What Love Really Means - Honestly and Truly

Years ago, many many, even when I was in High School. I begged the Lord to send someone who would TRULY love me for me. I cried many tears. My journal has many tear stained pages. Not for who I planned to be, who I wanted to be, but who  I was, then, now and forever. I never ever thought it would come true.



I married my first husband and had two wonderful children from him. Though we argued and he was abusive as was his family in many ways, I knew he was not the one for me. I jumped into another relationship and was sorely disappointing.



Then time , space, the time I needed to do things for me. From 93 to 97 I was alone. I dated but never found anyone that met the qualification. only one...someone to love me for me.



In 1997 I found my second husband and we were married for ten years and suffered MANY many trials. We lost homes, apartments, cars, children, dignity, sanity, humility, we lost it all. We struggled and tried so hard to endure but after ten years, we both just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be the wife he wanted and nor did I want to be. I wanted to be me. Honestly and truly.



In 2007, we broke apart and  not long after I met two wonderful men. One who was not ready for me nor I him. But there was something about him. The other man and I hit it off very well and I dated him for years. We had so much in common, we both loved art, we both loved comic books, we both enjoyed each other's company. He had fun together and when we were together physically, nothing could interrupt us. We had such a strong physical connection that neither of us had with any other and it drew us together. But as much as we tried, we were never fully right for each other. We constantly broke up and got back together. It tore us both apart to be away from each other, but eventually we both ended up leaving the other and suffered the pain and anguish that caused, but we both knew we needed to move on.



And then, HE showed up again in my life. The other man I met in 2007. We were reunited as friends in 2010 and hung out and went to concerts together and was there when the other needed a shoulder to cry on.



After the final breakup of me and my boyfriend, I needed to heal. I needed more time. I knew there was this other man that COULD be the one, but from all the baggage I was still carrying in my past, I needed time to fully heal.



When the time was right, I started dating him and time and years went by and I was blessed to be proposed to in 2-14-14 and we married in 8-15-15.



I call him HunEPants and he calls me HunZPants.



We are that couple that makes you want to barf because we are so cute together.



But the things that makes me love him the most is how he loves me.



Honestly, Truly, Wholly and most of all...

Unconditonally

I am so blessed to have him in my life and so blessed to finally know what love really means and finally have someone who loves me for me. Every part of me. He loves me not in spite of my baggage and trials I have been through, but BECAUSE of them.

Thank you Lord for giving me someone who loves me for me.

Xo, Trisha Trixie

Blessings

Every time I hear this song, I feel like this totally is my life.

I have been through heartache, pain, loss, pain, hurt, anguish, you name it, I feel like I have been through it...but then I hear this song and think

what if all those trials is how the Blessings come into my life?

What if the trails I have suffered through are God's mercies in disguise?

What is the loss, hurt and pain is a blessing to another?

What is all the suffering, adversity and every trial that I have been put through are what it takes for me or perhaps someone else to learn, to grow to understand?

What if, all these things were not even for me to learn or to grow? What if I was chosen, to bear these burdens, to suffer these pains to go through these trials, not even for me, but for others, for someone else?

What is the trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

"Blessings"

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise