Monday, August 15, 2016

One Year Anniversary: A Rememberance

We met on a bench in 2007 in the East Village of Des Moines, Iowa at 5th and Locust. We talked for hours, when I was told he didn't talk to anyone.

Though the timing was not right, we were destined to be together and the universe put us back in each others path. A contract in Jan 2010 led me back to Ben at Wells Fargo, in the same building, on the same floor, in the same wing.

We always spent time together going to the Social Club, 80/35, DSM Art Festival, Iowa State Fair and nearly every event there was downtown since I lived so close. We became best friends.

Though not always an easy relationship, Ben was not afraid to fight for me and chase me down. his encouragement paid off in 2012 when he said "Why are you dating all those schmucks when I would love you until the end of the world?" how could a girl pass that up? I committed to dating him exclusively and on February 14, 2014, Ben took me to the DSM Botanical Center, found a bench, knelt down on one knee and proposed in front of everyone.

15 August 2015 we were wed in Racine, Wisconsin by his lovely Father, Stephen Merrill, our officiator, his Mother Nancy Edwards (bless her soul) made our lovely arch for us to stand under and everyone contributed in one way or the other truly welcoming into the family for our 1940's War and Swing Era Themed Wedding at Windpointe Lighthouse.

It was a family reunion and wedding all in one , wrapped up in a bow!

It will forever have significant meaning to Ben and myself, not just because it was our wedding day, but because it was an event where Nancy was with us, she was SO happy, so delighted and The whole family was there for a joyous occasion!

I will never forget that day for many reasons, as I think many in the family feel the same. :)

This will be a day I will ALWAYS remember and cherish in my heart, forever! <3

so in love, are we two....

Monday, August 01, 2016

Finding my Dharma

I am currently working through a guide I got from  a course called Dharma in Action. It is through a program I purchased connected to Carrie Hensley.  I joined her Online Sangha Community at the beginning of the Year, and Dharma in Action was offered through that. It it an Intense course to help you go through your goals, intentions, reach your goals through SMART achievable actions and ways and means to get there through various tools she offers. I don't want to give away "too much" because the Sangha IS a paid program and the Dharma in Action is something you get by paying for that program. Being an Entrepreneur myself, I know, this is how we make money and I would never take money away from another. 
This month the theme is SERVICE....
My friend who I have known for some time was passing through town reminded me recently that I serve others quite frequently. She knows I would give you every penny I have, the shirt and shoes off my back and do everything I can for you. She also reminded me quite BOLDLY in what some would say was maybe ABRUPT, but that's what old friends are for. As we are visiting, I am telling her about all these people i have helped and done things for and how enriching and enlightening it has been and how my soul has felt so nourished and she says something to the affect (I am paraphrasing here) "Trisha, that's great, but you need to nourish YOUR soul, and take care of you! Don't forget to serve yourself and take care of YOU TOO!"
God I love friends who aren't afraid to slap you in the face metaphorically.
This reminder that I ALWAYS serve others. though it is good, but not to forget ME. To serve me. To take care of Me. to have me time. Trisha time. 
I am kind and loving and I would give you the shirt off my back the shoes I am wearing and every dime I have. I would serve you until I have nothing and yes that is true. But that we need to be of service to ourselves. God loves us and we are also his children. We need to remember to serve ourselves and not forget that we are need service. to take care our OUR bodies, minds and souls. 
It was such an enlightening visit, good friends do that to us. Plus the sound healing she did on me was amazing. I want more of that! I want to learn that too.
August, DIA, though probably meant to be more of a Service to OTHERS will be a reminder to me this month to look INWARD. I serve others SO much and love other SO MUCH that I forget to look in the mirror. Trisha needs service too. 
Monthly goals for August: to be in more Service to myself. To remember to give myself Me Time. 
Obstacles: Taking the time to do it. Carving out the time. Not getting distracted doing other things.
I didn't read the book for this month and probably wont as I don't buy a lot of books as we are trying to downsize so we can move into something smaller,  but from what I understand of the book we are to read it is about Adult Behavioral Change and Triggers that do that. I did find a great article from Harvard Health Publications I wanted to share with you. Read more by clicking on the link below...

