Vision, Dreams, Goals, Dreams,Aspirations...but wait..there's more...

Is there a point where you have compromised your vision? When you compromise your vision, you end up compromising your standards.

Do you have a clear definition of what your vision is? Your vision is what burns deeply in your heart. This burning in your heart is what drives you.

We were meant to see in us something vital. We were meant to see ourselves be incredible, amazing, and something incredible!

Has your vision of yourself, your company or your business adjusted to the darkness inside your pit? When this happens we can't see our vision, have lost sight of our vision and we end up accepting the pit. The lack of light and fresh air can lull us to sleep. Our vision dims and we lose sight of of the youth, the exuberance, the childlike innocence that allows us to think the impossible, to fear nothing, to move mountains, to think, believe in fairies and feel like we truly are a Prince or Princess!

But if you are in a pit, you can't see. Vision is lost. In the pit, there is no such thing as Dreams, Goals, Aspirations and Visions. These things are important. They matter. They help move you. They help drive you.

I have met 3 men in my life recently that finding someone to share their life with is of utmost importance. Doesn't sound wrong or bad right? No, not really but there are very few people that you will find have that same goal as a woman. It is not enough to just have the desire to find a mate.Women aren't looking for a husband or just someone to share their life with. Women are looking for A Connector. Someone they can connect to. Someone who has the same Values. Same Mottos. Same Dreams, Goals or Aspirations. At the very least someone who has ANY Dreams, Goals or Aspirations.

For me, having them is great. That is truly important to me.For me though, I would like more. I want them to want more for themself. I want them to be in active motion of reaching those Visions. I was in a conversation recently with someone about that, with two people actually and I was so aghast that they didn't have ANY of those visions for their life. Go to work, come home, maybe get a wife or someone to share their life with. I shake my head. What irony that is. How do they ever think they will find that person if they never go out of the house? How are they going to find that connector? So I learned having a single minded goal of partner is absurd to me. I was aghast, as I said.

But what I gleaned out of that were these things:

We all have a script about what others are supposed to be like, if they follow the script in our head. When others act in accordance to that script, we give them our trust. We look for traits, behaviors and ideals that match this script. We reward that by being in their life, trusting them and connecting to them.

We all have ways that motivate us. Some are motivated by an internal drive. Some are motivated by the desire to help others. Some are motivated by the desire to find a partner. Some are motivated by the desire for recognition. And then... some are simply not motivated at all.

There are many things that matter to me yes. But it clicked this week what the driving force is in my life and what motivates me.

Faith.

I do not mean that to be religious or not. Faith is believing in things hope for and not seen.

Hope.

Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.

Best.

Best is That which is the most excellent, outstanding, or desirable.

Faith, Hope, having or being the Best. This is life to me. This matters to me. Faith that things will get better. Faith in another human being. Faith in myself. Faith in life. Faith that when things are down they will get better. Hope is important because it coincides with Faith. I have not always had an easy life and the desire to believe in Hope that things will get better help me to have Faith. Being the Best, having the Best, giving the Best of me. I was trained by my mother, put in classes in youth, and every conference I have ever gone to says "Give it your all", "Be your Best" "We have the Best product."  A former partner in my life used to say from something he learned from his mother they got from old JC Penny catalogs "Good, Better, Best , may you never rest, til your god is Better and your Better is Best." Nothing ever says, "Be less than." "Sit around and do nothing" "Stay inside and never go out"

Take into each of the meanings of Faith, Hope and Best that matter to you.That is what is means to me. But I found out...that is not enough.

To me there is one more word to add...

Action

The fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim.

Having those Traits that I find desirable are good in a partner. Having Goals, Dreams and Aspirations are essential. But if you ONLY have them, it is doing you no good. You need to take action on those things. Be moving forward in life. You must seek out to PURSUE those things.

You can't move forward if you are in a pit.

What are the Dreams, Goals or Aspirations do you need to pursue? What do you need to once again pursue?What actions are you doing to move forward toward them? Because if you are not moving forward you are standing still. Life will eat you up when you stand still. Life in the pit gets you nowhere.

You should have crawled out of the pit already. If not, get out. If so, what step, in what direction, in what way are you moving forward?

It is time to take that next step away from the pit. It is time to take action.

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish To Take A Stand For?

 

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish To Take A Stand For? by Jaime Ridler Studios

The very first thing that popped into my head led me back to my youth and the songs that my momma and her family listened to. The song by Aaron TIppin came right to mind.


 You Have to Stand for Something Aaron Tippin "You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything"

...then other songs I have heard started popping in my head. Music is very powerful to me. I am aLyric Listener. Meaning I really listen to them and the lyrics REALLY jump out to me. So today I want to share the music that empoweres me when I think about Standing For Something... I hope they touch your heart as they touch mine

Stand by Rascal Flatts " Cause when push comes to shove,You taste what you're made of,You might bend, till you break,Cause its all you can take,On your knees you look up,Decide you've had enough,You get mad you get strong,Wipe your hands shake it off,Then you Stand, Then you stand"

Stand by REM "Stand in the place where you live..

Hillsong United Stand "I'll Stand with arms high and heart abandoned..."

Lead me by Sanctus Real "Father give me the strength to be everything I am supposed to be...to stand up when they can't, I'll show them I am willing to fight, then give them the best of my life...Lead me cuz I can't do this alone"

I Refuse by Josh Wilson "It is easier to Stand and watch, but I Refuse because I don't wanna live like everyone else..Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else,To do what God has called me to do myself,I could choose not to move,But I refuse"

Stand for You by Jonny Diaz "Take the chains off my lips it's time to set my tongue free,Some might just turn their heads but some will raise a fist,And You told me to stand so I won't back down from this, I'll stand for truth, I'll stand for you"


I Stand by Idina Menzel (Elphaba in Wicked on Braodway) This one really moves me and empowers me and means a lot to me. I leave you with the lyrics to this one. May it touch your soul as many of you have touched mine. ..

When you ask me, who I am:
What is my vision? And do I have a plan?
Where is my strength? Have I nothing to say?
I hear the words in my head, but I push them away.

'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.

And I don't know
What tomorrow brings
The road less traveled
Will it set us free?
Cause we are taking it slow,
These tiny legacies.
I don't try and change the world;
But what will you make of me?

