Third Wedding Attendance Issues

"I am unable to make it to your wedding. It's not like I haven't seen you get married, I mean I went to your OTHER wedding."

SO, SO, SOOOOOOOOOOOO, tired of hearing this.

I mean, I get it, life happens, you can't afford the fare, or your are having health issues, I understand I do, but then let that be the end of it. Don't add those words. 

Telling ANY bride who has been married before, "Well, I was at your first wedding" is like fighting words. It's like a slap in the face. It's like, saying "I don't want to eat dinner because I had breakfast" Or "Aren't the memories of me being at that one good enough for you? " 

Um, no. I mean, do you want to splice you into the pictures? Do you want me to splice in the memories too? 

I looked it up and found this site that talks a little bit about going or not going to someone's wedding for the third time. http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf24672949.tip.html#feedback 

I asked today on #WeddingWire about it and am waiting a response for advice.

I get that people went to the first one but this one is not the same. I want memories of you at THIS wedding. I want you there because you are important to me. If you weren't , I would NOT have invited you. It is already a small number of invites under 40 persons now. It's not like I invited two hundred to a third wedding. You were chosen as a part of the select few with whom I asked to be tehre with us in our small circle of family and friends. Can't you see how that tells you what an important part of my life you are? I mean, it is not like I willy nilly just invited everyone in my address book. No I asked you and 39 other CLOSE people in my life.

All in all, I will be ok with it. The day will come and go and I will have fun no matter what.

Mostly, I am trying to figure out, how do I tell people to STOP FREAKIN SAYING THAT because it is upsetting and hurts my feelings and to me, really should not be said nor have any bearing and your attendance or not. 

The ONLY time is could be said is if you are NOT gong BECAUSE it is my third wedding and if that is the case, I guess I don't want you there anyway if that is how you feel.

Though, I really do think, people are unable to go for valid reason, which then, Please don't say that to me and NEVER say that to a bride as it IS quite hurtful.

Until next time,

XoXo Trisha Trixie

The One You Keep Trying to Forget

As I sit watching Gilmore Girls and it was the breakup scene. Loralei visits an ex and goes on this rant about all these random things then comes around to the fact that she couldn't tell Rory about how long it took to get over him because she isn't over him. 

This brings me to my thoughts. ..He's still the one I can't get over. Despite my current situation, despite past ex husbands , and boyfriends, him..he's the one I can't get over.

I think there's always that one. No matter how long or whatever you have been through, he's the one you still think about. We all have that one person that we will always still think about,is all I'm saying.

We tried to be friends. Nope.

I finally said I'm done,trying, to be something we said no to a long time ago. So the emails stopped.And I thought that was it.

Ha if only I we're so lucky.

No, I'm a sap. Like all those other saps. Like those saps you read about our see in movies. Yep, that's me.

I'll be fine, going about my business,then,something will happen...a show will make me think about it, or I'll pass by a picture he drew or like today, as I was posting to Google ,I saw that I was still following him I guess. There  was his picture. Him. That man. With that smile. In that hat. Looking there.

Ugh.

Why are there those people that do that to you.?!?

Le sigh...

Time to go back to reading Stephanie  St.Claire and Brave Girls and things that remind me that is ok and it will be ok and everything will be fine and is fine.

Positive messages.
Mantras.
Mandalas.
Healing art.
And so on...
..and on...

Because you realize, there is nothing you can do and no matter what you do, you just have to face up to the fact that hes the one you haven't gotten over and you may never get over, and the fact that it is true does, in no way dimiinish the way you feel about the special someone in your life now or ever will because one thing is not the same as the other, it just it's so , and that's the facts!

But yet still,  though you do all those things, you just have to resign yourself to that acknowledgement and be ok with it, no matter what,  because no matter what, no matter what you do,  no matter what you say, or how many books you read, or blogs you write or what you draw or songs you sing or Mandalas you color, the facts are still the facts...

He's  the one you never got over and he will always be the...

The One You Keep Trying  to  Forget

So Alone

Most people see my life as go go and busy busy with people all around me. However, I find myself feeling so alone and wishing I had someone to share those moments with again and lately I have been feeling depressed and wondering " What happened?"

I was lying in my Physical Therapy this morning and got to wondering that question.

When my ex boyfriend J  hurt himself I drove him and picked him up and took him to every PT appt he had and needed. I took him to doctors appts and therapy appts and well, EVERYWHERE!! However, there I lie, alone, staring at the floor. 

I have asked my fiancee to go with me and he says he can't. I know he is hard working and such, but this is important to me. I even asked him to take off when I got my Sacroiliac Injections and he he said, no. 

Thus now where the "What happened" comes into play. What happened to the guy who used to go to everything with me. What happened to the guy who just wanted to be in my presence? What happened to the guy who wanted to do things with me, hang around me and to be my buddy and who couldn't' wait to be around me? What happened? Where did THAT guy go?

