As Days Go By: 2011

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Goddess Guidance Gearing Up

So if you haven't been watching, haven't been reading or haven't been looking you haven't been paying attention you do NOT know that I am gearing up for Goddess Leonie Goddess Circle. I signed up for the Circle, I have downloaded the Guidebook for 2012 and I signed up for The Radiant Circle starting in January.

To get ready for 2012 I got out my markers and started in on my Guidebook...

The first thing I needed to hear came right to me... Everything will be ok.

I put next to it the Books I wanted to read and the places I wanted to go from last year since most of that had not changed.

Books:

Right Brain Business Plan (I about about halfway and I want to finish it.)
Peace from Broken Pieces (over halfway)
Poke the Box (Almost done with it)

Places I want to go:

Hawaii and Greece. Someday I want to get married in one of those places.
Alaska
Ireland, Canada
Holland
Corpus Christi
Maryland
France

I also downloaded The Complete Compendium of Everything Domestic Goddesses Need to Know!

A few things reached out and grabbed me:

You are safe to be who you are.
Do what makes your heart sing
Let your heart sing.
But most of all- Let Go of the Need for Imperfection- Embrace who you and your family are & what you are truly needing.

Let Go of the Need for Imperfection

I started the pages about releasing 2011by listing what I was proud of myself for... like getting a new car
what I want to release & let go of my feelings of inadequacy, co dependency, loneliness, fear ; lessons I learned in 2011 and what dreams came true during 2011; how I was transformed by E- courses and The Declaration of You...

The incredible thing I discovered about myself in 2011 was I am inadequate, co dependent and I am not sure if I really can live without someone in my life...

But most of all how 2011 led me to Goddess Leonie. :)

My page of gratitude is for my

E- Courses
Artwork I learned to create
My SUV
My business
My friends and family

I want to Invoke PEACE, I want to feel PEACE, I want to give myself PEACE in 2012

In the midst of filling this out I was watching How I Met Your Mother and a quote jumped out at me and made me feel like what it was saying was possibly true. so I wrote it in my book..

"I haven't had the end of my Love Story yet, my perfect Love Story is still out there wait for me..."

I am deeming 2012 PROJECT TRISHA

If I had 5 lives these are what they would be...

My Motto: Escape Velocity

My Creative Goals

I started my Etsy Site. Now 3 more to go.


What I want to learn in 2012: PEACE Teachers I want in my Life: Goddess Leonie

Peace is a state of harmony characterized by the lack of violent conflict. Commonly understood as the absence of hostility, peace also suggests the existence of healthy or newly healed interpersonal or international relationships, prosperity in matters of social or economic welfare, the establishment of equality, and a working political order that serves the true interests of all.

Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of being mentally and spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress. Being "at peace" is considered by many to be healthy homeostasis and the opposite of being stressed or anxious. Peace of mind is generally associated with bliss and happiness.

Peace of mind, serenity, and calmness are descriptions of a disposition free from the effects of stress. In some cultures, inner peace is considered a state of consciousness or enlightenment that may be cultivated by various forms of training, such as prayer, meditation, t'ai chi ch'uan (太极拳, tàijíquán) or yoga, for example. Many spiritual practices refer to this peace as an experience of knowing oneself. Finding inner peace is often associated with traditions such as Buddhism and Hinduism. Inner peace is also well known as the first of four concepts to living life in the acronym PLUR.

Peace Love Unity Respect PLUR

Peace – Hostility typically serves no purpose other than to defend an ego that is lacking inner peace. It is a common belief among the rave culture that violence is never the answer.
Love – Acts and feelings of goodwill towards all others. The exchange of gestures such as hugging can be seen in immense amounts at any rave; this being a way of "spreading the love."
Unity – We are all united in the human condition.
Respect – A person must show regard for the feelings of others through their actions and inaction, and one must have respect for oneself and environment.

Where I want to spend my Birthday in 2012

How I spend my time and how I want to spend my time

I am planning a Facebook Break in January 2012. Google Plus, email and blogs only.

Word for the Year :PEACE

My Magnificent Mottos

Special DAys I am going to create for myself in 2012

My New Goddess Habits

In Case Of Suckies Strike

My De Suckify List

Develop a Morning Routine (using some bits from The Fly Lady.com

The Cover of my Goddess Book with the Blissbomed Manifesto on Top

Also going to add the White Hot Manifesto of Encouragement

How to Be a Goddess on back

some clips from last years Goddess Book and Calendar

This year I give myself Permission to

BE OK

Friday, December 30, 2011

How Do You Let Old Year Out and New Year In?

I was reading my All Spice Blog from a store I like to get my spices from here in Des Moines

It gave me an idea of How I was raised to let out the Old Year and made me wonder if any of you do anything to Let out the Old and Bring in The New?

