Emotional Nightmare and Dreams

I had the most intense dream/nightmare last night. I was running, being chased by bullies and they had a German shepherd dog. They let the dog loose and I ran into an old house and yelled at my husband to put on pants because I needed him to protect me. I could see him vividly in the kitchen our retro home, which is rare in my dreams. He quickly got dressed and was coming to my aid.

The dog stood on my porch growling fiercely at me and the bullies were on the sidewalk and I turned and tightly grabbed the screen door and started chanting curses at the dog and the bullies to be removed from my home and off my property and many other curses I don't remember. In the middle of my nightmare, my spouse woke me saying I was crying in real life and whimpering.

I got up, went to the bathroom, turned on lights drank water everything I could do to wake up. I went back to sleep and ended up back in my dream but it was slightly different.


I was still in the house but things were different. It was like someone moved in. I called my mom and she told me this friend of ours may have rented it without her permission. She was upset about this gal doing this, and would talk to her. It was not her right to rent it but I was not sure if that is what really happened.

Then I  could hear something, I went upstairs and there was water leaking all through the house, there were two sets of stairs and both had rotted out in the center and I had to climb on the side to get around the leak. As soon as I started looking for the leak, it stopped. I never found out where the leak was coming from, but it stopped. Behind a closet door I found a squatter hiding in my house with a small child, a boy I think. We spoke briefly and then they ran out. The rest of the house was destroyed like it was being used for a crack house or something.

Later she came back and gave me the keys. She was very nervous and almost ran. I asked her to wait and then told her I already had new locks on the door but thank you for bringing back the keys. I asked her where she was staying since she left the house. She said a hotel with her and her son. He was very young, I remember that. I asked her to come in and told her I was not going to call the cops I was just worried about her and her son and how they were. She got her son and they both came in the house. We talked and I hugged her and I ended up befriending her.

I remember my spouse nearby again but this time his face was not so visible.

Another weird thing is I called a male friend of mine who is usually my photographer in Iowa to come to fix the leak. That was also very odd. This person does represent someone I trust and I know he cares for me.

My spouse said as I relayed all this he thinks maybe I was projecting in my dream that I was in trouble and that is why he woke up to wake me up.

When I looked these all up in dream interpretations it all relates to feeling like people you trust are against you. The leak is emotional leaks in your life. The people are people you know you can trust.
The dog represents fear and the feeling of being attacked. All together it relates to stress and I have been very stressed out lately because of certain thing happening in an area of my life I put lots of stock into.

I am curious to know what my therapist says about all this when I see him this week and welcome any other thoughts you, who may be reading this, may have. Just please be considerate and watch how you say it.

also I have been having sever stomach issues lately and if you know anything about Mind Body connection, you would understand this all relates.

Another thing I think of is Melody ross and Brave Girls. She talks alot about protecting your soul house and so I think I will look into watching some of those videos again and reconnecting with that part of me.

I am off to go spend time with a friend that I know loves me and cares for me and have some girl time.

Thanks for reading

Remember who you wanted to be

I have wanted to get back to my writing for some time now. Of course, life gets in the way. Toastmasters now takes up more o my time and I find myself trying to fit in my business with Toastmasters, not the other way around. We are nearing the end of January and recent events have helped me to see that I need to alter this point of view.

While Toastmasters is a great leadership organization full of people it is full of people. Not everyone is going to be nice, kind or respectful. Trying to explain why I feel a lack of respect to others has been a moot point.

I got to thinking, why is that?

#1 they are not me.

They have not been through what I have been through. They have not overcome toxic people and dealt with people trying to shame me all my life. They have not had the trials and adversities I have. They have not walked a mile in my shoes.

They have not had to overcome what I have. Death, Loss, Rape, molestation, self-harm, abuse, addiction...cancer. Maybe one or two have had to deal with one or two of these things, but I have yet to meet anyone who had all the same as me.

I am a unicorn.

I know I am.

I am unique and different. Not just because I was made that way, but because I became that way.

I knew in each of these trials in my life I had a choice.

1- crawl under the covers and retreat and do not face the world. Is that you? Is that what you are doing right now while reading this?

2-Overcome. WAke up and realize not everyone is bad. Not everyone is mean. Not everyone is hurtful. Maybe this is you.

Or maybe you are caught in the in-between. Wanting to overcome, wanting to be better, wanting to be happy and wanting to change.

While yes, I have tools, a book, a workbook and so on, this is not where I am going to sell them to you. You have to find them and maybe you will find mine.


This is a place for me to vent, to get out those evil thoughts I just can't keep in my head anymore.

This is a place where I want you to know that you are not alone.

I have been where you are.

We as humans have the ability to adapt and overcome.

Let's make 2019 the year where we both make that happen.

XOXO Trisha Trixie