'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.

With the slightest of breezes
We fall just like leaves
As the rain washes us from the ground
We forget who we are
We can't see in the dark
And we quickly get lost in the crowd

'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway. 

Spending Time in The Pit

How do you know you are in the Pit?

You feel stuck
You can't get yourself out
You can't stand up against your enemy

David's Pit was "slimy, muddy and mirry" (Psalm 40:2)
Jeremiah "sank down" in his (Jeremiah 38:6)

A pit is what Satan digs for you in hopes he can bury you alive.

You know you are in a pit when:

You have lost your vision. Why is this? Because the pit has no windows. Think about it. When I read that in my devotional I drew a pit and wrote "Where are the windows?"

In darkness we can't see things that were once obvious to us. We can't see the things that might be right in front of our faces.



When we are enclosed in this pit the close confinement can exhaust us with "an endless echo of self-absorption." Since we can't see out, we look inside. "Nearsightedness breeds Hopelessness"

You need to know something. Are you listening? This is important so listen up. But most of all BELIEVE. Believe what I am about to tell you because if you don't believe, then this is going to be on deaf ears and eyes. Please, open your heart and believe that...

You don't have to stay in your Pit.
You're pit has become too comfortable or familiar.
Learn what it is you like about your pit.
Accept that you deserve better.
Give yourself something better.

For me, reading about the Pit and I  have really opened my eyes. I cant believe that I have grown this accustomed to it. I can't believe that I felt safe in my pit. That I accept it just because it is what I know now.

The painful CAN get comfortable. It can get familiar. It can be acceptable.

Well, accept that pit no more. You were not meant to live in a pit.

Start looking around you. Make a window in your pit if you have to so you can see out. Make a new home that is far away from that pit as possible. One you are standing outside the pit and looking down in it I think you will say as I am starting to say "Wow, I can't believe I was in there for so long. Wow I can't believe I thought that disgusting thing was OK. "

Currently I am like you. I am just now realizing I have been in the Pit. But now I am standing on the edge of the Pit. I am looking down into that muddiness and dirt and filth and am amazed at myself.I am better than that. You are better than that.

I refuse to spend time in the Pit anymore.

Let's seek out this world and see what it has to offer...It's ok. I know you are scared. I am too. But I am here friend. God is here. There is a hand outstretched to you. It is up to you to take it.

The Pit

I have always been taught to look up in life. I was trained that in life you take the good with the bad.
I was told continually that everything happens for a reason.
So when in life I have been down, felt I was going in circles, felt like I was stuck in a rut or down in a pit, well I do my best to just chaulk it up to life and accept it.

Until now.

Today in my brand new devotional journal, Looking Up by Beth Moore, I found at the Hope Lutheran Bookstore I was reading and today's lesson pretty much told me to knock it off.

"Maybe your noble trying to make the most of your pit. You keep wondering why you aren't satisfied there, why you aren't mature enough to be content? Has it occurred to you that you are not supposed to be content?"

"Maybe you should be thankful you're not content. Some things weren't meant to be accepted. A pit is one of them. Quit trying to make the best of it. It's time to get out."

"...think outside the pit, accept the truth that God doesn't want you in there any longer"

I know accept that truth. A new truth for me from my Truthteller that came through a different messenger. A book, but not just any book. Those who might remember, I have been looking for Just the Right Devotional Journal book.

Last week I went to church when I haven't gone in awhile. I have been feeling lately that things haven't changed much for me in the past few years. I have been feeling like I was in a pit that I couldn't or shouldn't get out. I thought maybe I just needed to accept my plight.

Not anymore. I accept that I don't need to be in the pit anymore. I accept that I don't need to figure out why I am here or deal with it or be mature about beig in it.

I have had the answer the whole time. I am a think outside the box type person. So all I need to do is Think outside the Pit?!?! Ok I'll get right on it right now.

I will not be content in my pit any longer! I believe God and I can and will get out this pit together. God is my strength and he will help lead me to a place of contentment.

Psalm 31:3

Goodbye Pit. I release you of surrounding me. I no longer need you or want you. I break free of you. I choose not to be in a pit anymore.

Hello Life, I would like a wonderful, happy, successful life, financially stable, relationship happy, and only good and positive allowed in my life from now on.

Oh and by the way, no pits!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iTouch

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to know?

 Riddle Me This....

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to know?

Everything.

It is really funny this questions is asked.

I hate the unknowing.

I want to know it all. When are we going? Where are we going? When are you getting here? What do you mean you don't know? Why don't you know? And so on...

But life has turned the tables on me lately and I have been faced with many challenges. On top of that I have been given new insight to knowing and not knowing. I have been given new insight on hwo other people feel because God has put me in their shoes and now I get it.

I have become more comfortable with the Unknowing. I would like a better answer than  "I don't know" but i am now ok with that response. I mean if you don't know you don't know, right? You can't answer what you don't know. So, stop asking me. :)

I also learned recently about Altered Responses from The Meyvn Group An Altered Response is telling someone what they want to hear, not what is true.

How many of us do that to others so they think they are gaining knowledge but really we are withholding knowledge from them because we either don't want to share the truth, are concerned with the consequences or for other factors? When you think about this, then Knowing can raise questions. I wonder now, is the person telling me that because that is what they THINK I want to hear or is that really the truth? is it worth it to prod if I am only going to receive an Altered Response? I think not.

A former roommate told me "Don't ask unless you want to know the answer." I thought, well, that is silly of course I want to know or I wouldn't have asked. Think again. It's the Be Careful what you wish for mentality. I learned, sometimes I really didn't want to know. Especially if I get the REAL response not the Altered one. That can bite, hurt, sting or suck big rocks.

So this week when thinking about Jaime's question "What do you wish to know?" Make sure you really want to know it, are ready for the answer, and be prepared for a possible altered response.

As for others like me who want to know EVERYTHING, I wish that you will come to an acceptance of the Unknowing as well as the Knowing. :)

My Week

The last few weeks have been slightly rough for me. I know where I want to go in life. I know the direction I desires but I feel like it is just out of my grasp and I can't reach it. On top of that things have been a bit turbulent.