Here are some from All Spice and Look Below for some from me:

Some cultures dictate that at midnight on New Year's Eve, all the doors of a house must be flung open to let the old year escape unimpeded, so that the new year can enter.

Stocking your pantry

In December, the Japanese scrub the house clean, and throw Bonenkai or "forget-the-year" parties, to "bid farewell" to the problems and concerns of the past year, and prepare for a new beginning.

The Dutch burn bonfires of Christmas trees on the street and launch fireworks. The fires are meant to purge the old and welcome the new.
Saving the best for last, there is the German tradition of Feuerzangenbowle (repeat 3 times fast after drinking one cup of it), literally translated as "flaming fire tong punch." Which is exactly what it is. The main ingredients are Rotwein, Rum, Orangen, Zitronen, Zimt und Gewürznelken (red wine, rum, oranges, lemons, cinnamon and cloves). See the following recipe for details. And hide everyone's keys before imibing in this firewater. It sneaks up on you in a warmingly good way!
Set the Stage For The New Year:
Superstition says that what you do in the first moments and hours of the New Year will set the precedent for what happens throughout the rest of the coming year. This is why you want to kiss at the stroke of midnight [preferably someone you care about]: it insures their continued affection and loyalty for the next twelve months.
The Spanish ritual on New Year's eve is to eat twelve grapes at midnight, to secure twelve months of happiness.
The Scottish celebrate Hogmanay, a rousing all-night street party to ring in the New Year.
The Scottish also have a tradition of "first-footing." Shortly after midnight on New Year's Eve, neighbors pay visits to each other and impart New Year's wishes. Traditionally, "First Foots" would bring along a gift of coal for the fire, or shortbread. It is considered especially lucky if a tall, dark, and handsome man is the first to enter your house after the new year is rung in. [To which, women everywhere say, "DUH."]

NYE Ideas from Trisha:

I would like to do a cleansing and something ritualistic. I would like to do something less metaphorical and more realistic. I would like to do something profound. The problem is I never do.

In the past I have gone to parties. Go to some bar. Hang out with friends. When I was married we watched the ball drop or hung out at a friends house and had a NYE party with them. I have had parties on a yacht, in a mansion, and at a restaurant on NYE. After I got divorced I started hanging out with single girls and hung out with them on NYE. Last year I went to a BASH NYE party with some friends and had a blast. I was originally supposed to go Chicago with some girl friends but the cost was so high and it seemed too "Single Girls" ish and I did not feel like I fit that bill. So instead I hung out with my friends in Des Moines. I had a lot of fun and really enjoyed myself. But it was still lacking and missing something, it was missing some one.

The truth is I don't want to be that single girl hanging out at the bar. I don't want to be the person who has no one to kiss at midnight. I don't want to be sitting at home watching Dick Clark and the ball drop in NYE by myself.

I WANT to be cuddled up on the couch sitting next to someone I love and care about. I want to be cracking jokes and laughing with our friends. I want to be in a relationship.

But, sigh...this year that won't be happening.

So instead of wallowing in s elf pity because my want WONT be happening I am going to do this:

A Space Clearing Ritual I am reading up on and learning about from Goddess Leonie in the Goddess Circle.
I am going to clean and tidy up my area and then do a Clearing.

My mother used to do something like this with Sage and waft it around the whole house and then she would say these affirmations and burn them and then flush them down the toilet. She had me write down all the negative words about the year before and those would be the words we would burn. Then she would have me wash my hands and tell me to see all my worries and troubles and issues go down the drain.Then she would have me write down all the positive phrases and things I wanted in teh New Year adn we would say in sentence form those words like "I will welcome Happiness and Prosperity in my New Year..." and other things like that.

I grew up in a home where getting rid of the old and bringing in the new was customary...but somewhere along the way I forgot how to do this and I just let things happen all around me and I kept trying to survive and keep my head above water.

Since 2011 was in NO way what I wanted out of it and I thought I would be in a different place and situation this year at this time, I don't want it anymore. I give 2011 back to itself. I refuse to allow it to define me.

I am going to rid myself of all the negatives for 2011 and bring in the new year with a Space Clearing and welcome in all the things I desire and draw them to me to be drawn to me. Here's hoping 2012 brings better things for us all!

So How Do You Let Old Year Out and New Year In?

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Drift

I have come to find that people drift in life.

We drift towards another human being. We drift to those like us. We drift to those who have similar interests. We drift to those who we connect with on some level, even if we have no clue what that is.

We also drift AWAY. We drift away when scared. We drift away when things aren't right. We drift away when we need away.

Odd to me the most is the ones we Drift towards. ...

It is so interesting to me that coincidentally I can be reading a blog. I write a post comment somewhere else. Another person then replies to that post, sending me a link of something I NEED to read and lo and behold it is the blog I am already reading.

