follow I'm sure.

Hugs and Air kisses, Muah!

Trisha Trixie

I Believe in You

This was also a Guest Post for my Dear Friend David Long at Life Coach Iowa. Dvid is my Accountability Partner and we meet weekly to hold each other Accountable for our goals and dreams and things we are doing in our life...He has me to be his first Guest Author and I was quite honored to do so. Go to Life Coach Iowa HERE


Don't those words sound great when someone says that to you?

Have you ever wanted someone to say that to you?

This song by Il Divo has always touched my heart and I want to share it with you. I shared it before and on another Blog Titled Believe-Click HERE to go to related post





I said it before and I will say it again:

I truly feel that all it takes for us to move forward in life is for someone to Believe in Us. I feel that that truly helps us Believe in Ourselves.

One of my Favorite movies is Pretty in Pink for MANY reasons but mostly how true to form it is and in this one part  at about 2:30 minutes Blaine says to Andy,

"You said you couldn't believe in anyone who didn't believe in you...I believed in you...you just didn't believe in me."

For Clip Click Here and scroll to the 2:30 minute mark.

When in High School, I was forlorn and had nothing. Along came my friend E who said to me "I believe in you" and it changed me. I started believing in myself.

When I decided to stop working full time and create my own corporation, another good friend said "I believe you can do it" and I did.

When I decided after a 10 year marriage to divorce and go out on my own, someone else was there to say "You're strong, you can do it, I believe in you" and I did.

When my businesses had to go through a name change because of Trademark Infringement, my peers said " This is nothing, look at all you have done. You will create a new brand and a new name for yourself. I believe you can do it and I believe you will succeed." and I have...

Last year when I decided to launch a new Fashion Community, despite the odds and the trials, despite the reasons why I should not, an amazing Peer said to me, "I have faith in you, I believe you can do it" and I did.

And two months ago when I said to a friend, "I think I want to create a whole new kind of website, something collaborative, and sell E books and do E courses he said very sweetly and simply with a touch of a smile. 

"I Believe in You"

I never realized how much I have heard those words and how much they have helped me succeed and encouraged me to go on and keep leaping and keep trying and keep risking...until now. Have you ever heard those words? Perhaps you have never SAID those words... Maybe it is like a friend...to have a friend you have to be a friend...perhaps to have someone there to Believe in you...you might need to start believing in others.

You really can do anything you set your mind to do. It may not be easy. It may be wrought with trials and difficulties and many roadblocks...but the choice is yours to stop or keep going. It is up to you to also believe in yourself. Believe you can do it. Believe you will achieve your dreams.Believe in your potential.Believe that you can reach the sky, touch the rainbow, whatever it isyou set your heart on. The only one standing in your way is yourself. Believe...You can do it.

I want to leave some words with, that I want you to allow to resonate in your soul, that from this point on you can NEVER say no one else has ever said those words to me Trisha...well, tha'ts not true...

Because I want you to know....

 "I Believe in You"