I am not saying we are not a great couple and he is not great and wonderful because he is. He works hard and tries hard and so on and so forth. 

But recently I have felt 

• like he doesn't believe me
• doesn't support my business anymore
• doesn't want me to do anything
• feels overworked already

When I wanted to go to the Bridal show recently I was lucky enough that my pal Jen G wanted to go with me. She has been engaged forever. The last one Iw ent to no one wanted to go however and that sucked.

My Opening night for my Apron Exhibit was very important to me and I had to beg my fiancee to show up and then only a scattered few showed up for that. I was very hurt that more people didn't come out. I feel like um seriously, where are all you people?

Maybe I am deluding myself but I DO think I am gonna make it big. HUGE. I sit here and think, "when I make it, you all will be clamoring to spend time with me and then I will have all these OTHER people wanting to spend time with me. The sad thing is, THOSE people will be the FAKE people. Is it better to have the fake people then NO people around at all?

Something else I don't get...

When I lived in Cali I was SUPER freakin busy as was my pals at church, my neighbors and people at work, yet somehow we had time for BBQ's, Sunday dinners, hanging out at the beach, parties and helping each other out. I knew my neighbors and those people became my friends. Now I hate my neighbors and can't wait to move.

Again, thought process of, "Perhaps I am deluding myself" but I feel like that was because I lived in a metro area and here I live in a smaller city" Des Moines is not SMALL per say but I feel like I have tapped my resources, exhausted my contacts, burnt my bridges and am just spent.

I am ready for a move. a change. I want a new life. a new place. New opportunities. New places to explore. new people to meet and a new chance at things.

Maybe then I wouldn't feel so alone.

While the Cat's Away...What do you REALLY do?

This week my hunney pants is away on biz. It is funny how I think, "Oh if I were single again I would go and go all these things and eat all this food and hang out with my friends more and on and on...."

Then I have two nights to myself.

Night/ Day one - I mowed all the yard (which is a lot) ended up with a migraine. Felt a bit better, made the mistake of going to the Johnston Farmers Market with my pal Melissa and her three kids. Then over to her house for dinner. Let's just say, as an over 40 year old and someone with Sensory Overload Syndrome, that was NOT the wisest choice.

I love her and her kids, but I was not used to the constant pull and chatter of three children talking over me, yelling at parents, yelling at each other and so forth. That with the heat, the overexertion I did earlier and the day and food I am not used to, it did not sit well with me. We were looking through her clothes of the kids to give me for me to re purpose and I felt very nauseous so I left. Talking myself out of barfing on the ride home i my new car, my new car Fiona Fiat thanked me.

Second night/ Day - During the day I ran a few errands, mixed a thing I was supposed to go to, and then came home and watcvhed Lost on Netflix, had a drink, at Schwans Bomb Popsicle for dinner and a handful of Cracker Chips from Special K, and enjoyed a relaxing night to myself.

I finished the night, talking with my hunney pants on the phone about his day and mine just like we always do. So the funny thing I told him, "Ya know it's funny how I always think and say I am gonna do ALL these things when you are away, but then I rarely do. I guess I am just a creature of habit or something. Perhaps just happy."

and he says to me, "Well, there is no use going to look for the cow when you are get the milk delivered to your door!!"

Oh hunney pants...

Until next time,

Xoxo Trisha Trixie

Make a Choice for Happiness: Negativity BE GONE!

Lately I have noticed how negative things are Facebook. I scoured around Google Plus and other Social Media to see if I was seeing the same results. Funny thing, I did NOT. It seems that only on Facebook was I seeing hostility, anger, frustration and So so much negativity.

I am tired of seeing sick dogs, sick babies, fires, crashes, divorce, political comments, bitching, whining, moaning ,and you name it on the negative line. Maybe people think taking a Facebook break is being an ostrich and sticking my head in the sand, but if I don't watch the regular news, why oh why would I want to relive it all on FB? I don't.

What happened to all the happy people? where are the positive posts? What about "promoting what you love instead of bashing what you hate?"

Where did all the happy people go?

I realize we live in 2014 and things aren't what they told us it would be. I realize people have heartache, despair, anger, anguish and more. I know people want to help those afflicted, hurt, pained, and so on.

I also realize, it is a choice.

For those who know me I have had my fair share of SHIT happen to me, around me, and about me.  I could just as easily be a negative person, being the bitching type.  However, I choose to be uplifting and positive. I wish to wake with a smile on my face. I wish to smile at others and do good deeds. I wish to live my passion instead of working for another. I make positive choices daily, hourly and even minute by minute.