Today that happened.

The blog I was reading that she sent me to was White Hot Truth

Expectation Addicts

Simply put-Show Up, Shine, Let Go.
Because when you're showing up in the now, you don't have time to expect much. You're focused on the give, not the get.expectations shrink your shine and weigh you down with worry and equations.

Then this part I printed, am currently collaging and going to put it where I can look at it daily

A PRAYER FOR RECOVERING EXPECTATION ADDICTS

Lord, Shiva, Yaweh, Saraswati, [insert your own deities here] pimp my shizzle and deliver me to where it's best.
Yess'm, Jesus, life, cosmic intelligence, Milky Way Magi, take the wheel.
I know you've got my back. I know that you know how intensely my heart burns, how sweet is the honey at the center of my center, how much I am capable of. And God knows (that'd be you) how game I am to collaborate with you to make good stuff happen.
I accept my calling: to show up and shine. Unfurled and honest. Determined to be only that which I am.
I'm here to give...my all.
I trust that pure intention counts for plentiful support.
I trust we'll get where I'm going, together -- once I learn to be where I am.
I'll go make my art now.
I have faith that you've got the rest covered.
Amen. Om shanti. Shalom.

In addition to this I happen to click over to this other post Danille posted

"In honour of the fact that life is short: ecstatic sex, quitting, and wearing your best"

wear your white shirts. get them pressed.
use your good dishes -- everyday.
shave on weekends.
do not wait for special occasions.
do not tuck your best away in the drawers, in the back of the closet, in your heart.
don't wait for holidays or invitations.
declare that your today is the special occasion.
call instead of emailing. (it feels so good to connect.)
go for coffee.
quit.
take care of it.
renounce your glory days. you've told all of those stories more than twice.
focus forward.
wear perfume for yourself. toss your only-wear-around-the-house clothes and let your good clothes graduate to around-the-house status.

intend to feel good all of the time.

write your book.
launch.
make ecstatic sex a priority. (this deliberateness will make you more creative, productive and generally gracious. on your death bed, you will think about all the amazing sex you had this lifetime.)
burn your to-do list.
write poetry. one a day.
make a point to be as encouraging as possible, as much as possible, to everyone possible.
don't look back.
if you feel like you're always failing, consider that this is part of being an artist. let it be a divine inclination. keep going.
enter.
leave.
eat real food.
often refuse to be in the presence of people who make you feel repressed, anxious, or pull your frequency down.
do not entertain haters.
send light to the haters.
give it away. you probably don't need it and someone else does.
turn off the tv.
let it be easy.
burn candles. during the day.
fall in love. with yourself. with the person you're with. with the persons in your orbit.
because no one is perfect, but you can let the love be perfect for the both of you.
because everyone -- everyone -- is a doorway to God.
because you can get there from here.
because life is short.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Wiscasting Wednesday-What do you wish for the New Year?

What do you wish for the New Year?

The image or thought that first came to my mind was that most people think of champagne glasses, party favors, and the like. Some think of goals and some think of Fresh Starts. They think of a laundry list of things they want to accomplish and do and become and create. This is usually me.

But this year the only word that keeps resonating in my head is thinking of PEACE.

I am gearing up for Goddess Circle 2012 and the word that resonated there was PEACE....

I just want, yearn for and desire with all my migt, mind and strength to have PEACE this year.

Peace in my business
Peace in my passions.
Peace in my relationships
Peace in my heart.
Peace in my finances
Peace in my thoughts
Peace in my home.
Peace in my car.
Peace in my family.
Peace in my friends.
Peace in my life.
Peace in my soul.

My Favorite Movie Eat, Pray Love has a couple of quotes that speak to me

“the resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That’s where you need to go” (p 141).

“The harbor of my mind is an open bay, the only access to the island of my Self (which is a young and volcanic island, yes, but fertile and promising). This island ahs been through some wars, it is true, but it is now committed to peace, under a new leader (me) who has instituted new policies to protect he place. And now—let the word go our across the seven seas—there are much, much stricter laws n the books about who may enter this harbor. / You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague ships of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts—all these will be turned away. Likewise, any thoughts that ware filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents and pamphleteers, mutineers and violent assassins, desperate prostitutes, pimps and seditious stowaways—you may not come here anymore, either. Cannibalistic thoughts, for obvious reasons, will no longer be received. Even missionaries will be screened carefully, for sincerity. This is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquility” (p 178-179)

There is nothing you can do about the craziness of the world. “This is nature of world. This is destiny. Worry about your craziness only—make you in peace” (p 251).

This is my wish for 2012- to make PEACE out of the craziness within myself.

