Life and times

I hate my job. I think my boss hates me. I think she is trying to drive me crazy so I will leave.
People complain about me. Now I am syruppy sweet, walking on eggshells and questionsing myself. This of course is very stressful. I think I might be getting an ulcer.

The only thing that makes this bearable is my friends- A, R, B, and S. Hey. I jsut noticed if I had a friend with a Y name I would ARByS. How funny. ARBS are all good to me. S and B are guys and Aand R are gal pals. R is very awsome and I really like her. A is a new friend and has really helped me through lately.

B and S give me crap all the time, but generally are very kewl...

Some of my non work friends said I never update the blog, but I didn't want to gripe all the time. So here I am updating the blog, soory for the gripe. Get over it as the Eagles say.

Well, have a Happy New Year and take care.

Mothering 1700 miles away

You know its' going to be a bad day when your son is depressed the night before.

How can I mother and care for my child so far away??

Manic Monday:

P calls at 6 am. So you think he is calling to discuss son who is depressed? He wasn't. He called about CS, of course. I should have know better. I thought fo one moment, for one time, maybe he truly cared about A and was worried about him, so I answered. Stupid me. Well, lesson here: I am never doing that again.

Walk into work. one of the gorls on the team cannot log in, phone is not working, computer is not working, nothing works. Email Tech support all the while someone who is another co-worker is drving them crazy emailing them at the same time. How do you casually tell someone to kindly "let me do my job" without offending them? you dont.

One manager still out, broke foot. My manager gone. D's phone is rerouting to B whose phone is rerouting to me. whoa. Busy day at work and all I can think about is this

How can I be a mother so far away? My son needs me. It is his 10th grade year. He said he wants to see me for Spring Break but he was going to wait to ask until after christmas. He is not happy and he hates his life. It is SO hard sometimes and other times I don't even think about it. I have lived this life for so long I have grown accustomed to it.

But when it is like this, my thoughts are turned deeply to my children. Do I focus on A more, he is the one speaking up. He is the one who is saying he is hurting. Now I am hurting too. I lvoe them so much.

But the counselor at school is trying to help me help him. I know it will be ok. I am jsut being a mother so far away.

Profound Statement of the Day

We cannot pass through trials
Trials must pass through us

Katrina updates

I started the day doing Katina updates and I ended the day staying late to do updates. I was able to do some work converting docs to PDF but then...more Katrina updates.

It was a crazy day, but at least I was ble to obtain 2 printers for my other co-workers. I was able to have a man at a business we use get on the stick to change the way he does something and wow my fellow co-workers in the other building. I am now labeled The Queen. Then when she found out I have only been there two weeks she was really wow'd!

I rec'd my new supplies and drove IT, tech support, facilities and App support crazy.
I proved to my new boss that I am willing to stay to get the job done.

Lastly, I helped a few people have a good day today! ( or at least I think I had something to do with it)

Made it thru SW

Well, I made it through the SW (short week). I have the P&P mainly done now and now I am working on another type of tracking. Now B wants me to create a Spreadsheet to track all this money that we are spending on re-recording documents.

I feel like I am the spreadsheet queen lately. I am busy, but I love my job. It is a lot of fun.

It is a slight more challenging than my other positions, but so far I am keepingup with B so it's all good.

I was getting a bit stressed but my friends said I was trying to be too serious and I need to showmore of myself at work. So I have been cracking jokes and trying to be a little more light hearted. Also, I gave the guys who were trying to new Doc Tracking I made last week, a hand designed Thank you card and a bag of Life Saver Gummies. This is me.

I like rewarding people and thanking them. It is important to me (prob cuz I don't her it often) so I assume it is important to others.

My friend C is a VP there and I stopped by and saw him Friday. He talked to me for a bit and gave me some good information. Plus he gave me some recruiting cards to hand out. He is also my neighbor and my spouse, C and I went out to Sushi Sat night and had a chance to socialize outside of work. He is from Australia and a pretty kewl guy. It is always good to have connections.

Well, here goes another week of spreadsheets and tracking. Good news is: I received a new printer. Bad news is: Everyone keep stopping by my desk making some off the cuff comment about how nice it must be to have a new printer. I never can tell if they are being nice or sarcastic and jealous.

This job is going to either be the deth ofmy social life or heighten it, I haven't figured out which yet??

BFNNFL T~

Short Week

Well, this is going to be a short week at work, but much to do. I had a meeting today with 3 of the managers and my SVP. I had to print the P & P I am currently working on and the memo's we were considering inputting. I had my PINK Jr. Legal with me. This is a very me thing to have by the way. I enjoyed the meeting. I am such a nerd. How many people say, "I enjoyed the meeting." Geez.