Why it’s hard to change unhealthy behavior — and why you should keep trying

I am going to apply the same questions though from the DIA Book Review to the article-

DIA: What were your three key take-aways:

  1. Change is a process not an event: "Each stage is a preparation for the following one, so hurrying through or skipping stages is likely to result in setbacks"
  2. Stages of Change: 
    1. Precontemplation: The" all my family is fat, so i'm gonna be fat"
    2. Contemplation "I'm considering change in six months"
    3. Preparation: Making palns to change. Joined a gym, or bought nicotine patch
    4. Action: You've changed. Stopped smoking
    5. Maintenance: You've practiced this new behavior for six months now. You've "maintained" it.  You killed the old habit and started and kept a new one.
This part really intrigued me" That may require other changes, especially avoiding situations or triggers associated with the old habit. It can be tough, especially if it means steering clear of certain activities or friends while you work to fully assimilate your new, healthier habit." Mostly because I don't think people understand this. 

They think "Oh, I can still hang around all my old friends who are TOXIC for me. Or I can still hang around FAMILY even , that is TOXIC and I will still be fine. NO, you WON'T be fine. It doesn't matter if it family or friends or even co-workers, if those people have the old habits that led you to the toxic things you did or toxic way of thinking, then you CAN'T hang around them anymore. they will lead you back down that destructive way of thinking and lifestyle once again. Those are TRIGGERS.

I get that.

DIA How can you apply the lessons from the [article] to your personal/professional life:
Remember to steer clear of those toxic people in my life. Remove or turn off notification from those people who trigger me. Old friends are great, but if they trigger me into a negative frame of mind and do not help me to achieve my Dharma, then they are no good for me. and will not help me to reach my goals.
DIA: What can you use from the [article] to help you reach your intention:
This really spoke to me too...

"It can take a few rounds"

It was a good reminder that things do not always happen on our time. I was even just reading in Peter, in the bible this Sunday and I read " the Lord 1 day is like 1000 years and 1000 years is like a day." 
Think about that. That is profound. So when are like "Come on Heavenly Father, hurry up..." He is like "Be patient my child" because uh, hello...time moves WAAAAAAAAAY different in celestial time. 
If you believe in reincarnation like my mother does (not sure where I stand on that one yet) then my mother says it may take a few lives. Which could be the same as "It can take a few rounds" . Regardless..Be patient. 
DIA: What can you use from the [article] to help you overcome some of the obstacles on your path: 
It is VERY funny that THAT was the next question in the DIA because THIS was the next line in the article...

"The path from one stage to the next is rarely straightforward"

I think that sums it up.
Thanks for reading and listening.
Hugs and kisses and fairytale wishes.
XoXo, Namaste, TrishaTrixie

TrishaTrixie...grabbing life every moment she can!

Thursday, July 28, 2016

POE: Pursuit of Excellence: Intentions, Dreams, and Goals

Right click to download free wallpaper gift from Trisha Trixie :)

I don't know how the discussion came to be but HunEPants and I were talking about goals and he asked me if I had specific goals I am working on this year. I said yes and asked if he want to hear them? He replied "Yes" and I looked around to see if I still had the ones nearby taped to the back of my bedroom door. I did so I pulled those off and we sat down on the bed and I began to read them off.

As I barreled down this long list on Spiritual, Intellectual, Service, Character and Physical Challenges he nods his head and at times smiles. When I got to certain parts I remark on what things I have and have not accomplished for the year. I tell him that to my surprise out of ALL of the ones I was MOST surprised about was that I have accomplish ALL of the Physical Challenges and those were the ones, I thought I was going to have the hardest time with.