Introduction to the Godess Circle 2012

I was updating my intro in teh Goddess Circle and thought it might be beneficial for me to repost here:

http://www.goddessguidebook.com/goddess-circle/

I was raised in a metaphysical home of candles, tarot cards, crystal balls, belief in angels and fairies and was taught to do REAL magic at 14 years old. I was put in spiritualist training and taught this as well as how to do a tarot reading, Gong Hee Fot Choy readings, candle readings, astral travel, go in and out of a trance properly and how to connect to spirits as well as send bad spirits out of places. This was my life from 10- 18 years old.

On the "normal scale" I was put in etiquette classes, ballet, pointe ballet, vocal instruction, speech and manners class. I was in choir, bells, glee, show choir, dance, dance drill team, cheer and a majorette (for a week). I excelled in High School and could have graduated in 10th grade but my mother wanted me to be "normal" so suggested I stay all years. This was compensated by in my 10th,11th and 12th grade year I went to High School for half of the day and then went to Cosmetology from 1-5pm. In my senior year I had every credit I needed to be a hairdresser and back out of going to take the Cosmetology Bar Exam to go into Banking. I completed my last 6 month in ROP (Regional occupation Training) as a banker and worked in a Bank of America and two credit unions. I excelled so well at this I was asked in my second week to be the Teacher's Liaison Assistant and graduated that class with flying colors. Irony...I haven't worked in a Bank since-the industry perhaps but not a bank.

I never dated in school and was taken advantage of as a young child and in my teens. I grew up losing my father when I was 10 years old,gained a step dad by the time I was 13 and I have had MANY bad things happen to me. I have been raped, beaten, abused, homeless, lost a Corporation, 5 Cease and Desist letters in the last year, two new businesses and one new Non Profit. I have been divorced, annulled, and divorced again. Single and then in a serious relationship for 4 years that went south.

I have two children from my 1st marriage. I got married, had two kids and was divorced from him by the time I was 23. I don't look it but I am 41 right now. He beat me and then still ended up with the kids, so I was not allowed or given the opportunity to be a mother. I went through custody battles, visitation, etc only to be told they are 16 and 17 now you might as well wait. My children have been brainwashed to believe what their external family (my ex in laws) have told them.

My second spouse and I were together not even a year and broke because he got into drugs, gambling and cheating on me. I stood up for him and walked out of a job that said he was stealing from the company, only to find out...he was.

My third spouse and I were Mormon's for 10 years, he born in the church me a convert. I joined at 23 years old and by 33 I was wondering things the church could NOT answer. So I left the church. This did not help the marriage and by 37 I left that too.

I enjoy life, I smile alot despite my circumstances, though not to say withstanding life can still get me down. I am not a robot. I love music, TV media, movies, you name it. I love to sing and dance and skip and be free and jolly. I love art, some drawing, mostly inking, collage, making cards, creating life through art-not the other way around.

I recently have had issues letting someone go in my life that I thought I thought was going to marry and we ended up breaking up and getting back together 3 times. This is what I am suffering through right now and has kept me from properly moving on with my life. It is hindering my businesses and other goals I desire for in my life.

You will hear me speak of this, my businesses, my children perhaps, my life, my growing up and the struggles between all of them. Last year I tried a hard effort to gain some footing underneath me and grab a hold of some stability and reality. My topsy turvy world was more than I could handle. I thought by the end of the year I would be in a different place, financial stability, security, growing buisness, understanding in my relationships.

Yet I feel a bit like where I left off with some new knowledge and tooks but perhaps they were nto the RIGHT tools. The Goddess Circle seems more like a centered place than I was last year. Last year it was about taking take of EXTERNAL things in my life. This year I hope to be about grounding and centering and getting in tune with myself.

If you would like to know more about me I am an open book I think.

My blogs are here:
http://www.blogger.com/profile/08186256024588576955

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Break Over Break OverBreak Over....

If I keep saying it will it make it more real? Doubtful.

Reading sites to help me be strong and move on.

This one I saw before. Bookmarked it. Reading it now. Working on listening to it
10 Ways to make Your Break Up Suck Harder or Suck Less

Breaking up

Heal My Broken Heart

Web MD Breaking Up Gracefully

I read things like this ""If you are still in love with the person and want them back, the best thing to do is go cold turkey." and really do want to follow it, but I don't know if I can.

"Do take at least eight weeks with no contact. No phone. No 'let's get together for coffee.' No nothing," she says. "You need time to detox and get in touch with yourself again."

Learn from relationships," -"Write down five things you appreciated about this relationship that you would like to have in the next one, and five things you would not like to create next time."

Psychology Today
The end of a relationship is more than goodbye: It's knowing how to make the least painful egress.

Yet all the time this song looms in my head...

But through it all I leave you with the thought that stuck in my head from Stephanie St. Claire...