My kids called to harass me at Easter and call me names. Tell me how I have never been there for them and how I am abandoning them. My younger son is not happy because I am making him responsible for his life and I took back a computer I bought him. He has already trashed me on FB, called m 27 times in a row in 2 minutes and told me to F off. then he lied and said I threatened him which I didn't. In my motherly worry I called to make sure he was ok because someone threatened him only for him to yell and scream at me and not answer me about who threatened him so I assume it was a manipulative ploy. My other son got in the middle, believed him not me and I had to disown both of them for the time being. Gee, and people wonder why I don't want anymore kids. Hmm, seriously??? they say it would be different because this time I would get to raise them, blah blah, but honestly, I just want to live my life. I would consider Boys and Girls Club of America or being a Foster Parent perhaps but no thanks. I don't want anymore of my own. I have been walked on enough thanks.

My roommate decided that all of sudden now is when I need to start paying him back for help I have received in the past. I knew eventually the tension of me being here would wear thin and he stated for him it has. I am on unemployment, have no funding yet for my Non-Profit, and really have no where else to go. I went and stayed with a friend for a night and her and her spouse ended up arguing about the neighbors and I got in the middle and then he was mad at me. Lesson learned, stay out of other people's fights. :)

We had to close the Homeless Outreach for the All Day location because we had Fire Threats, Theft and issues that we were not legally ready for. Then on our last day a homeless gal fell over in faint and we couldn't wake her to talk to us so we had to call the Ambulance. Come to find out later she had high blood pressure and needs medicine. One more thing we were unaware of and need to get things in order. That day as well someone shaved themselves in the bathroom and clogged the sink without even thinking or using common sense to know not to do such a thing. I shook my head at it all, walked into my office and burst into tears. My office mate fully understood and was sympathetic because the Outreach has been quite an overwhelming task for us both and we had enough. The Director has to make the decision to have that part open or not, and that decision will base on how I move forward with my Homeless NP.

Then on Friday I was supposed to go out to a fancy dinner. The guy talked it up, made it sound so nice and because I knew him and he was a friend of my friend, I thought why not. Well, I should have thought, why would I. I knew he was arrogant and thinks high of himself but Mr.Douchebagtoolbox really took the cake. I always arrive a bit early so I was at the place a bit before 7 pm. While I am standing there I see two people I do business with in town. the hostess said the name was on the list so I waited. At 7:15 I tried to text the guy. Nothing. At 7:30pm I tried to call. No answer. I went back to the front and they said they told me the wrong name but there was no one by that name on reservation. I went outside and called his friend and his friend Mr.BumbleBeeMan  was livid. he couldn't beleive his buddy did that, but even more so to me. I called Mr. Douchebagtoolbox and told him I hope he had fun standing me up and he won't even get another chance because I am fabulous and he is the one who missed out. I also said, I am not like any girl and you didn't break me so I hope it was good for you. I ended with "You're a tool"

Well, you add up my week, then that I was at my wit's end. I drove over to BB and DSW and was going to shop but saw Archiver's out of the corner of my eye. Mod Podging sounded much more appealing than just buying a pair of shoes. I called a friend who kind owed me money and was hoping to go have dinner there but he already had plans too. Poo. I left Archiver's went home, walked by my roommate without saying a word and slammed my door.

I ended up in tears in my closet with Soul Restoration music on. I wrote to my Brave Girls on FB and reached out like Melody taught me too. It helped a bit hearing good words from my Tribe of BG but the issues are still there. My life is not where I want at 41. I have to rely on others for financial support and my unemployment is almost out. then this week I found out the 3 contracts I was up for all went by by so I am back to square one.

Sigh. I reached out to Dionne the Tea Priestess for help with my Sigh, but I can't afford her either. i keep reading my Goddess Guidebook and my fellow wishcasters form Ridler Studios and doing all I can.

Saturday I knew the date wouldn't stand me up because it was more on the level of two friends getting together than a date, but I wasn't really sure. We talked in the day and me over in Ames since I was going to the Barn Dance anyway. I also was giving one of the homeless people a ride there so they could see their new baby. At least I had someone to talk to.

I had a nice time Saturday night and it was confirmed it was a friendly date. I told him about my blog and how I name everyone. He gave himself this name of Mr. Potatohead because he has prosthetic ears. We cracked up about that. He told me I had a big heart and that made me smile. We aren't compatible because  we both have two many deal breakers of each other.  I am not Catholic, I don't want kids and he isn't Protestant and wants kids. :)

I wasn't really looking for that anyway since I knew it was more of a friendly date, but it was good to reconfirm. We do have a lot in common since he has a NP and so do I. I tire of the dating scene already because it isn't what I really want but what I really want is not attainable. I guess that is life huh?

So that is my week. Crazy, huh?

Hope you all have  a less crazy week than me.

Like Minded Bloggers

I was visiting other Wishcasters from Wishcaster Wednesday and I was intrigued and amazed at how many other people have similar style, taste and attitude as me. I was also surprised at how many other bloggers attend the same workshops, e-camps, and courses I do, as well as how many have badges from the same sites I have badges from.

Right Brainers

Goddess Guide

Art a Day Journal

Wishcasting

Sparkles

etc...

...the list could go on...

I was also amazed at how many people were doing the Artist's Way. For me this is my third go around. I first did it when I was young, then as a twenty something, and now in my...!)@(!)(@(   ahem...anyway... :)

It was nice to see others with like minds. One of the sites asked "Join the Tribe" and I thought, I think I have already! and then I smiled. Thanks to all my fellow wish casters, blog followers and other like minded individuals.

Three Cheers for Like Minds. Let's all keep up the good work and continue to strive forward in life!

Hip Hip Hooray!
Hip Hip Hooray!
Hip Hip Hooray!

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Focus On?

I wish to Focus on Me.

Maybe to some of you that sound selfish but you have to try to understand. I am a giver. I do everything for everybody, but me. I will give you the shirt off my back, I will help you in any way I can, I will do everything for you.

This time, this year, this moment, I need to Focus on Me.

I need to do things for me.
I need to trust myself.
I need to trust my Truthteller.
I need to work for me.
I need to find living for me that works for me.
I need to make myself happy.
I need to make myself sparkle.
I need to make myself shine.
I need to take care of me.

