Monday, July 25, 2022
Thursday, May 26, 2022
My Cancer Story (Updated 2022)
<3 "The idea is not to live forever but leave a Legacy that will" ~Trisha Trixie <3
Thank you for being interested in this group. This group was created to share positive and uplifting memes, quotes, images, etc with friends, family, and all or anyone who went through or is going through a Cancer Journey as well as my findings, my story, and more. <3
I hope I will be able to encourage, inspire and uplift others through my battle against this horrible adversity I have to face and that others too might have to face.
This group is also for me to be able to have a space to talk openly about cancer and other feelings associated with my now, cancer recurrence, and my KRAS mutation.
Now I'm fighting an even bigger fight. The fight against recurring cancer.
After learning in 2021 that there was nothing they could really do for me because of my mutation, I decided to live my best life, on my terms and I walked away from all conventional treatment,
Instead, I'm using TCM, alternative modalities of healing, mushroom extracts & other measures, shamanism, Native American medicine, Tibetan, Reiki, Energy, sound healing, chakra balancing, etc.
In this group, I share my research, my explorations of information, and the innermost feelings I may have.
By 2021 I decided to travel as much as I could before I can't.
<3 If you desire to follow my Cancer Wanderlust Journey, click here to follow the travels I choose in life:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/tobroadlygowanderlust <3
My Story
In 2010 I started having severe issues having bowel movements. In addition to this, my back hurt so bad I could not move many times. I was on Medicaid and living in Des Moines, Iowa. The doctors would not listen to me and focused on my back because I have Degenerative Disk Disease (which I found out later, a vast majority of people have this issue now). They gave mt cortisone shots, lidocaine, massage, acupuncture, and so on but nothing helped. I remember days of sitting on ice packs because of those treatments.
I begged doctors in Iowa to just give me a Colonoscopy. They told me they would not and could not because my insurance would not cover such a thing. There was no family history of Colon Cancer or Colon issues so they tossed up their hands (so to speak) and did nothing.
In 2015 my spouse and I moved to Colorado. My first doctor was an old fart who would not listen to me, so I stood up for myself and I FIRED HIM! It felt so good!
By 2016, I asked for the other male doctor at the clinic. They said he was not accepting patients. I made a big fuss and he allowed me to see him. Ironically, he got his training at the University of Iowa, but lived and worked in Colorado. (The universe likes funny things I am sure of it. Coincidences especially)
Luckily, this doctor was smart enough to think of ways we could see what was going on. I remember it so vividly. Tuesday I went to see him. That day I got a Transvaginal Ultrasound. That launched into Wednesday getting a CT scan asap. Thursday I was scheduled for an Immediate Colonoscopy. As I was waking up my spouse came in to retrieve me and the doc told him to get me to the surgeon to meet him, right away. Mind you, it was 5 pm-ish at that time and we drove across town, getting there at around 6 pm-ish to the surgeon. All of this confirmed that I had cancer in my colon and it was the whole length and width of my sigmoid colon area. Since I was already prepped, only soft foods until the following Tuesday for surgery. Drank the GLUG (as I call it, that disgusting stuff to clear you out) and then I had surgery to remove my sigmoid, take some of my intestines, and make me a new colon. Luckily, I did not have to have an ostomy bag.
The following is the rest of my story...
In 2016, I was diagnosed with Stage 3b, Colon Cancer. My tumor was removed on Nov 1st, 2016, but there were Cancer cells found in my lymph nodes. Starting in January 2017, I did Chemo for SIX months last June 26th. I had horrible side effects, thrombosed hemorrhoids, Cdiff, FOUR TIMES, and had to do a fecal transplant. Neutrophils went down and were hospitalized.
In, September 2017, I had my PET SCAN and was given a clean bill of health and a week later my port was removed.
In Feb 2019, my cancer came back to my ovaries acct I had a full hysterectomy and in Sept 2019 started maintenance medication Avastin plus TCM and other natural supplements.
2020/2021: Cancer recurred fire a 3rd time to my rectal area. Near the original anastomosis. We tried surgery but they found more cancer and tests proved I have a KRAS mutation.
2021/2022: I have decided to stop conventional treatment. My quality of life is more important. It is time to live life on my terms!! I want to live my best life. Traveling, seeing friends, family, and living life the best that I can.
...I am strong. I am a fighter. I am positive. I believe in God. I have faith. I am a warrior. My father-in-law gave me an idea...to view my cancer as a chronic illness. Let me tell you, that viewpoint changed my whole outlook.
I know I am ok, but the struggle is hard and the journey has been arduous.
2022- Coming from a retreat in Sedona, Az a woman told me to stop saying "I have cancer" because that means I own it. She told me to stop owning it.