There Will Be Days

Friday, December 23, 2011

2011 Year In Review: Courses in Life This Year

I started the year with one little E-Course and ended up throughout the year taking E-Course after E-Course and ended up reading signing up and taking any online book, guide or E-Course that I felt would help me on my path, one leading to the other. This is my year in Review of those Courses and Guides.

January 2011-Brave Girl's Soul Restoration One (6 week course)
February 2011-Finishing up BG SR 1, Truth Cards, truth Books and Promise Book, Operation Beautiful
March 2011-Right Brain Business Plan- Video Summit- Found other guest artist and business people I started following like The Art of Non Conformity, Ridler Studios, joined Just Be Yourself, Wishcasting Wednesday, The Artist's Way (for the 3rd time), Sparkles
April 2011-Continued on my training and E-learning and moving forward, Goddess Guidebook, learned about the word Grok (Grokkers, Grokking, etc-like minded Tribe), Working for Good
May 2011- Somewhere along the way found When I Grow Up Coach, Create Every Day, and Soul Restoration 2
June 2011 and July 2011-Summer of Color, In the Sun, finished SR2
August 2011-Continued Wishcasting Wednesday, Goddess Guidebook, SR2, Wordless Wednesday, Eat-Pray-Love
September 2011- Declaration of You with Jessica Swift and Michelle Ward
October 2011-Finishing DOY, gearing up for NaNoWriMo, CED (Create Every Day)
November 2011- NaNoWriMo (National November Writing Month 50,000 words in 30 days), CED-AEDM (Create Every Day-Art Evey Day Month)
December 2011-Year in Review of ADGB and AAD (As Days Go By)(Art a Day), Flickr, Goddess Circle for 2012

People who inspire me and their blogs (which I read so often I feel like their inspirings and musings are teaching as well)

Normal is a Setting on the Dryer
Sevencity
Brene Brown
Finding Your Voice of Truth
A Beautiful Ripple Effect
Be Myles Ahead
Dance With Everybody Watching
White Hot Truth
Pink and Green Mama
BlissBombed
Willowing and Friends
Huldas Drawer
SallyHow2
Kind Hearted Blogger
April Cole's Studios
Blessings in a Basket
Bushel and a Peck
Do What Matters Most

I tried to get all the one's I could remember. Sorry if I missed anyone. Please don't be afraid to let me know your blog so I can add it.Please don't take it personally, I just have so many I can't keep track, sometimes! LOL.

Maybe some of these links will help you find your place in this world...

Thursday, December 15, 2011

2011 Year In Review: Books I Read (or Reading)

Books I read this year:

Effective Fundraising
Starbucks Experience
Life Makeovers
Zen by the Brush
Collaboration
The Eco Chick Guide to Life
Damn Why Didn't I write That?
Twenties Girl
How to Speak Like a Pro
The Family of Woman
Iowa 24/7
Quite Moments Devotional Journal
Mini Shopaholic
The Fashionista Files
A Year of Creativity
The Fashion Book
In Style Instant Style
Easter Ideals
Wherever You Go There you Are
Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life
Great Gifts in 30 Minutes or Less
Adobe Classroom in a Book-Flash
Adobe Classroom in a Book-Dreamweaver
Looking Up
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
101 Ways to Say Merry Christmas
Vital Friends
Crucial Conversations
Crucial Confrontations
The Influencer
How to Say It
The Artist's Way
My First Business Book of Ethics
My First Business Book of Etiquette
The NOW Revolution

Books on my Kindle:

Learn Absolute French
The New Oxford Dictionary
Barron's French English Dictionary
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
The Art of War
The Cleveland Clinic Guide to Pain
Don't Die DragonFly
Serial
Top Thought Leaders Share their Best Innovation Ideas
Predictable Magic: Unleash the Power of Design Strategy to Transform Your Business
Do you Matter? How Great Design Will Make People Love Your Company
Making Strategy Work: Leading Effective Execution and Charge
Invisible Forces and Powerful Beleifs
Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of your Professional and Personal Life
Selling to Big Companies
CK-12 Advanced Probability and Statistics
Tribal Knowledge: Business Wisdom (Brewed from the Grounds of Starbucks Corporate Culture)
The Counte of Monte Christo
Firms of Endearment: How World Class Companies Profit from Passion and Purpose
Write for Life, Revised and Updated: Healing Body, Mind and Spirit through Journal Writing
Kaplan Technical Writing: A Writing Resource for Technical Writers at ALL Levels
Apples are Square: Thinking Differently about Leadership
Angel of Death Row: My Life as a Penalty Defense Lawyer
Sharp Grammar: Building Better Grammar Skills
Circle of Friends: Cookbook-25 Meatloaf Recipes
25 Languages Phrase Book: German, French, Spanish, Catalan, Portuguese, Italian, Greek, etc.
Fools Rush In
The World Set Free
How to Speak Like a Pro
Oxford Dictionary of English
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
Pride and Prejudice
War and Peace

Books I am Reading Right Now on my Kindle:

Peace from Broken Pieces
Sun Stand Still
Chiczofrennia: Crazy is an Art Form
Safe Haven
Social Media Marketing
How to Say It at Work
Three Weeks with my Brother
The Secrets of Economic Indicators: Hidden Clues to Future Economic Trends, etc
How to Say It: Grantwriting
Overconnected: The Promise and Threat of the Internet
The Right Brain Business Plan
Poke the Box

In 2011 I read or am finishing up to 80 books.