POE: Physical Challenges:

Develop healthy eating habits and patterns
Learn to cook healthy foods.
Develop a program of regular exercise.
Work toward healthy sleep patterns.
Improve your personal appearance or hygiene.
Improve emotional and mental health.
Create opportunities to be active with family and friends.

Then I continued with the list and said, "I create this list in January generally but then somewhere mid year I go back through them, and take a measurement of what I have and have not accomplished, however, I don't call these goals. I call these  "INTENTIONS". Because when people thin of goals I feel they get let let down. I want to lose ten pounds. Then they don't lose ten pound they lose 2 pounds, they feel they failed, they give up, and it's all over. however, if they say I INTEND to lost ten pounds and they lose 2, they can be excited in the success that they lost 2! Understand?

He nods his head yes.

"Also, I do a mid year check because, my life shifts and changes and perhaps those things that were important to me in January aren't important tome anymore. Like I started The Good of Sisterhood and Intended to have speakers and courses and have it be a Meetup generated idea, however, with the loss of your mom (we lost my mother in law right at the beginning of the year) that changed everything, that shifted things, not only our lives, but also my perception of things. "

Hunepants replied "I see"

"I intended to gain one Newsletter subscriber a month, and do more with the Passive Expertise Princess and focus more on the Passive Income side of things, but as I said, my perception of things changed and instead, since I WAS working on my mindfulness degree, that became into full focus and those things became trivial to me and my idea of SUCCESS, pivoted and changed and became different. I didn't care about have a new list subscriber, I didn't care about pod-casting,  webinars, and you tubing, I slowly didn't take about the entrepreneur world and slowly shifted my gaze to mindfulness, yoga, peace, enlightenment, etc. I finished my MBSR (mindfulness Based Stress Reduction  Certification) to help those with PTSD, suffering, overcoming, anguish, turmoil and the hardships of life. THAT became my focus. As well as dealing with your grief and my grief over the loss of losing your mother." 

Hunepants ask "Hmmmm..." I see him thinking and pondering all this

I comment "Sorry that was a long answer to probably a short question."

He chuckles and says" no, I expected a long answer with you." Of which this makes us both chuckle.

Then I said " To  finish up, (I show up him my book that says CARPE DIEM) I write down my mid year goals then transfer them to my program ASANA which is a project management tool, you know me, that helps me keep it all together and I check things off as I go, like Agile Methodology to keep track and I do that weekly. Until the end of year and then the following year I do it all again. I learned the Intentions from Danielle La Porte back in 2011 when I was doing that soul searching thing and have been doing it since. 

He says "Very good hunney. I am proud of you!"

I grin one of those cheesy almost cat like grins. Sweeter words were never spoken than when someone you love/care about tells you they are proud of you. my heart swells. :)

He goes back to playing video games and I don't remember but I go back to reading my crafting magazine or coloring to relax.

I still have some pretty big lofty goals this year that I am trying to meet and some little ones. I am diligent, determined, driven and those are just the d words. 

Do I bite off more than I can chew? To MOST people, or would MOST people think so? I would say, I think they would think so, but for someone like me, no. 

I have high high high ENERGY. I wake at 5:30 am every morning, take no naps during the day and can't fall asleep until about 11pm at night and I start winding down at 7/8pm mind you. I drink no coffee, only tea and most of that is decaf, Chai only. Generally I drink 120 oz of water with lime and Nosalt (potassium) throughout the day. So no, it isn't caffeine. It's just me. this is me, ask my sisters. Ask my friends. They call me The Energizer Bunny. LOL.

I enjoy life and I want to live it. I want to leave a legacy of love, positivity, and a life well lived behind me. I never want someone to say "what a waste" when I am gone. I am a Chronic Pain Sufferer and have Degenerative Back issues a lot. I am concerned that there will get to be a time when I wont' be able to do certain things in my life and I want to live my life before that happens. 

As well, my bio father passed when I was ten and a friends father passed when we were teens in high school. that taught me very early on: LIFE IS SHORT. Life is meant to be lived, not just survived. When that movie Titanic came out and they showed how she lived her life and did all those things it was like an emulation of my life and such I have carried that on as well. 