I recently have been sick. I was down for a week and not well for the week after that. I have not done much good in this matter. I am not helping others if I am not helping myself. I am starting to realize this. I am also seeing how I need to take care of myself so I CAN be there for others.

So you ask, what do I wish to focus on? I wish to focus on me.

A Circus Act in Dating

Being back in the dating world is very interesting, odd and somewhat like a Circus. Many things going on at one time, people spinning plates trying to get your attention, the bearded lady who isn't really what she appears to be, the elephant man with his deformed ways or views or sometimes appearance, and then of course the Main Event, the one who tried to be the showstopper.

I usually prefer to just go along the boardwalk and see what is out there, but inevitably I end up going home unsatisfied and disgusted at what is there. Most times now, I prefer to not even go to the Circus at all. The acts are all just that to me, ACTS! Who can dazzle me the most? Who can capture my attention? Who can be the most appalling is more like what it seems.

The most outrageous things get said to me on these dates, or otherwise implied. do guys really think a respectable female would ever go on a long trip with them, or go back to their place after the 1st date? Has our dating world really turned into this much of a Circus? It amazes me yes. I am appalled. I stand there with my mouth open and wonder if what happened really happened or did I hear it or see it wrong?

Did you really just ask me that?

I end up wondering if the women of today really are open to this type of debauchery and if so, what a horror it is and how terrifying! More scary that watching the High Flying Trapeze artists fly through the air with no net. That is how this experience is starting to turn out for me. I feel like I am flying with no net.

Who is going to be there to catch me when I fall? Who can I trust to catch me? Is there anyone? I stand leery on the edge of the platform looking over and find myself stepping backwards and going down the ladder to the safe ground. Most of these men are not only on the other side saying "It's ok, jump over" but they are also wolves in sheep's costume waiting to feed off  Little Red Riding Hood!

The safest place for me is to not even go to the Circus. I do get lured into going though because it all seems so dazzling but not when invited to go, I go because it is something to do more than it is the enjoyment of it. They all seems to have the same act and same dance and a few of them are appalling, but in the end, I just want to sit at home with someone else and watch it from my TV and when I get bored I can change the channel to hockey or something else more appealing. :)

But alas, I need to endure this outrageous circus performances for awhile because my safety net has not been put back up yet and it make take sometime before that happens. The net needs mended, maybe a few new stitches thrown in and perhaps a few different colors added to make it safe for both performers. I don't know if it truly ever will, but I beleive it will and that is all that matters to me. I am still a Trapeze Artist in Training and lately have been standing on the platform.


" A flying act, she says, is built on trust — but first, each artist needs individual strength and training." (NPR Trust and Training) "Their life literally is in each other's hands,", "so if they don't trust each other, we have a big problem."

Trapeze Artists say the trust they've developed comes from talking to each other a lot whether they're on the ground or "up there." Trapeze Artist Shapin explains, "We always speak. We have fun, [tell] jokes. Sometimes if I have [a] good song, I give it to him and we're singing together, even when we're up there."

Trapeze Artists calls the time they spend at the highest point of the big top "privileged."

One day I will be PRIVILEGED to fly again...until then I guess it is Circus Time....

Back to Non-Conformity-Here's to the Waves!

As some of you may know I am an avid follower of the Art of Non-Conformity. In the recent newsletter I read something that sparked this post I wanted to share with you. Being a Non-Conformist is not easy as I have said before. In his newsletter Chris said he was referring to someone he was talking to at a concert for Ani di Franco...

"Later I heard from someone who said she didn't understand why so many people were interested in this movement. I've been doing these things for years on my own! she said.

I said that's great... if you have never had a family who doesn't understand, or experienced other people making plans for you, or been pressured to do something that would put your dreams on hold, good for you. You are the fortunate exception. (And if that's really the case, I also think you should raise the stakes a little, because where much is given, much is required.)

For most of us, non-conformity isn't something we make a single choice for or against. It's a process of adjusting our life, learning to be comfortable with change, and understanding that we probably have more opportunities than we initially think."

The majority of my friends and family don't get it. They don't understand why I keep coming up with ideas and buying licenses for business and trying so hard to be an Entrepreneur. They don't get why I don't just "work for the man" and go to work every day like a "normal" person. Well, the short end of it, is I am not NORMAL. :)

I am not ready to give up yet. yes , I said YET. I recognize that I am getting worn down. I am starting to feel the effects of trying and failing taking it's toll on me. but I was successful once. I felt it. I lived it. I feel like I can be there again. BUT my definition of success has changed. now I beleive in following my passion and if you follow that passion, the true success will follow. people will desire to help you, money will flow in as needed.

The other line Chris said on his blog was "Ani has the technique and the skills to go along with the passion—but if you can only have one, I think it’s better to choose the passion. Other things will come along later, but passion is hard to fake. And that's why we need people like you, who find their own way to offer something of their own that is bold, passionate, and inspiring for the rest of us."

I fully agree. Many people who meet me and get to know me say I am a passionate person. It is "in me". I think it was instilled in me as a child and it never left. Chris is right. You can't fake passion. I think that is like Drive.

Drive and Passion. 

Either you have them or you don't. I don't think they are teachable. I don't think you can train someone to have them. The person either has them or they don't. It is as simple as that. I do think sometime you can get people to the AHA moment when they realize their passion or realize their potential and then start driving. But it was always in them. They just didn't see it in that case.

I have that passion. I have that drive. For now, I refuse to conform. I am going to "keep on keeping on".

Another blog I follow is called Working for Good. In this Ketith mentions the journey and how sometimes we crash and fall and how we jsut have to get up again.

"As I reflect on my journey through this year, and on the entrepreneurial journey in general, I recognize these moments of heading towards a nose-dive and, essentially without thought, adjusting to catch a wave – moving into flow.Sometimes we crash and have to get up again (another powerful practice with its own value and beauty), but there is something profound about the mind/body’s ability to adjust to facilitate our ongoing movement, growth, and development.
Here’s to the waves!"

Here's to the Waves. The waves of Non-Conformity! The waves of Entrepreneurship! The waves of being myself! The waves of standing up for what I beleive in! The waves of believing in my Truths! The waves of following the Truths! The waves of  going for it!

I agree. Here's to the Waves! CHEERS!

I love to _____ and I rock at it!