Anyway, I wrote down everything and wasn't afraid to make a few suggestions. They were taken well and clarified who was in charge of what part they were doing. Then when we went back to our desks I sent out a post-meeting email with all the responsibilities ( I hate saying DUTIES as it sounds like Do-Dee and I will get into that another time why) and even inputted what I was reponsible for. I felt like I needed to do that as I don't want them to think I am not doing anything and I am having them do all the work.

Also, today I asked B what the priorities were for the work I was doing so I was focusing my time and energy in the right direction. I think she seemed impressed by that as she smiled real big when I left her office.

So I have this huge P & P project due by next week and something else I have to create a tracking for in Excel. Plus some minor things that she wants done as fill in work. And then there is the daily Interoffice, plus daily reports that have to be run, that I didn't know had to be run daily, but found out today and now I am to do those first thing in the morning. (breathe)

I can't believe how much she was doing on her own w/o an admin for so long. I love taking care of things and helping her so she can focus on her job. In a way it is service. I love to serve others, so this is an extension of volunteering in a way. I know. I'm weird. I look at things weird. What can I say.

Oh, I already rec'd feedback on my other tracking and of course, they didn't like it. Go figure. But honestly, if someone gives you a soft copy form to fill out do you really think in this day and age that I mean for you to fill it out by hand? I meant for them to type in the info and write the E team they give it to with their name and then email it to me at the end of the day. But, I guess that wasn't clear. So they have another way they want to do it so I said fine let's try it your way and then we will take both ways and I will discuss it with B and we will go from there.

Then there is the birthdy thing. ok, I worked in Food service for over 12 years and thought I had heard the last Happy Birthday song in a group setting when I left, but no I get to hear it nearly every other day it seems. I have only been then a week and some and I have heard the song 3 times. If we have a lot of birthdays that month, that is a lot of singing and plus the loss of productivity is endless. So I am taking a vote for who wants to celebrate Once a month and who wants to celebrate Each birthday. I don't think I am becoming the most favorite person at the office, but I am not there to make friends I am there to do a job.

Of course, I say that and then hate the fact that I have to lunch alone. Sure, I see people eating lunch at other tables, but I feel if they wanted me over they would talk to me more or ask. I don't want to crash their lunch. It's funny how I am an ESTJ but somehow the I from HS comes out and I get shy.

So I blog. And now, after skinng the chicken we cooked onthe BBQ yesterday for Labor day and making French cut green beans, red potatoes and eating left over Trixie's world Famous Deviled Eggs, I will blog my other site and then off to relax more in front of the TV.

Hope you all had a great day off yesterday if you had one.

BFNNFL
T~

Survived Week One

Well. I made it. Isurvived week one. Then the cool thing is I have Monday off and only have 4 days next week too. I really like the workload. It is about perfect. It is not overwhelming at this point. I told my boos in the interview I do not like to sit still and I like to keep busy and well she has definately kept me busy and you know? I love every minute of it!

The two Escrow Managers are really nice. We have been starting a banter back and forth via email now for the certain things I needed this week. I had a lot of reports that needed to be completed and so I created some reports for them to fill in. So they did what they could and didn't even bat an eyelash. Let me tell you it was weird!

I have not been in a managment role for some time now and I didn't even realize being an Executive Secretary was considered a mgmt role, but really it is. It appears that if I want it done, no one says anything they just do it. I was so shocked, but I had to keep my cool and act like they were jsut supposed to do it and that's all.

I am a little lonely eating lunch alone and such and no one really is talking me yet. There are two girls that were sitting next to me but my boss moved them so I wasn't distracted plus that when when I am disucssing confidential info I do not have someone listening in.

This is all so new to me but I can't act like that. I have to keep acting like I have been in this role before which is not true but I think I am getting the hang of being that way. I love it. I love researching all this info and creating all these reports. I think I am going to get to know excel very well!

I would like to take aproblem solving/critical thinking class though and I think it would really help, but until then I am going to work on my Excel skills as I seem to be using this ALOT!

Well, I don't like blogs that ramble so Iwill be off. I am so happy and elated. I feel like I could fly. I love this job. It is a good place for me. In the words of Annie, "I think I'm gonna like it here!"

BFNNFL~T

2nd day of Work

Well, I survived the new hire orientation day. It was long and brutally about nothing I know, but it all looks exciting and challenging! They have state of the art equipment Cicso voice over Ip phones, hand scans for you to clock in and out of and pretty good bandwith.

