When Love Sees You

Blessed are you who Weep on their knees
How many days and nights have I weeped on my knees?
Blessed are you, shaking your head, at two tiny fish and some bread
I have been here to nearly have nothing

Tell me your Story, show me your wounds
 and I'll show you what loves sees, when love sees you
I have been very hurt and very wounded in my past
Some know this and some don't but I speak of it openly and often for a reason,
not to harp or whine or belabor the things that have happened to me,
yet to share and open my heart to you and let you know
I understand
I have been there

I have been raped, beaten, abused, loss a father at age 10 years, loss someone else close to me like a father at 16, was attacked, children before I was ready, loss of children because of it and more, trouble with in laws, kicked out of the military before boot camp was even over, divorce at a young age, new religion, uncertainty of religion, divorce again, tried to believe in love, after 4 years received heartache and heartbreak and yet, sadly there is still SO much more you don't know....

and yet...

I still stand. Why?

I am strong because God made me strong
I am tough because he made me tough
I am unique because he made me different
I have had these trials so I can learn, but I know it is so I can share with you
he gave a voice to shy girl who preferred darkness and corners to the light
and now I shine so brightly because of the Lord
I have faith in him and trust in him that though things may not always be the way I want, desire or think they should be,
I know the Lord has a plan for me
and I have faith that everything will work out.

 Blessed are you walking on waves
to find yourself sinking when you look away
Blessed is the widow who gave her last coin to the Lord


 I came for your story
I came for your wounds
To show you what love sees




When Love sees you...


 You are always welcome to share your story
You are always welcome to comment on any of my blogs
I understand
I was given the gift of "Empathy" as well as many more
I am here if you need a friend

I am here
and so is the Lord

XOXO,

Love you always

Trisha Trixie

Inspiration Boards and other Visual Stimuli

One of my favorite Coaches as well as blogger, Stephanie St. Clair from Blissbombed is soon going to have a class on Inspiration Boards. When I saw her post about it, I looked around my room and deeply smiled! Not only do I believe in Inspiration Boards, but I believe in quotes, phrases and anything else that is Visual Stimuli for your soul.

I grew up with post it notes and lipstick writings of inspiration from my mother on my bathroom windows, lunch boxes and notebooks. I took the cue and started jotting things down to remember and keep the older I was.

Last year ago I started learning more about Dream Boards and Art through Healing from Brave Girls Club. This transitioned into learning more about Full Moon Boards from Jaime Ridler at Ridler Studios. The Jen Allen at Right Brain Business Plan had us to visual mappings as entrepreneurs to get us in the right mind frame.As the year progresses I learned more and more about canvases, books, boards, etc for Visual Inspiration. Through the teaching I found Carolyn Rubenstein's A Beautiful Ripple Effect and started gathering quotes and pasting them with mod podge like a mad woman for more inspiration. I joined Goddess Leonie's circles and made Visual Permission Slips to see every day. I followed Danielle La Porte's blog and print and post her words at work, in my car and at home for encouragement. I started following Brene Brown's Ordinary Courage and took her words and put them in my SOAR journal as we as the wonderful writing and learning I gathered from my SOAR class itself.

Then the universe led me to Stephanie St. Claire and Blissbombed. After  hard break up and an uncertainty I couldn't bear, I followed her blog, read her old blog and gladly signed up for the Daily Note Card to hear her words. I took her Bad Ass Broad Workshop and it was the best thing for me to kick me ass into gear and get me back on track with my life. And yes, I even made a Bad Ass Board to keep her words in my head at all times as well as a Hell No and Hell Yes Board from her blog of the same.

I still have written on my Mirror "I am a Bad Ass Broad!" and whenever I clean my mirror, I reqite it to remind me!

The words on boards, on post it notes, on mirrors, in my cube at work, in my car, in my wallet and on my walls...well they inspire me. They are like friends to my soul. I know what blog or person said each canvas or note I am reading. These words make me smile. They lift me up. They help me go about my day. They help me when I am down. They make me smile more when I am happy. They are my life. I would not be able to live without them.

In my fury over my ex dumping me at the begging of the year I tore everything off my wall and threw it to the floor of my studio. I felt despair and loss. The items stayed on my floor for three days. My roommate said "Are you ok? Your walls are as blank as your heart seems."  That was the truth. I went away for solace and understanding and while I was gone little by little did I start to rebuild these quotes and images and boards. When I came back two months later, I promptly put the images back up and little by little have been adding to my walls.