Challenge for 2012 is 100books.

I also just found a load of books in boxes that I will be putting up on shelves today, so who knows what kind of things will peak my reading desire. A blog I found recently through another friend mentions why you should be with women who read. I found it very cute and agreed with everything they said. Read this little blog post and I think you will agree.

Date a Girl Who Reads

Quotes from the Blog...Click on the Link to READ the whole post and be amazed...

Date a girl who reads. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants.She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street.It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book.Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.If you find a girl who reads, keep her close.You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Wishcasting Wednesday-What is Your Deepest Wish?

What is your DEEPEST Wish?
This is the question Jaime Ridler gives to you today.

Oh such a simple sounding request to answer but such a loaded one to put together

Right now I have two things foremost on my mind: Business and Love

In Business I wish to get out the thumb of others and be able to fully run Warriors for the Homeless.
Out of all of the things I have created for business reasons, all the websites, all the small businesses, Warriors for the Homeless is the one that has my passion the most and I really want to make it successful and live from it and for it. I have lived homeless and it is not fun. It is not always by choice as other would believe. We are all roughly two paychecks away from being homeless.I want to help the cause and retire doing so.

In Love I wish for happiness. I wish to be with the person who treats me well all of the time. I wish to be with the person who cherishes me. I wish to be with the person who put me above all others. I wish to be with the person who buys me flowers because he wants to. I wish to be with the person who loves me for me. I wish to be happy. Truly elated, joyous and happy.

These, my friends, are my DEEPEST wishes. Above all else, I wish for these...

Saturday, December 10, 2011

A week of Rememberance

This week is often a hard week for me and sometimes my family as well.

December 7th, 1980 my father Art Hunter passed away. On December 10th, 1980 was his funeral. I was 10 years old, Bonnie was 13, Corinna was 15 and Martha was 17. Martha was living in Vegas by this time and was not in contact with our family so sadly she was not told and unaware that dad has passed.

Bonnie and Corrina were older than me and were allowed to see my father in the hospital. As I have said before this was hard for me to accept because I was NOT allowed to see him and so when I was at his funeral it was so unreal.

I remember my mother leaning over to me and commenting how there was a smile on his face like he knew something we didn't and sadly that did not ease my min, it only made me wonder more if he was "really" gone.

My father's birthday is around Thanksgiving so at time the pain starts there for me.

I was so young when he passed.

I was "Daddy's Girl" and I missed him so much.

Once I accepted his death things did not magically get easier. I remembered him more and thought about him more often during these weeks. The older I became though things have eased with time.

I am lucky enough to have sisters who to this day understand how hard it is for me. A mother who helps me remember good things about him as well as see him for the "real man" he was, not a fairy tale I had in my mind for years.

I am lucky enough to have friends and significant others who help ease the pain and make my life busy or tolerable at least so I move on with life and don't DWELL on the past.

Thank you to all of those and for those of you who alos miss those you love fathers or otherwise, remember the moments good or bad though remember to move on because life is happening now and that's what our loved ones would have wanted.

:)

Saturday, November 19, 2011

There Could Never Be a More Beautiful You

Last February for Valentine's Day I went around and posted a bunch of notes for Operation Beautiful.
http://adgb.blogspot.com/2011/02/valentine-operation-beautiful.html

Recently I was listening to Johnny Diaz's "More Beautiful You" and I thought, wouldn't it be kewl if I made a montage of the notes from Operation Beautiful with that song?

See I always carry a post it note pad of Pink Hearts with a Pink sharpie in my purse. I post notes everywhere I can and nearly everywhere I go. I have yet to find a note someone else left and I have traveled between Des Moines Iowa and Omaha Nebraska quite a bit. I don't know if others just aren't doing them or I am not going to the places where they are.

When I was looking for notes to use for the video today I chose each month starting with January of 2011 ans then scanned through the posts for each of the months in 2011. Click and saving ones that had the website on the bottom, were uniquely different and I found some very interesting posts as well as some really kewl ideas. It amazed me at the places people left the notes like on bicycles and over a stream of school lockers and such. I found one where someone wrote on a dollar bill. Now my brain is working overtime to some neat ideas of where I can start posting my notes in different places and in books and on things.