My Sparkles course asked us to write some things down that we love and rock at so here goes...


I love to sing and I rock at it!
I love to draw and I rock at it!
I love to collage and I rock at it!
I love to smile and I rock at it!
I love to be happy and I rock at it!
I love to giggle and I rock at it!
I love to dance and I rock at it!
I love to be pretty and I rock at it!
I love to watch tv and hulu and I rock at it!
I love to give to others and I rock at it!
I love to kiss and I rock at it!
I love to hug and I rock at it!
I love to send air kisses and I rock at it!  
I love to read comics and I rock at it!
I love to dress up and I rock at it!
I love to look hot and I rock at it!   
I love to watch movies and I rock at it!
I love to network and I rock at it!
I love to talk to others and I rock at it!   
I love to be passionate and I rock at it! 
I love to live life and I rock at it!        

So there you go. there is my Love and Rock list. What do you love to do and rock at?

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨Trisha Sparkles ✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨

Recently I have been sick. I don't know if I overdid it, I caught something or what happened. I love how everyone asks you "How did you get sick?" like I should just know how it happened. Hi, I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV.

Kewlest thing ever happened to me this week and no, I was not hallucinating. My friends showed up. not literally like at my door or anything, but they showed up in my texts, on the phone in my emails and people gave me help, encouragement and a drive to get better.

I had people sending me texts like "Get better, people need you" and " You lost your shinyness and we need it back, get better so you can shine again!" I got Facebook message like "I missed your sparkles"

My number one goal in life is to Make a Positive Difference in the Lives of Others and in the song When I Leave by JJ Heller she speaks of a leaving a Fragrance behind. I so much desire to do this. I want to save the world. I want to make a difference. I want to help another if I can.

I do love life. I love to smile. I love to shine. I love to sprinkle fairy dust wherever I go. I love to be silly. I love to sparkle! Most of all, I love that my friends not only let me, but ENCOURAGE me to do so. that makes me so happy. That makes my HEART smile.

To me, positive encouraging word likes this, are the best medicine of all. So to all who are there to life me up when I have migraines, to comfort me when I am down, to give me advice when I need it, and to be there when I "the energizer bunny" actually runs out of batteries and needs to recharge....I say thank you.

And, in true Trisha fashion I send you AIR KISSES MUAH MUAH and Sparkles All Around!!

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨Trisha Sparkles ✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨
✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨Trisha Sparkles ✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨
✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨Trisha Sparkles ✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨
✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨Trisha Sparkles ✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨
✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨Trisha Sparkles ✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨

GUYS

In this circle and cycle of dating I am learning quite a lot. The funniest and most intriguing thing of all is that guys are all the same. Most unusual dates and interesting dates were the ones from my Speed Dating results-

Mr. IntheNavyNow told me right off his whole family lives with him, which is far to reminiscent of Mr. Artist. Though, I did enjoy the time Navy guy and I talked I think I enjoyed the friendship more than anything else and how do you tell a guy that? I had a great time, but I just want to take your daughter to Wicked and have fun hanging out as friends with you? Hmm, yeah, don't think there is a way to approach that one.

Mr. RealEstate invied me back to his house on a first date to and I quote "watch movies". Yeah right.When I stated I am not that kind of girl, he hasn't called me since.

Mr. Pointer, was able to point out everything he saw wrong in me yet not see why his fiance canceled the wedding 10 days before they were supposed to be married.

and I didn't even give the other ones a chance because after those guys, I saw no point...reality had thus set in.

I did think it was funny however that the guy who set his beer down DURING speed dating and didn't even hardly talk to me put me as a YES and expected me to reciprocate. Dude, come one really?!? You only had 6 minutes to talk to me and you chose to go pee. What was worst, is I was the last female so after my 6 minutes, he could've gone. Uh, no thanks.

And then the Professor from Ames who informed me he didn't need to go out because he had Netflix also requested to see me. Hmm, No thanks, I'll pass.

Moving on...this...this is what I have to look forward to? I am starting to see things in a different light now. I thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. I think I am now seeing, it is just different.

When I was in a relationship I had tons of guys telling me "I wouldn't treat you that way." or "I would be different" but I have come to find out that those things are just untruths told to you to pull you away from the man you are with. Once you are away, reality sheds light differently.

Some men will disagree and say that is the difference between the men and the boys. Hmm I beg to differ.

I choose to now lump you all into one category : GUYS

All GUYS are immature sometimes.

All GUYS just don't get what women are trying to say sometimes.

All GUYS think about sex more than they think about other things, some just admit it more than others.

All GUYS find their family important and find it difficult to draw the line of distinction at some point in time or the other.

All GUYS are pigs, eventually.

All GUYS are pretty much the same.

So, an old friend said to me recently that maybe I find 9 out of 10 of what I want and go with that. This is a debacle to me. Is that settling then? I am still trying to figure out what really makes me happy. Is being with someone and not being fulfilled in life worth it? Perhaps being fulfilled in life and being far away from someone is ok? But then I feel lost and forlorn. Maybe it is the someone who cares for you and takes care of you and does everything for you? Though that can get old, one can feel smothered in that environment and like you can't breathe.

I go back to what my mother said, I am 40, I am probably going through my mid life crisis. I am trying to figure it all out. That could be true. But what scares me is what if the end of the world really is near? What is my life were near the end? Deciding who I want to be with is the hardest task of all.

Cuz, if all GUYS are the same...who do I choose if any at all?

My Destiny-H4H

I feel like I am finally doing what God intended me to do :) Heroes4theHomeless www.heroes4thehomeless.org

The song says I didn't stop. I didn't give up. I never lost hope. It is a dream come true. It's funny how different life turned out to be.

I feel that way. It is funny how different life turned out to be. I started this year thinking I was going to do more with my Social Media business but nothing has really progressed in that venture and things really have not moved in that direction. I didn't really know why. But now I do. god had different plans for me. Isn't that usually the case?

Now, I am finally doing my Destiny. Since I started this project back in 2007 under the Des Moines Jaycees it meant a lot to me.  My second ex-spouse and I had struggled previously and we had suffered. In the past I had lived in my car, joined  a gym so I could take shower, parked at Walmart in our SUV or at a grocery store that was open all night so we would be able to use the bathroom if needed, or we parked near restaurant that were open all night as well for that and for food. I have scrimped off food stamps when I was younger with my first husband and after I left him I lived out of my Chevy Nova. Sadly I have been homeless a few times and I know how fast one's life can turn from rose to beets in a  heartbeat.