Now, though I don't look it, I am 46 years old. (though everyone thinks about 35ish) I have done nearly everything on the bucket list I wanted except Ziplining and I still intend to. I say my bucket list is a Backwards Bucket list now. Now I want peace, a quiet cabin in the woods where I can garden, live off the land, solar panels, read books, sew, quilt, craft, color, create, draw, lead the simple life, live  a treehouse I don't care. 

Until then, I still have 10-20 more years to accomplish my dreams and goals with my hunepants (he is 11 years my younger) so I have time. I take care of him right now and he said when I can't take care of me, he promises to do that part. So I am striving to pursue my excellence.

Are you pursuing your excellence? What are YOUR intentions this year? 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Hello Old Friend

Before the days of Facebook, blogging was my outlet. I came here, I poured, I wrote. I didn't care if anyone read or not, and the people started commenting. It was nice I had an audience, but that still wasn't why I came here. I came here because I needed an outlet and I have arthritis and had juvenile arthritis so typing was always easier for me. I love journaling, but I just couldn't write the old fashioned way.

I just needed someone to pour it out to let it go, to just dump the thoughts. I needed someone to share those feelings that I was feeling inside and the things that I felt like I couldn't share with those around me. The boyfriend I was dating or the husband I was married to. The tears i was crying over my children and such.

My mother had me read Artist Way by Julia Cameron when I was young and Morning Pages was like, a ritual in our house. "Get that junk out of your head before you go to school or work" etc she would say. And so I would. It helped. At nights when I couldn't sleep as I got older this is what I would do, I would type. In 2005 I started this blog. Looking back I see some years I wrote more than others. Perhaps I was busier or I had more to do, or I had a man to keep me busy or a job or what not. I don't know.

All I know is, I have come to realize that I miss it.

I really want to get back into the habit of journaling again.

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Tumblr even all that Social Media does not replace the pouring out of my heart. So here i am. Susannah Conway's Love Letter reminded me of that. Adding our blogs to a blog roll made me think about it. "Hey, I have a blog, why am I not writing on that damn thing!"

So thank you SC. Here I am. To me this feels both odd and second nature at the same time. Not sure how that can be but it is. It's like going home but they turned your bedroom into a gym. It's home, but's it's not. I guess you have to make home your home again.

My life has changed so much in the past few years and this now, this blog is not a place for "dumping my sorrows" I think, I hope it to be a place for sharing my joys. I am sure it is a place for sharing my feelings and pains as well but since my mother in law passed and my mother has been consumed with her life in helping others, which is great, don't get me wrong, I feel a tad, well slighted.... I guess that she hasn't had time for me, the baby.

We did talk for 45 minutes today and I feel blessed I captured her for that long. As we get old in our lives and our parents get older those moments with them are so precious and rare. I feel like I am losing time and every moment counts. I don't want them to pass away and I missed them.

I just want to make sure it wasn't My fault that I didn't get to talk to my mom like i didn't' call her enough or something. With my mom it isn't that. It is more like, you can't hold her down long enough! lol

New spouse is busy at work, friends are busy, mom is busy.

So here is my blog.

My space to chat to the space in between again.

Hello old friend.

I have missed you.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

10 Things I Learned from Being Friends With Guys

As my life has gone on these 46 years I have come to understand certain things in life since the majority of my friends are guys. You see, the longer as a girl you are friends with guys, you just learn to accept and understand certain things and well, I just wanted to share these ten things with you:

  1. Getting picked on means they like you and that you are part of the group. Consider is a privilege, not a right. I used to hate it when the guys in the group picked on me. Now I feel left out if they don't. 
  2. When you are the girl in the guys group you have to be strong. You can't be crying and whiny. It's ok and encouraged to still be the girl. They like that. They like having a pretty girl around, but you still have to be strong and hold your own. Dish it out but take it back. Then you are strong and fun. They like that.
  3. If you plan on dating someone, be prepared to have them go through a screening process with your guy friends, EXTENSIVELY! Guys know guys. They know how they think, what they want to do with you, to you, and around you. Don't get fooled and say stupid things to your guy friends like "Oh no , he's not like that." He's EXACTLY like that. Your guys friends KNOW he's like that because they are guys too. Listen to your guys friends. They know. They are trying to protect you and watch out for you. Pay attention.
  4. My guys friends and me seem to be the only ones who can openly discuss sex in explicit detail and no one seems to get freaked out about it. Conversations also randomly start in explicit detail about explicit details about explicit body parts and about explicit things I or he did. At one point it used to be about what I was wearing but I think as we got older we got more prudish and thats ok. Or maybe I just got more prudish not that I got married, but still I think this is still pretty cool.
  5. You are each other best wing-man most likely. At least I know I am always THEIR best wing-man, I mean what is better than a girl telling another girl how great a guy is? Right? 
  6. You both can be completely YOURSELF with each other no matter what and the other accepts each other wholeheartedly, no judgements and that is  freaking awesome-sauce. GIRLS don't do that! 
  7. Guys are great at keeping secrets. They don't go running to another girl and gossip. Now they might share with other guys in the group something but that's for understanding. If you have a problem, guys are great to go and if you are in a guy group the guy group is great to go to when you have a problem because guys are great problem solvers most especially when it pertains to work or career issues. Even more so when it has to do with guy problems. I mean go to the source right? 
  8. Except insensitivity. These aren't girls. Most likely they might often tell you "You know I'm not a girl right?" You might get a few hugs here or there and some kindness, but they aren't girls. You will most likely get teased and kidded around. They will pick on you and tease and tell you to get over it. They are trying to toughen you up. It's good for you honestly. All the toughening up my guys friends did for me did me a hell of a lot of good in my life. It taught me Courage, Strength, Fierceness, Bravery, Boldness and Determination to succeed at life. I overcame a lot of shit in my life and because an overcomer. If I can do it, you can too!
  9. More than likely your guys friends will piss you off or hurt your feelings more times than not, but not long after you'll forgive them because they are also the best guys friends you have and they are just no other guys friends like them and you know it. You will miss their fun companionship so much it is like the Hobbit clan-ship. They break your plates and eat your food but you sure do miss them when they are gone.
  10. You are friends for life. Through thick and thin. Good times and bad. Sorrow, heartache, laughter, love, marriage, divorce, birthdays, funerals, new homes, moving, whatever happens, even if you don't talk for awhile , you always pick things right back up, you can all each other at a moments notice and the other one is are each other's best friends. This is how guy and girl friends are.
Ed Doolittle My Best Guy Friend since I was 16 and the one who has teased me and put up with all my shit for years! Thanks ED!

Anthony Harry

Scott Friedmeyer

Dwight Gawhen

John and Chris

Dan Tjarks

Justin Schillerberg

Me, Ben, Sherie, Jon McD

Donovan Klingel

Dean S

Eric Hanson

And of most Bestest Friend...
my #HunEPants

My Spouse

Benjamin Merrill

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Sub Dimensional Choice World and Universal Tree

I was thinking about the time and space between it all. Life, in its existence, or should I say, what we know of it, is all about CHOICE. CHOOSE, CHOSING, CHOICES,  which result in DECISIONS ON TOP OF DECISIONS that alter every moment and thng that we say or do. It made me wonder and I do often think about other dimensions. I believe that it is highly possible and I wouldn't doubt that this were true, that from the time you were born and COULD make decisions, that is when the sub dimensions of our life begin.

It is like those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, which btw looking back lately, I realized how much I really adored those books and devoured their content, as if I couldn't read them fast enough and then when I DID read them so fast that there was nothing to read until the next book came out!! I think "How interesting that I loved those books so much and yet here I have adopted this belief about the choices and decisions and how the sub dimensions are made.