It is not that life does not happen to me, because oh hell yeah it does. I ge shit on more than anyone I know. That's how it seems to go with positive nice people. To others they are viewed as doormats. Not to all, but some.

When those things happen, I make a choice.

Sometimes it is to let it roll off my back and develop a thick skin about it.

Sometimes, I give it the time needed to allow it to affect me, learn from it, then move on.

Sometimes, I acknowledge it for awhile.

Though in the end, I move PAST it.

Misery loves company. You want others to feel your pain. You want to know someone understands you, gets you, has been there before.

But how about putting a Positive twist on it. It is ok to share your life, but why dwell on it? What does dwelling do? Nothing.

Negativity only allows more negativity and that also can affect your health, your life and your relationships.

Because of the negativity I have seen on Facebook I have tried other options.

I have been posting on my Gratitude a Day page and ms Courage. I have focused on other areas of FB and not looked at my feed. But even with that, I still keep seeing negativity on pages and groups.

Years ago, there was NO Facebook. and you know what....??? We all survived. We managed to stay in contact. We managed to share with each other and connect and even sign onto places without using FB info.

So I'm taking a Fb break. I am being super selective with what things I look at and who I interact with and am taking a break.

No more jumping onto Fb first thing in the morning.

I am making a choice.

Make a choice for happiness.

I am, will you?

Until next time,
Xoxo Trisha Trixie

Wedding Thoughts: Registries

In planning my upcoming wedding there are a few things that to this day astounds me.One of which is Gift Registries. In the day and age that we live in, it amazes me that people are still doing registries in this old archaic fashion. My man and I have lived together for a few years. We already have merged many of our belongings etc and tossed away a lot. I know many others who live this way too. Are there really people who still register for items like it is 1950? As a Vintage Model I am intrigued by this thought because, seriously, when I saw this list from Wedding Wire I burst out loud laughing and saying out loud "Who registers for all these items anymore?"

Look below to see the DAUNTING list I am referring to...then scroll past it to read the rest of my comments ...

Registry Checklist

Make sure your registry includes all of the things you need with the following list:

Bedroom
Dining Room
Kitchen
Bathroom
Home Accessories & Electronics
Cleaning Supplies
Luggage
Outdoors

Bedroom    Register for bedroom linen items per bedroom

 Accent pillows

 Bed Skirt/Dust Ruffle

 Blankets

 Comforter or duvet

 Duvet cover

 Euro shams

 Fitted sheets

 Flat Sheets

 Mattress pad

 Pillowcases (set of two)

 Pillows

 Quilt

 Standard shams

Dining Room

Formal China

 5-piece place settings (Dinner, salad, bread plates, teacup and saucer)

 Coffee pot

 Coordinating accent plates for salad or dessert

 Covered butter dish

 Covered casseroles

 Covered vegetable bowls

 Gravy boat

 Large vegetable bowls

 Pasta bowls

 Platters - large

 Platters - medium

 Platters - small

 Rimmed soup bowls

 Salt and pepper shakers

 Serving bowls

 Soup tureen and ladel

 Sugar and creamer set

Flatware

 5-piece place settings (Dinner and salad forks, tablespoon, teaspoons and knife)

 Butter knives

 Cake and pie server

 Gravy ladle

 Pierced spoons

 Salad servers

 Serving forks

 Serving spoons

 Silverware chest

 Sugar spoon

Crystal

 Iced beverage glasses

 Red wine glasses

 Water goblets

 White wine glasses

Barware

 Bar tool set

 Carafe

 Champagne flutes (or purchase one pair to us at your wedding)

 Coaster set

 Cocktail shaker

 Cordials

 Decanter

 Double old-fashioned glasses

 Highball glasses

 Ice bucket

 Ice tongs

 Margarita glasses

 Martini glasses

 Pilsner glasses

 Pitcher

 Punch bowl and cups

 Snifters

 Tumblers

Table Linens

 Cocktail napkins

 Dinner napkins

 Luncheon napkins

 Napkin rings

 Placemats

 Table pad

 Table runner

 Tablecloths

Kitchen

Everyday Dishes

 5-piece place settings (Dinner, salad, soup bowl, teacup and saucer)

 Covered butter dish

 Covered vegetable bowl

 Gravy boat

 Mugs

 Open vegetable bowl

 Rimmed soup bowls

 Salt and pepper shakers

 Serving bowls

 Serving platters - large

 Serving platters - medium

 Sugar and creamer set

Flatware

 5-piece place settings (Dinner and salad forks, tablespoon, teaspoon and knife)