If you think you are exempt from it, think again. You are on to two paychecks away from being homeless yourself. You are one earthquake or one fire in your home from losing it all. You are one divorce if things were to go sour or one death in your family. Tragedy happens when you least expect and in ways you least expect it. It happens mostly when you are the ones whoa re saying "it will never happen to me." Sadly, YOU are the ones it does happen to.

I used to be in charge of our Emergency Preparedness in our church so my second husband and I were able to survive for months on the food storage we had, the water saved up and the items we learned to store. It taught me how to provide for myself but it also gave me an understanding of how to provide for others. It taught me how to ask for donations and how to take care of another.

With that skill my brain started thinking of Heroes4theHomeless. It only started as a little project but it grew and grew. When I moved to Omaha and I took it to the Omaha Jaycees it grew so big I had to divide up my donations between shelters and missions because I had so much. I won awards for it and it became massive.

I have always felt like God, a higher power, whatever you want to call it was telling em to do more wit this. I felt like I was being groomed for helping the homeless and that the life and things I was experiencing and the connections and training I was learning about connections was leading me to this point in my life. Little by little things started falling into place. Classes I took like Right Brain Business Plan and Sparkles, Goddess Leonie and Soul Restoration all were leading me into positive and encouraging directions to leap into life and go forward toward my goals and dreams and passions. To listen deeply to the truths and what my heart what saying. my heart was saying "The homeless need you. You understand them. They connect with you. you connect with others. You can help them in ways others can't. You need to do this.You need to do this now" 

When you feel strong urges like this and don't listen I think you are really doing yourself a disservice honestly. I think you are also keeping something from someone that you could be helping and I couldn't do that to the homeless community. I have been in my office ONE WEEK this week and we have done so much in this one week it amazes me. I have only been talking to people about it for two weeks and already people are saying they have heard of me. I went home last night with another beaming smile across from face from the Director of The Center who has given me an office for free to work with them on their Homeless Outreach in conjunction with my program.

She said "These are the things Trisha has done and she has done this without funding! Could you imagine what she can do once she HAS money!?"

I couldn't help but smile. I am so grateful to God for giving me the knowledge to be able to do these things. I am grateful to God for allowing me to be homeless a few times in my life so I have empathy for the people in their current situations. I praise and thank God for granting me the connections I have and the ability and capacity to network and be who I am and be social and outgoing so I may use my talents for good and reach out into the community to be able to help the homeless to fill their needs. I am dearly thankful to God for everything he has given me up to this point and everything he will give me going forward. I know this road will not be easy, but I dearly know it will be worth it.

Why?

Because this is my Destiny. :)

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to transform?

What do I wish to Transform Jaime asks in her Wishcasting Wednesday series? I am wondering for me if it is better to ask HOW do I wish to Transform?

Immediately when I saw this I thought of Calvin and Hobbes Transmogrifier. This great device can change Calvin to be anything he wants. One of the things he desires at one point it to be just like Hobbes. But of course, that experiement does NOT quite go as planned

So he says "Thanks but no thanks", and tries again...

This of course makes me laugh but in reality is so true.

How many us go through these varied attempts at Transformation only to get exactly what we want and then be disappointed? So then we go into efforts to try it over again and then get disappointed again because it wasn't what we wanted again and again?

So, I go back to my original statement I said in the beginning that I do NOT desire of the "WHAT" do I wish to Transform but yet the "HOW" do I wish to Transform?

I wish to Transform by being me.
I wish to Transform by allowing myself freedom.
I wish to Transform by allowing myself the liberty and luxuries of life.
I wish to Transform by having a thicker skin.
I wish to Transform by being open to all walks of life and diversity.
I wish to Transform by being Softer and Stronger at the same time like I desired in Soul Restoration.
I wish to Transform by allowing my Weak Self and Strong Self to unite and understand each other.
I wish to Transform by Walking in the Light and staying out of the Darkness.
I wish to Transform by remembering the Truths and avoiding the Lies. 
I wish to Transform by Forgiving my past and Embracing my future.
I wish to Transform by being the Goddess and Princess I am. 
I wish to Transform by loving the little girl within.
I wish to Transform by owning up to the woman I am becoming. 
I wish to Transform by embracing all of myself, the good and the bad and owning up to who I am
I wish to Transform by not accepting any man who does not also find these values worthy and lofty.
I wish to Transform by having good, solid friends in my life.
I wish to Transform by following my dreams and goals.
I wish to Transform by leaping into life.
I wish to Transform by resting when I need to rest.
I wish to Transform by accepting me for me.
I wish to Transform by loving me for me.
I wish to Transform by being me.

Giving Back not Giving Up

I was recently catching up on some reading on The Art of Non-Conformity and ran across a few things that really spoke to me. Mostly the one on Giving up

It spoke to me because I do have my own business. Many people say things, "Oh that must be nice" and "OH, you work from home? So you lie around in your pajamas and sit on the computer?"

No. I do NOT do those things.

As Chris says. It is not always easy.

In my life I am the Sole Person running this ship. I currently have a Web and Social Media business, Trisha Trixie and Company and manage, run it, network it, invoice clients, and everything myself. When one is an Entrepreneur, it is not easy to maintain everything on your own.

My life is about to get even harder. I am starting a Non-Profit to help the Homeless, Heroes 4 the Homeless. It is a passion I have had for many years. I did this as a project under the Jaycees and it as successful and won awards. After taking the Soul Restoration, Right Brain Business Plan, Jaime Ridler Studios, and completing the Goddess Guidebook, I decided to jump...

LEAP...actually into this adventure.

It is not always easy. I do get burnt out. Though many people think I don't. It is tough being the only one on the totem pole. If I ain't doing, nobody is. if I ain't talking about my business, no one else is. If I am not networking, no one else is.

But just like Chris I realized a few things like he did.

• I will keep going
• I could have chosen to work for someone else, but I hated it, it didn't suit me and I was miserable
• I chose this life and this path and this road of being an entrepreneur, having my own business and starting my own NP
• All it takes is "one thing" to make it all worth while
• I find that "one thing" every single day
• Someday those THINGS are better than others...