The belief is this:

When we make our first choice, because we were faced with our first test of "which way is the right way or which answer is the right answer or which thing I am supposed to do,  the decision we choose cuts apart in two. One of us goes into the Decision A and the other one goes to Decision B. From then as we grow and age in life those sub dimensions continue to grow and branch off into two more branches each time like a genealogy tree! (i.e. Pedigree, Family Tree, Family Generation Chart, etc)

There is a movie I really like that displays this called "Sliding Doors". They show the crooks of how each decision made by that choice branches off and the dimension shifts or changes, per say and so on and so on, etc, etc.

Each of those choices is intertwine with others choices and then it is like a massive web, all interconnected and dimensions after dimensions being made like clockwork, constantly, never ending even.

Based on each of THOSE decisions other choices are then put in front of us. I wonder sometimes if we end up crossing our paths and that is when we feel that "Dejavu" because one of us was there before and we are running into that person , like and older decision and a d a younger decisions that affects the other one, crosses paths, how that will affect the outcomes and perhaps if the choice is incorrect in the universal eyes, then we have to replay it so our higher power moves a few pieces around to make that happen.

I envision this like the movie Monsters Inc. In stead of the characters being Monsters they are decisions instead (god, this would be a great way to teach kids  or preteens about this kind of theoretical stuff  and I could see this animated or CGI even, wouldnt that be kewl if that came true!! Whoa, I just put that out there in the universe!! #SURREAL EEEEEEK!

The story would setup and explain how they intertwine in a brief beforehand descriptive and the first moment where a choice has to be made and a decision is chosen, then you see the one turn into two half's and they each go their own way. They each have a name that relates to the order of which they happened like Decision A would be the first one and we could call him Decision Adam, thus being we will have Decisions characters go up to Z and maybe as a funny could have a decisions qqqqmmmmekdkkdkfk or something like that go by, maybe it would get a rise out of the audience. They will pass each other in the halls of our brains some skateboarding through and some taking their time like a snail and we could even draw that character in that way kind of, and the would be like "Hi Betty and then she would say Hi Wally. We could follow it along and the Decisions would be like sitting on an assembly line almost or like a circuit board and moving very fast like criss crossing elevators at a department store.

There could be this whole story line to it and we cold follow certain lines to play them out and then show how the other decisions life is going?

We could also show them living on a tree and they are more like monkeys swaying from one branch to the other and one taking its time and then other at flying speed. then there is someone telling them to slow down and to let the thoughts marinate more and process more before jumping too fast into those decisions because those are the choices you are going to have to live with for the rest of your life.

Then it would be teaching them , MINDFULNESS, in a subtle, and gentle way to nourish their minds and their souls by helping them see how CRITICAL each decision REALLY is.

We could show this to teens and  show them one girl who decides to have sex and one doesn't and how each girls life is because of her decision. These could be a series of stories on like Drunk Driving, Sex, Where you fit in school, Loser, Jock, Geek and how decision prior to High School shaped what decisions you were faced with now.

Then adulthood doing the same thing.

This is life people. This is real, this IS how it works! I know this ways of thinking is called something even but I don't know what, like maybe it is called theoretical psychology or theoretical "something" and THIS is what I want to go to school for and study and learn about. Like to learn how to be more enlightened and to be able to have a platform to be able to share those theories and to learn what to do with them, goodness, that would be fabulous.

Maybe #SpaceTime , however I think it is something more, at present, I just can't put my finger on it.

Regardless, these are my beliefs.

Everyone one of us is weaving our tapestries for the life we are currently living. In THIS dimension we stay linear, though the other decisions, are affected and they morph, like this picture. The top is like the life we are living now, carefully weaved and every choice and decisions made interweaves something else into it. Then we choose, and that dimension happens.

