Sanctuary Sunday: Control & Influence In Husbands

Today's Sanctuary Sunday is taken from the Sanctuary: Devotional bible for Women. Page 1455, Thursday Daily Sanctuary. I don't always read them in the right order anymore, since I have had this bible for years and years. Now I read it, more as a helpmate, opening it here or there for answers, as needed. Funny, in a, "divine intervention sort of way" that THIS is where I opened it to today because recently HunEPants and I had a hard time after just celebrating our first year of marriage, also learning about compromise, learning what ownership and responsibilities in the home were and learning about what each other's expectations of the other were. In some ways, it WAS about control.

Control of expectations, more than anything else and how we CAN'T control expectations anymore than we can control the other spouse. Enjoy this article and at the end read on for my comments to the article.


"Control is something every wife at times wishes she could have in reality-especially when circumstances swerve dizzying out of reach, breaking through our emotional defenses...

When it comes to our husband, of course, we do everything in our power to protect him from hurt and harm. That number of our husband's life events and experiences that we may influence but can't ultimately  control, however, is much larger than we may admit. When I'm tempted to forget this fact, I find it helpful to reflect on the following noteworthy list:

Events, Experience, and Personal Traits 

That I May Influence-But Can't Control-In My Husband's Life

• his personality and temperament
• his aptitudes, skills, and abilities
• his emotional, social, and spiritual growth...
• his conversion, and devotion to Christ
• his level of career achievement
• his financial and social status
• the use of his gifts and talents
• his size, appearance, and fitness level
• his decisions to engage in healthy or unhealthy habits: diet, exercise, smoking, alcohol use, overworking, overspending, and so on
• his passions, preferences, and personal tastes
• his state of happiness and emotional well being

Instead of seeking control, we can recognize God's handiwork in every moment, at each stage of life, whether it's painful or pleasurable, easy or difficult, frustrating, or satisfying...Though we can't view the entire picture yet, we can rest in the assurance that the Lord faithfully loves our husband and is tenderly working for his good, even in the tiniest details. the sovereign Painter is creating a priceless masterpiece. WE can trust Him to complete his job-perfectly. "

After reading this, I thought, "This is good advice for WIVES, but even more so for those in the DATING world. ESPECIALLY for those who want those men they are dating to BE their husbands. Men don't want to be shaped or formed or molded anymore than women do! I am sure we all don't mind a little nudge here or there in the right direction. I have been with men who helped me want to be a better women and I have had men tell me I make them want to be a better man. That is GOOD! it SHOULD be that way! we SHOULD inspire, encourage and uplift each other to be better people in this world. Just not CONTROL each other or try to control each other.

I like the "Noteworthy  List". I have never seen or heard of that before. I am definitely gonna print that off and post that where I can see it and maybe even make a small copy and put on in my wallet to remind me that those are things I can INFLUENCE, not CONTROL. 

I think they will be great reminders for me, and you ladies, as well, that you CAN make a difference in your man's life! You ARE something to him. Just look at this list!! You matter to him! Men are not like us. They don't going around giving people kudos all the time. Now if you told him you dind't mind a few whack on the ass, a few thumbs ups and a few literal HIGH FIVES, you would probably get more appreciation! If you are good with that, let him know! If not, then you are going to have to settle for knowing inside and taking the thanks he gives you and knowing that you DO make a difference and you matter to him!

Me?

I'm a dork.

I ask hunepants questions all the time for affirmations...

"do I matter to you?"

"Yes hunzpants"

"do you love me?"

"Of course I do hunzpants!"

"Did you like the food I made you for lunch?

"Yes, I thought it was great!"

"Do you love me?"

"I love you 7"

"Is that good?

"Yes because nobody can love 10, it's just impossible"

"Ok then, good to know"

(Yes, we are silly like that)

My point is, what I can't control , I ask. Other than that, I influence what I can. That is all us wives can do. Other than that, we have to know in our hearts that we are loved and when we don't know, use the mouths you were given and ask. And remember, this is for married and unmarried women too. We all can influence the men in our lives and the men in our lives DO care about us.

they just don't always have a way of showing it.

As more than ONE man has said to me in a lifetime....

YOU KNOW I'M A GUY, RIGHT? 

Until Next Time,

Trisha Trixie

Sanctuary Bible for Women can be bought on Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-NLT-Devotional-Bible-Women/dp/1414309562

Trixie Thoughts: Be the Best Brand of You

I have come to notice, or so it appears, that people who go to events, networking, panels, etc who tend to say things like

"Those people are being snobs and so on, or who say they didn't get anything out of it, or just whine and complain, most likely tend to be the ones who..

~need to listen the most

~need to expand their minds

~need to maybe take a step back and realize, hey maybe THEY are the problem not the other people

~need to realize THEY are their brand and how they talk about others or the event, does get back around and that will end up hurting your business, not helping it

~also need to realize they perhaps need more GIVE and less TAKE

~perhaps this isn't the right place for you, maybe this isn't your tribe

~perhaps YOU are the snob by judging and looking down on them for being who they are (didn't think of that one did ya)

If you are unhappy with the event, try to find something positive about it.

If you are unhappy with the people, try to be the type of person you want others to be.

If you are unhappy, do something about it more than bitch, whine and complain about it.

Turn it into a positive. Go befriend someone else. find someone you connect with. Speak up. Be nice....

From doing vendor shows and speaking engagements I see and hear this so often, it starts setting in... that realization that there is so much to offer and learn and grow at these kinds of things, but if you don't open yourself up to others, you will always be the one who thinks everyone else is wrong, your way is right, they are mean, they are snobs, they are..BLANK. THEY...never "YOU" meaning the "I" in you.

Character building is never easy, but if you really want to grow in your life, in business, as anything, there comes a time that to fully grow and succeed, one must do this for themselves. How do you expect to sell anything, get people to buy your product, or even desire to do business with you in any form or fashion, fi you always have a negative attitude about the people you are around when one goes to things like this.

I go to every event, no matter what it is with an open mind. I don't even have "expectations" as much as possible based on a quote by Tony Robbins...

"Trade Expectation for Appreciation"

It is not even about lowering your standards or expectations, it is mostly about not having them at all and not going with any pre-conceived notion of how the people will be, the speaker will be, or how the class will be. Just go with a positive intent. Like, an intent to learn new things, or an intent to meet new people, or an intent just get our of the house and do something more than sit on the internet all damn day or in most often, a hidey hole hidden away from the world because you didn't like this or that.

Products don't sell themselves.

People sell products.

Brands are the identity.

YOU are the brand.

Be the best brand of YOU.

Right Click and Save if you would like to post this or remember it for yourself !!

...

I truly think if people could just "get that" in their minds, there would be a lot less complaining and a lot more happiness in their life.

Until Next Time,

Xo, Trisha Trixie