Plus many perks and treats often. Bagel Mondays and Fresh Fruit WEdnesdays. This week is even themse week-Casual Week as it is the end of month and the mortgage biz is crazy at month end!

I don't want to say where I am working, but it is a Mortgage company you all know I bet and I work in Closing. I almost don't know what that means with the excpetion of the "I work in". haha

I am busy though already doing reports and spreadsheets, plus working on the Policies and Procedures manual! And that was just today! I love it and everyone says they are Pro-employee and they love it, so I hope it all to be true.

Ah...when you wish on a star I guess it really does come true......

(music begins to play in your head) When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires, will come to you.....

Preparing

So, I am running around today. Nothing special. Laundry, 4 loads. Dishwasher dishes, 2 loads. Menu planning (Just started), Cleaning. Vacuumed downstairs so far. If I am going back to work FT I have to get this house in order. "Organize yourself, every needful thing... a house of order..." so this is what I am doing. S is working on hooking up the router so he won't keep taking my internet. It drives me nuts to have that wire running all through the house.

So, I checked my email, I have to water my plants outside still, and check up on my food. I am preparing a broil in the crock pot for tinight. Carrots, onions, garlic, tomatoes, thyme, oregano, s an p.

But in the Everyday Food book for this month there are so many great recipies. I am currently working on a recipie for Roasted Tomato Sauce. Instead of simmering it on the stove, you cook all the ingredients int he oven and then puree them. Store it in the freezer for the week and you have wonderful tomato sauce. All I know is right now my house smells amazing! An Italian would feel at home here. It smells of garlic, tomatoes and onions and oddly that does really smell good!

Yeserday for lunch we had fresh mozzarella, tomatoes and basil for lunch. We got the ingredients all at Costco! No wait, I think we got the basil somehere else. But the Mozz was divine! ummmmm yummm.

So, see I am silly and crazy at times but underneath I am really suzy homeaker! I love to cook. S says is he can keep me away from processed foods I make amazing meals. I have lots of cook books but these Everday Food books really help people who want to use real items for real food. I like fancy meals along with the next guy, but I like eating real meals too. This book has so much, lunch ideas and everything. Even things for one person.

Geez. You would think I had stock in it or something. maybe I should look into that. Well, you see this book is connected to Martha Stewart. Hopefully that doesn't turn you away.

Well, I need to go check on my food and finish organizing my home. Toodles. I prb won't blog for a few days unless I get a break. I am volunteering for an event doing many girls hair into 40 styles, and then being an usher on Sunday, then Monday new job. If I have time I will pop in and say hi!

Later.

First Offer Letter

Well, I did it. I signed my first offer letter! I was so excited it was hard to contain myself! We went through the benefits, what to expect on my first day and where I would go. I start on Monday. that is so wild! I can't believe it! The funny thing is I didn't even think I would get this job! Go figure!

It is so close too! I could almost walk it! It is only 2.2 miles from my house. We will wait for that once I get established a little though. I feel like dancing int he streets! Woo hoo!

After I got done, I drove to the bldg I am supposed to go to to make sure I knew where it was, where is park, etc. I don't want to be late my first day!

Then I went to Costco to get gas and this guy walked right in front of me to talk to the van ahead of me right as the guy was leaving. I was a little irritated, but instead I was too happy about my job so as he left he walked in front of me again and then walked by my window. He shirked and I said, "Oh, Alright I will let it go this time!" and then I smiled. he came over to my window and said, "You have the most amazing smile!"... (which of course just made me smile more) and then he said, "Stop it! There you go again. I don't know if I can take it!" and walked away. Silly boy!

Then I went Over to the Irvine Spectrum to Robinson's May to the Origins counter. I had a sample card I recived in one of my many magazines for a FREE sample of Perfect World for ten days, so being the Sample Queen, I of course, had to go get it before they ran out. I went there, waited a bit for them to open, talked to some old ladies, and got my free sample. Woo hoo!

Well, this has turned out to be good. Good Thursday. Offer Letter Thursday! Free Stuff Thursday! Great Compliment Thursday! (ok now imagine me running through the house, arms in the air, like Kevin on Home Alone screaming...)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! I got a job I got a job I got a job I got a job I got a job I got a job I got a job I got a job!!!

Music and Memories

You know what is the most unfair? When a song comes on and it is a song you completely love but the fact that it reminds you of your EX or some pathetic friend in your life makes you turn the dial and move on, or click on if you are listening to the Inernet.