 Hostess set

 Salad servers

 Serving fork

 Serving set

 Serving spoon

Glassware

 Juice glasses

 Pitcher

 Red wine glasses

 Water glasses

 White wine glasses

Cookware

 Cookware set with 10 to 14 pieces

 10” frying pan or skillet

 2-quart sauce pan with lid

 3-quart sauce pan with lid

 6-quart stock pot with lid

 Broiler pan

 Casserole dishes

 Covered saute pans

 Double boiler with lid

 Dutch oven

 Fondue set

 Grill/Griddle

 Lasagna pan

 Omelet pan

 Roasting pan

 Roasting rack

 Steamer basket

 Wok/stir fry pans

Cutlery

 Bread knife

 Carving set

 Chef’s knife

 Cleaver

 Kitchen shears

 Knife block

 Knife block set

 Paring knife

 Santoku knife

 Serrated knife

 Sharpening steel

 Steak knives

 Blender

 Bread maker

 Coffee bean grinder

 Coffee maker

 Crock pot

 Espresso machine

 Food processor

 Hand mixer

 Immersion blender

 Juicer

 Microwave

 Panini press

 Pasta Maker

 Rice cooker

 Slow cooker

 Stand mixer

 Toaster or toaster oven

 Waffle iron

 Electric Can Opener

Bakeware

 Baking sheet

 Bread pan

 Cake pan

 Ceramic bakeware set

 Cookie sheet

 Cooling rack

 Glass bakeware set

 Half-sheet pan

 Jelly-roll pan

 Loaf pan

 Measuring cups

 Measuring spoons

 Mixing bowl set

 Muffin tin

 Nonstick bakeware set

 Pie plates

 Quiche pan

 Rolling pin

 Tart pan

Kitchen Accessories

 Basting brushes

 Bottle opener

 Cabinet organizer

 Can opener

 Canister set

 Cheese grater

 Citrus zester

 Colander

 Cutting boards

 Drawer organizer

 Food-storage containers

 Garlic press

 Ice cream scoop

 Masher

 Meat tenderizer

 Peeler

 Pizza wheel

 Salad spinner

 Salt and pepper mill

 Spatula

 Spice rack

 Tea kettle

 Timer

 Tongs

 Trash can

 Trivet

 Whisk

Kitchen Linens

 Aprons

 Chair pads

 Dishtowels

 Kitchen mat

 Napkins

 Oven Mitts

 Pot holders

 Table pad

 Table runner

 Tablecloths

Bathroom    Register for bathroom items per bathroom

Bathroom Linens

 Bath mats

 Bath sheets

 Bath towels

 Hand towels

 Washcloths

Bathroom Accessories

 Bath rug

 Electric razor

 Electric toothbrush

 Hamper

 Magnifying mirror

 Massager

 Scale

 Shower Curtain, rings and liner

 Soap dish or dispenser

 Tissue holder

 Toothbrush holder

 Tub mat

 Waste basket

 Water glass

Home Accessories & Electronics

 Air purifier

 Alarm clocks

 Cake Plate

 Candlestick holders

 Centerpiece Bowl

 Chip and Dip Bowl

 Divided Serving Tray

 Drapery hardware

 DVD player

 Flatscreen TV

 Framed art

 Humidifier

 Picture Frames

 Throw blanket

 Tiered Server

 Vases

 Wall clocks

 Wall mirrors

 Window treatment

Cleaning Supplies

 Broom

 Garment cleaner

 Hand vacuum

 Iron

 Ironing Board

 Mop

 Steam cleaner

 Vacuum

Luggage

 Duffle bag

 Garment bag

 Rolling suitcase

Outdoors

 Barbecue grill

 Garden hose

 Gardening kit

 Grilling set

 Patio furniture set

 Snow shovel

I guess my man and I are just "New Wave" or "Futuristic " in thought about what would work for us...

We want to get an RV. With these new "CASH" registries, I think that might be a way to at least get some funds into the account to do so. Now, I know, I can hear you, CASH?? But that is SO< SO SO.....IMPERSONAL!! 

Is it any less impersonal than to buy a gift that isn't what the person wants? My man and I are trying to get RID of items in our home so we can move our belongings into an RV and live it in full time and travel and do what we want. I know compared to MOST RVers we are young. But there is a new generation of NOMAD RVers who ARE the age of us or younger and if they can do it, well why can't we.

This is a gift that would make us happy. A step to our dream. Living Free.

I would advise other couple not to allow the daunting nature of those registries to get to them. Register for what they want not what they THINK society wants them to register for.

Here are a few I am going through for us to consider

As well we decide that since we both have Kindles, use our computers, Like to buy things online, we chose Amazon for people to gift us Gift cards if they desire...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/registry.html/ref=br_ov?ie=UTF8&msg=how-others-see-list-info&type=wedding&visitor-view=1

But mostly we prefer cash to go towards our new life together!

http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-registry/cash-registry 

In the end, do what YOU want to do. Remember, it is YOUR special day...make it what you want it to be and thaty goes for registries too! 

Until Next time,

XoXo Trisha Trixie