I think I may make another video off of another song I was thinking that has the "Beuatiful" theme to it and maybe make a few Montages of these. For me music speaks louder than words and so I am hoping that with my love I put into it, the love people put into the notes, then I can help carry the message to others with Caitlin that

"...there could never be a More Beautiful You..."

Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Imperfect Friend

I have been busy writing for NaNoWriMo and realized I haven't paid much attention to this blog. I like to write what inspires me and so sometimes that also is why I might lack a few days here or there.

I was reading in my "Looking Up" devotional and found something that spoke out to me I wanted to share with you.

"I wouldn't for a minute minimize the pain of a relationship broken by unreasonable, or at the very least, unsustainable expectations. When such a close and dependable relationship is injuriously severed, the knife penetrates to the exact depth we've invited them into our private lives. One of the primary reasons we're so wounded is because the person knew what we were going through and STILL abandoned us. What I am about to say can be painful to hear, but it comes with healing.

Sometimes a person abandons us not in spite of what we're going through, but directly because if it.

They either ran out of ANSWERS, or they ran out of ENERGY and no longer had the wherewithal to go through it with us. If our helping friends ACTUALLY did something that overtly wronged us, they bear the responsibility before God for that. But if they wronged us by RUNNING OUT OF FUEL and DROPPING OUT OF THE STRUGGLE, we need to realize they have done all they felt they could to humanly do and let them go without bitterness or anger."

Have you ever felt abandoned by a friend when you were especially in need?

I have. I also have been the one who walked away from a friend or two and even family members and relationships. The people this happened to felt perhaps abandoned by me and hearing they felt that way hurt my heart, but I had to do what I needed to survive myself. I also felt completely torn about the decision and for a long time felt sad about it. As much as I missed them in my life, I need my life back and I did not feel like I had that while they were pulling me down into their world.

I know when my friends and my mother left me on my own and gave me a dose of "TOUGH LOVE" I resented them for some time but eventually thanked them. I was stronger for it and learning to stand on my own was the best thing for building my character.

Looking back, were your expectations unrealistic and therefore unfair?

I used to expect my friends to answer every text, return every voice mail, respond to every letter I wrote them. I was often told I was "too much" and that I smothered them and they felt like they couldn't breathe. Some said they felt like I was a "leech" and only called them when I needed cash, support or help. They told me it wore on them and they loved me and cared for me, but they wanted me to be strong, stand on my own two feet, stand up for myself, have confidence and self worth in myself and be a better woman.

What I recognize in this and in another friend currently going through struggles is that while in the midst of these things it is hard to see this in your life. You feel as though you friends don't care and/or that they hate you. This in turn make things worse because you then tell yourself lies about the friendship and situation and it can be a downward spiral.

Brave Girls has taught me about listening to the Truth. Soul Restoration has taught me about Protecting my Soul House and loving myself. Goddess Leonie helped me see the brightness I offer to others and to continue to love the inner me. Art Journaling helped me open my Right Brain to creative thinking again and helped me release a lot of the things I was feeling and retaining. Declaration of You and When I Grow Up Coach helped me release the things that was keeping me from moving on and moving up.

I would not have come to these conclusions if friends did not walk away. If I didn't walk away from some friends as well. The resounding truth from Brave Girls is that we can make and keep boundaries and still love others. They may not see it because they are hurt, but it is true and we see it and know it to be.

Remember that people are people. They are only human. Our expectations from another in our life-Lover, spouse, friend, mate, or even someone new in our life---ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ARE HURTING--can require superhuman insight and stregth. No one they let us down. They are human.

People run out of gas. Jesus never will. Jesus laid down his life for his friends. He was not human. He was a spiritual being having a human experience. He was able to endure. Some friends, some spouses, some family can endure a lot. Others can endure very little. Do not compare them to each other for they are not the same. When someone abandons you, love them and pray for them. They gave you all the could...

But remember they are only human...they are Imperfect.

But they are still your Friend.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Being Boundary Thick AFTER Soul Restoration/Brave Girls

I have been in the Brave Girls Club for just over a year now.

I have taken Soul Restoration 1 and 2

I was a part of the original Soul Restoration 1 group in fact. It was like something I have never ever head before. IT was surreal. It was profound. It was something I needed to hear...

Protect your soul house.

Protect your soul house FIERCELY!

It is ok Brave Girl to set, make and keep boundaries and still love others.

Send destructive people to the Moon.

These may sound "foreign" to some, but other BG SR sisters they are reading this and nodding and understanding and empathizing.

But what do you do AFTER Soul Restoration? What do you do AFTER months have gone by? How easy is it to abide by those standards? How well do you continue to Protect your Soul House? Are you still watching your boundaries?

I have taken other online courses this year intermittently to keep in tune with the values and beliefs. But it IS still hard.