Tonight...that thing was recognition.

I have been around Social Media for years and it took me forever to get my name out there and then I had a Trademark Infringement and had to start over. Believe me, hold onto your business names and do things right the first time. The cost in the beginning is worth it in the end. Name recognition is HUGE when you own your own business.

Tonight it happened and I had to do all I could to control myself from squealing right there when I was talking to a the head of our chamber of Commerce and she tilted her head and said "Yes, I have heard of you. the buzz is talking."

SQUEEEEEEEEALLLLLLLLL!

That was so awesome! Words on this blog could not even fathom to describe how elated I felt. I have only been talking to people about the Homeless NP for "TWO WEEKS" and she has already heard of me and my NP and what I am doing?!? Wow! I mean Wow!

That right there...that makes it all worth it.

You know what else? When I see a smile on the face of a homeless person I have helped. When I can give them a ride or donate clothes or food to them. When I have helped another, that is what makes it worth it.

Giving back....

not Giving Up.

Wishcasting Wednesday: How do you wish to be brave?

Wishcasting Wednesday: How do you wish to be brave?
http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/wishcasting-brave

I recently took a course called Soul Restoration with a group of women who call themselves Brave Girls. It is fitting to me that you would ask this question.


The definition of Brave and it's cohorts mean A courageous person or To undergo or face courageously. Fearless emphasizes absence of fear and resolute self-possession. Courageous implies consciously rising to a specific test by drawing on a reserve of inner strength. Bold stresses readiness to meet danger or difficulty and often a tendency to seek it out. Audacious implies extreme confidence and boldness. Valiant suggests the bravery of a hero or a heroine.Valorous applies to the deeds of heroes and heroines.Plucky emphasizes spirit and heart in the face of unfavorable odds.Dauntless refers to courage that resists subjection or intimidation.Undaunted suggests persistent courage and resolve.

I wish to be Brave by being Fearless.

I wish to be Brave by being Courageous.

I wish to be Brave by being Bold.

I wish to be Brave by being Audacious.

I wish to be Brave by being Valiant.

I wish to be Brave by being Valorous.

I wish to be Brave by being Plucky.

I wish to be Brave by being Dauntless.

I wish to be Brave by being Undaunted.

I wish to be Brave by being Stronger and Softer.

I wish to be Brave by being Truthful to myself and to others.

I wish to be Brave by being me, the Real me, the Authentic Me.

~I wish to be Brave by being Brave!~

Need a Miracle...

Have you ever gotten that feeling that "All you need is a miracle?"



Sometimes that is what I think. I need a miracle to beleive in. I need a miracle to hope for. I need a miracle to be able to snap my fingers and everything will work out great. Wouldn't that be nice?

Sadly Love does not work that way.

I know you were never right
I'll admit I was never wrong
I could never make up my mind
I made it up as I went along

This is what we do..we make it up as we go along. I can plan and prepare and worry and think about the future, or I can relax and let it happen.

I never had any time
And I never had any call
But I went out of my way just to hurt you,
The one I shouldn't hurt at all

We often hurt the ones we love. We often hurt the ones closest to us. They are the ones we shouldn't hurt at all. But instead we push them away. We are mean to them. We say cruel things. We fight with them about things that in the end, really don't matter at all.

I thought I was being cool
Yeah, I thought I was being strong
But it's always the same old story
You never know what you've got 'til it's gone

We play tough. We play strong. And sometimes we are. Sometimes we are think we are being strong and tough, but inside we are weak and frail. We do everything we can to hold onto our truths and beliefs. But the ending is the same...

You never know what you've got 'til it's gone

Maybe that knowledge is the first step. Maybe seeing what you lost makes you be a better person. Maybe seeing what you want makes you a better person. Maybe going after it is what matters. Maybe changing your life and finally seeing the things wrong in your life to get the Miracle you desire is what is needed. Maybe BEING the Miracle is the answer.

This is where I beleive.

The definition of "Crazy" is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Continuing to do that makes you "insane".

Are you being Crazy? Are you expecting something different in your life but you have done nothing to change it? Are you making strides to change it? Are you willing to open your mind to others views about yourself and perhaps the changes you need to make? Are you willing to see yourself through a different lens?

I am not crazy.I change too often. I am not afraid to flip the switch on the track and allow my path to go a different way. I am learning to see myself through another lens.

While I am doing this...while I am growing and changing and trying new and different things that scare the hell outta me...I still have hope...I still beleive in Miracles..

I can't do anything about another...but I can pray and hope for things unseen...I can beleive in Miracles...that's all I can do...

I beleive in Miracles

Miracles Happen for Those Who Believe


But in the end I have to realize...

God is in Control and the Miracles we receive may not be the same ones we seek after..

Are you the Miracle? Are you waiting for one?

I desire to be both...I can be the miracle for others...while waiting for my miracle to happen...

I still beleive...do you? What are doing today to make it happen?

Be the Miracle!

Being a Woman

A few weeks ago I found this amazing book on "The Family of Woman" and the images and quotes really touched my heart. I have been wanting to share it with you. I would like to share it with you today...I connected so much with these images and you will see by my images added why...

Women care about Beauty...but there is more than Beauty on the outside that matters. I have heard from many men and even recently that Beauty runs inside a woman. An attractive woman can be beautiful on the outside, but if she has inner beauty she is more beautiful that any outward appearance.

Some Women care about shoes...shoes are a representation to me of how I stand, how I walk, how I carry myself. If I am wearing boots, I have two kinds, one comfy that says...relax, chill out and my high heeled boots make me feel like I can conquer anything. I love my pumps and heels because I feel glamorous and it brings back to mind the days of when I modeled. But even more so, shoes say how a woman feels about herself. Shoes can say, I feel down and dingy or I feel strong and powerful.

Speaking of modeling...many think modeling is a bunch of women standing around or flaunting themselves. Quite the contrary. Did you know it takes great courage, being fearless and secure in oneself to get up on a stage and show yourself to others?