I love songs from Def Leppard and Dokken but everytime I hear them it reminds me of him. Then of course I get to thinking, what is wrong with his head. I mean, at one point in time I loved this person and we got along well. We had children together. We laughed and had fun. Then of course something went awry and it all broke apart. So for years now, I can't listen to song sI love because of this person? I think not.

I think we need to change those memories. May all music memories be good ones and if not make them ones!

Flowers

Do you ever think about those things that you never got in life? Maybe there are things you would like to change in your life? Maybe there are things you would like changed but have no control over it. Well, this is me and flowers.

In all my life..wait..now I have to think about it... ah..nope...in all my life I have NEVER recived flowers from a delivery service from anyone. EVER. I have been brought flowers. I have been bought flowers on the spot. I have had someone I didn't know at Universal studios hand me a flower to "brighten my day". I have sent other flowers, I have bought flowers and made paper flowers.

But nope, no way no how have I ever been sent flowers. My spouse would not think of such things. He does not think about the little things. Even though he has been married to me for almost 8 years he still does not get the concept that the little tiniest fragments of things can enlighten my day to the point of skipping!

Maybe I am being selfish and thinking such things. I mean at least I have been given flowers at some point in time. I know some people who probably in their life haven't even had such things as this. But this is important to me. Maybe they don't care. I don't know.

I had a friend recently tell me "I also think men should do things to make a woman feel good everyday. Even if it's not tangible things; it's how a woman views the way she is treated when in a group of other women talking about how they are treated * that woman should feel good about the way she is being treated in comparison to her friends."

I fully agree.

Got offer

Ok so I finally get an offer and decide to tell my friend and instead of JUST saying "Congratulations" I was on the receiving end of much unsolicited info. Even though I have said, no I don't need any.

I have only received one other FT offer in my life and that was years ago. I am excited! I wanted someone to be happy with me. IT didn't happen. She doesn't understand. This is a job. a real job. It pays. Money.

Right now I am more financially strapped than I ever have been. I am trying to make the right decision. I am trying to get moeny in my pocket.

Hold out. Holding out is great, but that doesn't put food on my table or pay my car payment. I have no furniture in my house right now! Geez. It would be great to live at a University with my boyfriend and only have small bills to pay, but by the time CS takes out half I am working for peanuts anyway!

I jsut wanted to share my news.
I jsut wanted someone to say "congratualtions".

Is that too much to ask, really?

The Job Waiting game

Well, I am going completely out of my mind waiting for jobs to decide if they do or don't want me. Companies take forever to decide these things and they don't give you updates or anything. What gets me is that I have been seen how bosses get when they finally decide on someone and then that persons says , "Oh, well I took another job, thanks." The companies get so irate when people do this, but if they never give you updates on what they are thinking about you, how do you know they haven't moved on??

I was just discussing this with my friend and we were talking about how in the 50's companies had the courtesy to say, "We went another way." or "We are still decidding." Now adays they tell you nothing. What do they expect you to just sit there and wait for you to put all your eggs in one basket and wait for just them?

DUH!! HELLO! If you are looking for work, it is because you NEED a job!

My other friend said it is good that I am being aggressive in my job search! I didn't know I was being agressive, but well good. I just want a job. I need cash flow people! I am tired of interviewing and emailing and resume editing and conference calling, jsut decide already!!!!

***Update*** One of the companies said they will let me know by the end of the day. I saw them 2 weeks ago. Am I ancy or doesn it normally take this long? Geez!

Don't say Bored

Well, I was scolded from my agency for telling the client I was bored. Well, they asked!!! Oh well. 3 more days 3 more days if I don't get fired then blackballed at least. I love Adecco, they have been great to me. The problem is sometime a new person comes on and they don't know me so they give me grief. But all in all they have been the best to me. I used Rememdy and they have real low key, low paying work. For all you temps out there...keep your heads up...things have to get better!!

Jobs

I am working a temp job this week. It is, to me, the msot boringest job int he world. I hate reception jobs. Sit there,look pretty, do nothing. Plus the pay is yuck for what I usually make but it is something. By the time I get paid CS will take half so it will be earning less than minimum wage after all is taken out and I am not even getting tips. Maybe I should start a tip jar and see what happens. :) Funny. I need to put that on my other blog. Usually work takes my mind off other thing, but this job is so boring I have to do things to take my mind off of work and then take my mind off of those things too! If I do all that...where is my mind?

Try and have a great day.
Ok have a good day.
Ok, just get out of your pajama's already, ok?