I do believe that we also could meet that dimension again, that there are others who might be in the same dimension, like the show "Sliders"  and that there are the other parts of us in those dimensions. In this dimension, I can't eat Mushrooms and Coconuts, but somewhere in another dimension is perhaps a me who eats them all, who eats them all but only that, who eat only mushrooms, who eats only coconuts, and the list goes on.

I know as a model and someone as in the light as others, often posting Inspirational Messages with taglines and such, that many would not think that there is a #Philosophical #Theoretical person inside me, though whats funny is that THIS is who I am probably even MORE so, however, being the brain in high school was not the one getting invited to things so I think I put that person away and until this year, until faced with the life experiences that I have had and the way things happened, in addition to finding out this year that I have #Aspergers , that now I don't care and I Am truly putting myself out there and going to share more than just those inspirational messages, I am going to fully share and leave a legacy of who I am for my posterity.

#CTA #CalltoAction #QuestionandAnswer

What are YOUR thoughts on the matter? do you beleive as I do? Do you have other thoughts or beliefs on the topic? I really want to know and would lvoe to speak with you.

Comment below.

Until next time,
XoXo~Trisha Trixie

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

What Love Really Means - Honestly and Truly

Years ago, many many, even when I was in High School. I begged the Lord to send someone who would TRULY love me for me. I cried many tears. My journal has many tear stained pages. Not for who I planned to be, who I wanted to be, but who  I was, then, now and forever. I never ever thought it would come true.

I married my first husband and had two wonderful children from him. Though we argued and he was abusive as was his family in many ways, I knew he was not the one for me. I jumped into another relationship and was sorely disappointing.

Then time , space, the time I needed to do things for me. From 93 to 97 I was alone. I dated but never found anyone that met the qualification. only one...someone to love me for me.

In 1997 I found my second husband and we were married for ten years and suffered MANY many trials. We lost homes, apartments, cars, children, dignity, sanity, humility, we lost it all. We struggled and tried so hard to endure but after ten years, we both just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be the wife he wanted and nor did I want to be. I wanted to be me. Honestly and truly.

In 2007, we broke apart and  not long after I met two wonderful men. One who was not ready for me nor I him. But there was something about him. The other man and I hit it off very well and I dated him for years. We had so much in common, we both loved art, we both loved comic books, we both enjoyed each other's company. He had fun together and when we were together physically, nothing could interrupt us. We had such a strong physical connection that neither of us had with any other and it drew us together. But as much as we tried, we were never fully right for each other. We constantly broke up and got back together. It tore us both apart to be away from each other, but eventually we both ended up leaving the other and suffered the pain and anguish that caused, but we both knew we needed to move on.

And then, HE showed up again in my life. The other man I met in 2007. We were reunited as friends in 2010 and hung out and went to concerts together and was there when the other needed a shoulder to cry on.

After the final breakup of me and my boyfriend, I needed to heal. I needed more time. I knew there was this other man that COULD be the one, but from all the baggage I was still carrying in my past, I needed time to fully heal.

When the time was right, I started dating him and time and years went by and I was blessed to be proposed to in 2-14-14 and we married in 8-15-15.

I call him HunEPants and he calls me HunZPants.

We are that couple that makes you want to barf because we are so cute together.

But the things that makes me love him the most is how he loves me.

Honestly, Truly, Wholly and most of all...


I am so blessed to have him in my life and so blessed to finally know what love really means and finally have someone who loves me for me. Every part of me. He loves me not in spite of my baggage and trials I have been through, but BECAUSE of them.

Thank you Lord for giving me someone who loves me for me.

Xo, Trisha Trixie


Every time I hear this song, I feel like this totally is my life.

I have been through heartache, pain, loss, pain, hurt, anguish, you name it, I feel like I have been through it...but then I hear this song and think

what if all those trials is how the Blessings come into my life?

What if the trails I have suffered through are God's mercies in disguise?

What is the loss, hurt and pain is a blessing to another?

What is all the suffering, adversity and every trial that I have been put through are what it takes for me or perhaps someone else to learn, to grow to understand?