Some women have friends they can call at anytime. Some women have no one. I have not always been one to get along well with other women in my life. I rarely connect with another woman and if I do, it seems short lived. I have found a select few that I feel do their best to get along with me and I them. This is my dear friend Tami. I love her to death. She always hugs people like this in pics. It makes me smile. She taught me how to smile sexy in a pic and she also taught me how to enjoy the journey. She has jumped out of a plane a few times, she was the President of an organization, she is fearless. I feel like she is an inspiration to me. I have a couple other female friends and of course a few guys friends who I feel like I could count on. But, female friends for me are the hardest to connect with. I am thankful for Tami, Bridget, Val and Vicki, Melissa, many others too long to mention and my longest female friend I have ever had... Cinn (she accepted me when I was still growing, she accepted me during my journeys, she accepts me still today)

Cinn

Tami and Me

And then...there are my Brave Girls...this picture emulates how I feel about my Brave Girl friends. These girls all look like they are banding together and whatever it is they are talking about, a boy, a heartache, problems at work, or home, or anything that is disrupting their pal, their friend, it is like they are all saying "No, they didn't! Ok girls, here's is what we are going to do..."

To have found friends like these...Priceless...

Being a Woman is not as easy as it seems. The ending page to me says it all..

"Before anything else, you are a daughter, a wife, a mother...no, before all else...I am a human being, just as you are..."

What's in a name?

My mother is a Spiritualist. I grew up with candles, crystal balls, and Tarot Cards. I grew up with a belief in things not many other people understood or fathomed. Part of this knowledge was Numerology. The number in your name meaning something. Each name has a different context, connotation and connection as well. When we shorten the names our family gave us we then become a different person. Not just to others, but to ourselves as well. WE are no longer our mother's daughter or father's son. We break away from the pack and become into our own.

I remember growing up everyone called me Patty. It was who I was and what I knew. We had a friend in the family who was older and she also was Patty. She was Big Patty and i was Little Patty. I doubt as she got older she liked being called "Big Patty" but yet to this day she goes by Patty. I think if that name like Baby said in Dirty Dancing.

"Everyone called me Baby and it didn't occur to me to mind" Everyone called me Patty and I felt the same. But as I got older and moved to California, I didn't feel like Patty really suited me. Somewhere around my teen years I asked to be called Trisha by my friends or Patricia. In high school this is how most of my friends knew me.

One select friend Mr.PIP Guy was teasing me about nicknames. He said "I know I'll call you Scooter!" considering he was two years older and I had the biggest crush on him, I did not however agree to being called "Scooter". We settled on Pat and the name stuck. With the exception of one of my other friends I was in Young Single Adults with, her and her family call me Pat. And Mr. PIP calls me Pat. But Pat also is a different entity and only shown to those select few.

My nieces and nephews all called me Aunt Patty and as time went on I began to really hate that name. When I had gone through counseling and brought up the past to heal I learned how much that name stung in my side because of my past occurrences with others who used that name. It made me feel like a 12 year child, helpless and unable to function.

I reached out to family and friends when I could or when Patty was mentioned and asked if they would stop calling me that. It has taken some work, but for the most part I am now called Trisha, Trish, or Aunt Trish. Ah, yes, much better sounding now. Now I smile when you call my name. Now I want to be called that.

Trisha is fun. Trisha lives life. Trisha doesn't let anyone stop her. Trisha is bold, daring and unafraid. I like Trisha. I am her. To everyone now I introduce myself as Trisha. I even now have on my business cards Trisha. It is me. I becomes me.

Through my travels and journeys in life I have been given nicknames. For me these nicknames stated who I was at the time and though some have left me, others remain. But because I have been challenged recently about being a Princess so much lately, it has really made me think. Not just one friend or one person, but for the past year I have been challenged as to why I go by Princes. Where did that come from? Why do I use that? What am I saying about myself?

A few years back a Graphic Designer friend in 2007 and others who knew me when I owned Webit, Inc, my corporation out of Las Vegas, used to call me Rockstar Trisha! They said I lived the life of a Rockstar. they said I was a Rockstar because I could get things done. They said I am Rockstar Trisha because I did what I wanted and expected others to follow. They said I was near Diva, but better because I was kind and still give you the shirt off my back, but I take no prisoners or crap! :)

I then owned this name. I did feel like a RockStar. I had a thriving and successful corporation. I was able to provide my children without thought. I had employees, I traveled, I paid myself a good salary. I was living the high life and the bathrooms out of the hotels I stayed in, you could have played baseball in. I even remember one time texting a picture to my oldest niece MS. VideoGirl about it and she quickly sent back "HELL YA! Go Aunt Trish!"

But, all of that faded. My life was not exactly what it looked like on the outside. Underneath it was a fight, a battle. My ex and I were separated for two years and I decided to get a divorce. I was tired of fighting with him and taking care of his irresponsibilities. The business began to crumble and I with it.

I lost the inner Rockstar and became broken and unwhole. I was searching for something I just wasn't sure what...happiness...true love...life?? I was getting my feet back together as much as I could. But I was keeping my head above water in the sea of life. I was far from a Rockstar and did not want anything to do with that name.

I met a man and followed him to his world and entered his life. I picked myself up off the ground and showed him my true colors. he helped me see things I could not see about who I was and the issues and insecurities I had. After some time I found solace in a friend named Sara. She was my counselor. She was the only person I could be whole and true and real with. I grew and become my own again.

But who was I? A long, long time ago in a land far away called Belmont Shores there was a girl named Trixie. She was strong and beautiful and lived life to the fullest. She was unafraid. She was fearless. She was not afraid to be herself. I remembered her. I realized I was becoming her again.

Trisha Trixie came out of needing a Twitter handle and my real name was taken. I took on TrishaTrixie as a persona and with Social Media on the rise, it became me. fun, flirty, giggly Trisha Trixie.

But the funny thing is...we do not truly become the nicknames that we are unless we own them and keep them. In discussing with other friends about the names a few good friends all said the same thing without even realizing the other was saying it. When too many people say the same thing and don't even know each other...well, it is time to listen. They said "I don't think you are any of those nicknames. I think you are you. You are real. You are unafraid to be anyone but you. you are fearless and not concerned with standing out in the crowd.You live life to the fullest. You are kind and caring. you give people the shirt off your back. You want to change the world. You want to make a difference. You are phenomenal and amazing jsut by being you."

Who am I? I am me. I am Trisha.