I currently have a friend, some I care about, who is Not protecting his soul house. Now granted, he did not take SR 1 and 2. He does not quite understand this. But I have continuously stated to him that he needs to stop allowing people to tromp all over him, telling lies about him and treating him badly. I have shared he needs to set, make a nd keep boundaries for this protection and so on. I have done all I can all year.

I did for awhile remove myself from his life. This was not long after SR1. It is not that these courses make us or tell us per say to remove people, yet to protect ourselves. Others who will nto do so can potentially harm us.

Their lives, their drama, their needs becomes most prevalent. They are as my counselor says "succubus" who will keep coming to you and running to you and wanting and yearing your help and more.

But even more what comes to my mind is KSM. (I know you think so but I am Not infatuated it just seems that way...snicker).

To be clear...a message KSM sent me and told me something I have NEVER EVER FOGOTTEN...

She said, "I need very boundary thick people and so should u. It's important to ur soul house. U have to earn a way in a door of friendship with time and ease. Trust can't be granted with a friend request."

Boundary Thick People...I like this phrase. It resonates with me. It HAS resonated with me for months. And now, it has come back to my mind tenfold.

I found this link about Psychological Boundaries

"Back to my friend who has thin boundary issues. He is loved by both students and faculty ...but he has constant "drama" in his life due to his thin interpersonal boundaries. By letting so many people "in," he has created an inner space where someone close to him is always in crisis and needs his attention. This constant drama has cut into his ability to be productive in his creative career."

"People with thin boundaries are open, overly-trusting, and easily intimate with others. They experience the border between themselves and others as porous and transparent. People with thick boundaries, on the other hand, are rigid, well-defended, and almost seem to be wearing a suit of armor."

I want to help my friend but he is not Boundary Thick. He is like the example above. He is so thin, there is constant drama and his own career and life is at a loss because of it. I have been there. I understand. But someone setting boundaries with me has helped me to move on in my life and grow and get my life moving forward again.

For me to remain this way I need to have others with thick boundaries around me just as KSM needs those around her. I get it now....I finally get it.

IT is not easy keeping up with the things we learn in SR1 and SR2 sometimes but that is why we have those Truth Cards, and our Life Book and BG Truths and all the tools they gave us.

Hold fast to your beliefs. But remember to believe the things that are real. And above all...

Protect your Soul House FIERCELY!!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

NaNoWriMo-2011

Every year for the past four years I have been attempting to write for NanoWriMo-National Novemember Writing Month. Last year was the first year I FINALLY completed it. The prior years were 30,000 words in 30 days. Last year they UPPED it to 50,000 words in 30 days. I decided to write about the Memoirs of me and my mother called Days of Corn Tortillas . I had a few followers and people who commented.

Some people read every day I wrote and some people just found out what I wrote last year and are anxious to see what I will write about this year. Other NNWMers are gearing up right now-Getting their plots ready, preparing outlines, deciding what they will write about. Some are editing and setting up their NNWM sites and entering their information so their words can be counted.

That was me about 30 minutes ago. I have been "actively" thinking about what inspires me, what inspires others, what do I want to say this year, what can I write about from the heart. I recently wrote a post on this blog called Broken Barbie. I have mentioned briefly here or there about my life, the things I have gone through and the healing process.

I follow a blog called Finding Your Voice of Truth. She talks about healing. She talks about her life. She talks about her pain and growth and how others can get there. This....this is what inspires me right now.

I have decided to call my NNWM blog Broken Barbie. If you want to get a head start and start following me go ahead and click on the link and follow or add it to your feeds or bookmarks now. The writing doesn't start until November 1st so nothing will be on it until then but you can be ready to receive it now.

Here is a bit about it (this is also in the heading)

The stories and memories you are about to read are real. The events DID happen in my life whether others want to accept they happened or not. I know they did. I know how they affected me. I know for some, they might affect you. I also know, I am not a Broken Girl anymore. Hopefully, through my words, through the stories I have to share, through the healing I have experienced, you may not be broken anymore either.

I know this will NOT go over well with everyone. I know some in my family and those around me will DENY these things. I know some will challenge me. But I truly feel that if my HERO (KSM) from "Normal is a Setting on the Dryer I can be real, truthful, and honest to a fault SO CAN I!

I I do also hope to inspire another friend (CRG) in my life to write about his life or write during this time.

The one thing I learned from Brave Girls is a BG Truth I read often "Your story is worth sharing"

I believe that with all my heart. I believe I can make a difference. I believe in you and I believe in me. I believe in God, a higher power, a supreme being, or whatever you want to call it. Most of all, I believe in sharing my story- no matter what.

I am NOT Broken anymore.

It is time I shared with the world how I got to that place in my life.

Find out how starting November 1st.