Lonely house again

The house is quiet
The rooms are vacant
The noises are gone
The food is there
The kitchen is clean
The laundry is done
The shoes are in place
The chores are mine again
The world is back to normal
in this little place of mine

Back to a world of no children
or sounds
or fighting
or messes

my heart is lonely
My heart is sad
I miss them oh so much

unless you've lived this life of mine
you would never understand
but thank you for your empathy anyway.

Getting by

Well, the summer is over and we are getting by. The boys go home in a few days. Back to a home where I am not a prt of. Back to a town that keeps you from reality. Back to a life they have to lead, that they would probably rather not. Another day gone by, 5 weeks come and gone. I can't beleive I won't see them for a WHOLE year! How can I not see my own children for a year? I missed so many first and now I won't be there for dating, driving, and working.

Well, we all lie in the bed we make or play the hand we are dealt. I guess this is part of their trial and training as well. I sure will miss them. I already have cried my tears this week, though I am sure I will cry more. Though my life goes topsy turvy when they are here, it is different, things get crazy, but I miss them still.

It is jsut so hard to live my life sometimes knowing up from down and not having an identity crisis. Most of the year I am a part of a couple, a few times out of the year and 5 weeks int he summer I am a full time mother, the rest of the time Scott works so much that though I am a couple, I am alone a lot so it feels like I am single. I am the piece from Smallville that is unlike anyother that doesn't fit anywhere but one place...God's place.

Sigh...Well, back to the job hunt, getting ready for the boys to leave, preparation for next week, and preparing for interviews to get back to work. Welcome to my life...hold on tight...it's going to be a bumpy ride. :)

I try

I try to be a good friend. I try to be good at whatever it is I am doing. Yet sometimes when I hear so much opposition from others I wonder why even try? There is no real handbook for life. Evn if there was, all you could is try because things do not work the same for all. I try to cook. I try to laugh. I try to do what is right. Ever feel like giving up? I do, but then I don't know where I would go to give up to. So I just keep trying.

Alone

Being alone is not so bad but after a lifetime of it it is hard not to drive a new group of friends crazy desiring so much to be a part of things, be invited, be thought of. Part of this I am sure is part mom, part wife and the rest me, but well...

Have you ever wanted somthing so much in life that you feel like the universe is doing everything it can NOT to give it to you?

The moments

You know those moments between the day and the night
The moments between being young and becoming a teenager
The moments between staring at a star and the star falling
The moments between being irresponsible and being mature?


Why can't we stay there?


T~ 7-21-05

melancholy feelings

I'm feeling melancholy. I want to listen to slow music and stare at the wall. I don't think this is usual behavior. I am sure other feel or have felt this way. I use this time to dream or think. Do some inward reflectionof the soul. Sometimes I dream about far off places or sometimes of the past. I remember times of joy and laughter or times of sadness where I learned from it. These times where the wall looks more interestingthan life are nto easy for many.

People look at me and think because of my cheery attitde everything is ok. But deep inside perhaps my heart hurts too. I have been through so much even inthe past year. Those who know me see this, but do not think this has fazed me. But it has.

I question everything now. I questions my morales, my values, my religions my views. I keep asking myself if those are things I truly believe or are they things I beleive as a leftover from someone else. I feel like the runaway bride who never knew what eggs she really liked. I like mine poached medium by the way.

I am in a refindingmode I guess. Re finding myself. Overlooking the past-did I do those things I said I was going to? Well, some but not all. Is it enough to have done some or is it pertinent to cross them all off my list?

life has a funyn way of working things out you know, but sometimes, some nights, some moments...are just melancholy.

Forgt I'm 35

I think we should all be allowed to be the age really feel we are. For some that would be older than they are and for some that would be younger. Sometimes I want to forget Im 35. I feel 25 and look 25, so why can't I jsut be 25? Well, now that would be silly. I know many other people think these types of thoughts.

But for me age 35 is becoming unbearable. There are parts that are exciting again. Trying new things. Studying for new careers. But this is all in an effort to be more mature. I don't want to just be more mature, I want to have fun like a 20 year old again.

So conflicetd and confused. I am the age that I am, but I can be the age I want to show.

Use the Day

Keep forever in view of the momentous value of life; aim at its worthiest use-it's sublimest end; spurn, with disdain, those foolish trifles and frivolous vanities, which so often consume life, as the locusts did Egypt; and devote yourself, with the ardor of a passion, to attain the most divine improvements of the human soul. In short, hold yourself in preparation to make the transition to another life.