A few years ago a TCM doctor and friend asked me "Who are you without your cancer? How is it serving you? When you decide to let it go, when you decide it is no longer serving you, your life will change."
Your love and support are much appreciated.
I love you all. Always.
Xo, Trisha Trixie: Sprinkler of Fabulous
If you would like to donate to help ith out of pocket cancer costs you can thru Paypal, CAshApp, Venmo, or Patreon, Trisha Trixie(Patricia Hunter) on Paypal, CashApp, or Venmo, or as I said below...
patreon.com/mylegacyoflove
"The idea is not to live forever but leave a Legacy that will" ~Trisha Trixie
Tuesday, May 10, 2022
Purusha
In what ways do I identify and remain attached to my labels?
Who am I beyond my various labels (ie. mother, father, worker, yoga student)?
Have I caught glimpses of my True Nature? Explain.
Weekly insights & observations: coming soon
You can never go home
Thursday, March 24, 2022
This Life that I Love Is not Mine: A Loss to Suicide
This life that I love, I realize is not mine. I was gifted a place in this world. I was born into struggle and overcame it with pride. Since I was a baby, I have always had the biggest smile. I am glad that at a near 52, I still have my smile. The world has not been easy for me, but come on, let's face it, this world really hasn't been easy for any of us. We all think our life, our struggles, our issues are the ones that have the most weight or the most value. Yet we forget the value of other lives who need us.
Let us not forget to respond to those text messages we receive from someone that may seem like meaningless jabber or could be yet another text you have received from them, another question or comment, perhaps one more picture that we really could care less about...yet...who knows, that text could be the last communication you end up having with them. I never thought I would be the one to say "I lost my friend to suicide" but sadly, I am. We were texting just not that long ago. I was promoting my businesses like I always do. He responded to my email with a text. "Looks like you have some new things going on?" Then he proceeded to tell me about all of the things that were going on in his life that it seemed he was finally happy about. Little did I know those were the things weighing on his mind. He mentioned a possibility of buying some land in Arizona and I was so excited since I would be in AZ very soon and maybe we could see each other. He asked me if it was for a conference... he asked me about me and Hunepants... I didn't respond. I was busy, at an event and thought "I'll message him when I get home" but then life happened and I got busy again and I didn't get back to him. Someone else texted me, life happened again and a week or so went by until an email landed in my inbox from him but once opened it, I read...it was NOT him....for he had ended his life. I have never had "Survivor Guilt" for my cancer because I know cancer takes people away too fast and I know that is not my fault. I also have not and am not a "Survivor" since I still have Stage 4 Cancer. I will tell you however, I do have guilt for not getting back to my dear friend. I know I shouldn't. I know it's not my fault. I know all the logical reasons that go with the reality that my friend took his life far away from me and there was nothing I could do. I still feel like,"what if..." What if I just would have gotten back to him? What if I just would have picked up the phone and called him? What if, I had emailed him back or texted him back...what if? This is why being a starfish saver means so much to me. He even had said in his text "How are you my starfish?" And you know what? I didn't even notice he said that until I went back through his text looking for clues. I know I often put on a happy face but honestly, since he passed I have been up and down. I had to get out of the house this Tuesday cuz I have been feeling so sad since his passing. Then another friend shared with me that she was in a very dark place. I told her about my friend and said, "Listen, You are not alone. You do not have to go through life alone. You have me. I will never know what my other friend took his life but if there is anything and I mean ANYTHING I can do to spare yours, please let me be there for you." Of course, that sent us both into tears and after she left I cried again. I know I can't help everyone. I know sometimes people forget to answer their texts or life gets in the way, just like it did for me. I never will know truly why he took his life. Yet a week before we were chatting online and texting. Then he was gone. I knew him from years back when his life was extremely hard and so was mine. It is hard for me to fathom that his life was so much harder NOW than it was then, but the reality is, we do not know what makes people SNAP or BREAK or fall apart. I do know one thing... Far too often we look at our strong friends and think they already have plans, or they don't need anybody, or perhaps we think they are holding it together really well. Really, honestly, they are the ones that need your love the most. Far too often they are holding up so many other people that they forget to hold themselves up. My heart is still so sad and grieves more than you know for this person who was in my life, who was my friend. I don't like the fact that I do actually know someone who took their life. I can't even imagine the family or the partner how they are holding up because I am distant to all this and it is just heartbreaking to me! If I have learned anything so far from this experience it is to be there when others call, never let words go for too long unspoken, and a reminder that to one man, I was his Starfish that he saved and made a difference to me and now I get the be the Starfish Saver to others.