Those who know me, know this is me. These quotes and inspirational words are my life force.

To those who may think that it is unlike you, or you are just not the type of person who care about these things, I say to you, just try.  Having the words in front of you, in your vision, in your life...I truly believe they make a difference. They have made a difference in mine, just like the women who site these blogs have made a difference by sharing their words, learning and understanding with the world and inadvertently me, have done the same. I gain nothing by sharing this with you. I don't have stock or affiliates with any of these. I am a believer and that is all.

Below are my walls and inspiration Boards I wanted to share with you and hope you can enjoy the feeling they have given me and maybe open up your mind to it all if it was closed. Enjoy the show of life.  Focus on what you love and what you desire to help move you forward in life. If you are open in the tinyeswt bit, I believe it will change you...

XOXO,
Trisha Trixie

Radio Songs for the Moving On

Doesn't it always seem like whatever is going on with you is what is on the radio? Especially when you are going through something hard. Well, All the songs on the radio are doing that to me so I am going to share them with you. Yes, I have done this before but music speaks to me and I speak to you. Whether there is a YOU out there who is listening or not, IDK. Honeslty, right now, IDC either. I need to write this blog. Cathartic Healing as a friend once said to me.

I just finished watching an Episode of Warehouse 13 and in it the woman said "The reasons why I am so mad at you and hated you was because YOU were the proof that he had moved on."

I guess that is why I have such a hard time with J's new woman. I don't really know her. I am sure she is not evil and probably rather nice. But I despise her yet still. To me she got in the way. Perhaps it is what was said in the show. She is just the proof that it IS truly over. All hope is lost and gone.

I know I should not care. I am dating someone else and seeing how and where that will take me. Continuing to give it my energy is futile and undeserving. I keep reading ad seeing all these things that say to stop giving someone who doesn't deserve it your energy and give it to someone who years for it.



I come from a home where words such as this are spoken like they are bible. Think positive. What you send out comes back to you. Put him in Divine Order. Light a white candle. Don't give him the time of day. Turn the page.

It is hard though when you go from "Bubbly"  being someone's "Delilah" and then telling you you are their miracle and  "All I need is a Miracle" to being just another somebody, another no one, nothingness, just..
"Someone That I used to Know" and "Rumor Has It/Someone Like You". Instead it came out to that he never did "Realize" what we had and what we could have been. Now I am just trying to deal with the fact that he may be "The One That Got Away".

It has been 6 months and I am still hurting. I am "Not over" him yet. I am still fighting tears. It feels so frustrating  because it feels like the is no "Getting over" him. I can't help but think how we could have had it all, "Rolling in the Deep", because more than anyone he really did have my heart inside his hands. I would have stepped on a "Grenade" for him and yet someone how I feel like he threw me on top of one. I think men who plan on breaking your heart should have warning labels or wear signs "Warning!! Will Break Your Heart".

But each day I am getting "A Little Bit Stronger" I have become Strong, through the loss and trials of him. He is engaged to another woman. He proposed to her three weeks after he let me go. He didn't fight for me. To HIM, I was not worth fighting for. I am learning to get along without him. Love Bites, but Love can be wonderful too and in my Disneyesque vision somewhere out there it has to be true.

I am getting stronger without him. I am done spinning my wheels and I am done letting him drag my heart around. I know my heart will never be the same. But I know I will be ok, even on my weakest days...and there still are some of those days...but I do not desire to turn to a pillar of salt so I will face towards the future and see what this new man in my life may bring me. I will Remember him, but I need to move on.

He took many things from me, but he didn't take "The Part of Me" that is strong and tough. The part that will make it no matter what. He is not going to break my soul. I am a sparkling firework, a dancing flame, I shine and help others shine too.

All in all and in the end I learned the lesson we all figure out..

"What doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger" so I just put on my Red High Heels and just keep walking....

to "The Beat of my Own Drum"

He may have broke me, I may have a hard time knowing what love is again, I may have a hard time falling in love again, even now with someone new I am tentative and I know that is because I put all my hope and belief in the ex and now that that is gone, I just don't know what to believe. But even through all that, inside Trisha Trixie still lives. She is Strong. She is powerful. She is bubbly. She is fun. She shines. She lives. and I know and I tell her often. She is loved. I am remembering to still be the ME that I love and others love to...so here is an old Trisha Video I leave in honor of that...