~ J. Foster

The List

I got this from another blog and thought it was kewl.

((X) Crashed a car(X) Been in love(X) Been dumped( x) Been fired(x ) Been in a fist fightX) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back(X) Made out with a stranger (X) Lied to a friend(x ) Had a crush on a teacher(x ) Been to Europe(X) Skipped school( x) Been to Mexico (only if TJ counts)(X) Been on a plane( x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show(X ) Thrown up in a bar (x ) Eaten (X) Been in an abusive relationship(X) Taken painkillers(X) Love someone or miss someone right now(X) Laid and watched cloud shapes go by(X) Made a snow angel(X ) Had a tea party(X) Flown a kite(X) Built a sand castle(X) Gone puddle jumping(X) Played dress up(X) Jumped into a pile of leaves(X) Gone sledding(X) Cheated while playing a game(X) Been lonely( ) Fallen asleep at work/school(x) Watched the sun set(X) Felt an earthquake( x) Touched a snake(X) Slept beneath the stars(X) Been tickled( x) Been robbed(X) Been misunderstood(x ) Pet a reindeer/goat(X) Won a contest(X) Run a red light(X) Been in a car accident(X) Felt like an outcast (X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (X) Had deja vu(X) Danced in the moonlight(X) Hated the way you look(X) Witnessed a crime(X) Been obsessed with post-it notes(X) Walked barefoot through the mud(X) Been lost(x ) Been to the opposite side of the world(x ) Swam in the ocean(X) Felt like dying.(X) Cried yourself to sleep(X) Played cops and robbers(X) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers(X) Sung karaoke(x ) Paid for a meal with only coins (X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (yeah)(X) Made prank phone calls when you were younger (X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue(x ) Danced in the rain(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe(X) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about(X) Blown bubbles(x ) Had a bonfire on the beach(x ) Crashed a party(x ) Gone rollerbladdin'(X) Had a wish come true(X) Worn pearls and jeans (together( ) ( x) Told a complete stranger you loved them(x ) Kissed a mirror(X) Sang in the shower(x ) Owned a little black dress (x ) Had a dream that you married someone(X) Glued your hand to something (x ) Kissed a fish(X) Worn the opposite sex's clothes ( x) Been a cheerleader(X) Sat on a roof top(X) Screamed at the top of your lungs(x ) Done a one-handed cartwheel(X) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours(X) Stayed up all night(x ) Didn't take a shower for a week(x ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree(X) Climbed a tree( x) scared to watch scary movies(x ) Believe in ghosts(X) Have less than 30 pairs of shoes(x ) Played ding-dong-ditch (x) TP'd someones house(X) Played chicken(x ) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on(X) Been told you're gorgeous by a complete stranger (X) Never Broken a bone(X) Been easily amused (X) Caught a fish then ate it(x ) Caught a butterfly(X) Laughed so hard you cried(X) Cried so hard you laughed(X) Mooned/flashed someone(x ) Had someone moon/flash you(X) Cheated on a test(X) Forgotten someone's name.(X) Slept naked(x ) French braided someone's hair( ) Rule at life ( I left this on undone because anyone who thinks they have done this is lying)

Summer days

Summer days come and go. Sometimes I wish I were young again. TO have the freedom to do as you please. No bills, no payments, no work, just freedom. A walk on the beach, hanging out with friends. Going out late saturdays nights. Do things on the spur on the moment. Time thrusts us into the future to the world of finance and responsibility. A world of seriousness and maturity. Why can't there be both? In all my efforts I try to make it so.

I laugh at life. I enjoy the world. I am a a non conformist. I do my thing. I love to be silly and giddy like a school girl. I love to be me, straight down to the core. I am who I am. I like watching movies alone sometimes. I am not afraid of this or feel I have to be with friends. I enjoy shopping with just me and only asking myself if I like what I am trying on or considering buying. I love who I am.

A new friend recently stated that I was mysterious. Many want to know what is behind those eyes, those thoughts. But getting a close look come with a price. A price of truth. True knowledge. I am honet and I will tell you my thoughts. But trust in another human being is not easy. I am sensitivie and get hurt easy. I love and cae with all I have. To have this kind of friend does not come easy.

Am I mysterious? Yes. I will not divulge all of me to someone I barely know. Not that side anyway. You see my laugh, my joy in life, my honesty, but there are many things I have been through that make me who I am today. This is true for all of us. Many people wear themselves on their sleeve only to be brushed off. Time will only unveil the mystery. Something must be kept for me.