What if, all these things were not even for me to learn or to grow? What if I was chosen, to bear these burdens, to suffer these pains to go through these trials, not even for me, but for others, for someone else?

What is the trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

I am not a White Frog

In my quest to know more about Asperger's, I have started looking for movies that are about this or autism. I found a movie called White Frog. It is about a family dealing with Asperger's in two sons and after the loss of the older son in a fatal accident, the younger son learns more about his brother through his friends and connections and in the end, learns so much more about himself.

Here are some clips on YouTube about the movie...It is also on Netflix and amazing to watch.

Grandma said a long time ago that Vietnamese people used to eat coconut frogs. Oh yeah. Coconut AND frogs. They’d take a coconut and make a small cut and insert a tadpole. Then, a few weeks later, they’d open up the coconut to find a blind frog with white skin.

After a couple weeks, you open the coconut and you’ll see a blind frog with, with white skin. And it’ll have the smoothest skin and the softest coconut flavored meat.

For most of my life, I’ve been like one of those tadpoles growing up in this strange world that never seemed right, but trying my best to fit in to grow into a frog. After spending time at the firehouse, it hit me. Our parents wanted us to be perfect. They had an image of what perfect should be. But in the end, I don’t deserve to live in a coconut. No one does…I am not a white frog and I will not be a white frog. Even if I’m weird or different or strange. 
‘Cause you know what? Everyone is different.
Thank you the makers of this movie. You have helped me see, hear and understand Asperger's in a new light, a new way and a new vision for my own future!

Music Missing Piece from "White Frog"

I love this song and I can understand why so many with Asperger's might resonate with it. 

If you would like the "White Frog" Soundtrack you can find it here:*Version*=1&*entries*=0 (You can listen here)
(I also found it on Spotify)

and of course, on the official web page:

Monday, March 14, 2016

Self Diagnosed (for now) Asperger's or (I Prefer) Aspien Woman

Some of you may have noticed that in my social media, I have posted much more about Autism and Asperger's lately. After the loss of my Mother in Law, Nancy, I have a real hard time and felt prompted to go see my parents and my Uncle and Oldest Sister who all live in New Mexico. I kpet calling my newlywed spouse, oft times in tears of frustration of not being able to help or do what needed to be done to help or even function with everything that went on during my stay. Without unloading family life, let's just say my calm, serene Colorado Life I had gotten quite used to, was all the sudden turned upside down, as I was caught in the midst of family adversity, trials, and issues.

During this time, HunEPants had a dream, which he felt was more of a premonition from his mother Nancy to remind him about a boy with Asperger's he knew from college. In thinking about it, he made a connection to that thought and things I was saying on our calls as well as things I have said in my past. Things like:

  • I don't get jokes
  • I don't get sarcasm
  • I like routines
  • I have SPD-Sensory Processing Disorder
  • I have sight, smell and texture sensitivities
  • Sudden loss of friendships
  • Hard time putting myself in others place 
  • Black and White theory
  • The inability to understand others emotions, facial reactions or gestures
  • No filter, say what I think
  • Constant problems in Marriage, workplace (which is why I like to work for myself), Friendships, difficulty parenting, etc
  • Severely bullied in school
  • Strong interest in subject I like
  • Can get so focused on interest can forget to eat, or function in other ways
  • Dont get hints, clues and social codes and clues
  • Told I talk to fast or too much often
  • Hard time with eye contact
  • Unusual or one sided eating habits (could eat cereal all day)
  • Often misunderstood
  • Too honest
  • Brutal in tolerance for others
  • Highly sensitive to any type of criticism
  • Often clumsy or no idea where bruises come from
  • Used to have anorexia in high school
  • Constant sleeping problems
  • Brain never shuts off
and those are just the high level issues. He remembered in the 5 years we dated and now the half year we have been married, these things I have said over time and thought perhaps he shoudl talk to me about it. He found a site from Tania Marshall from Australia about Aspien Women and took a chance and sent it to me. I gotta say, what faith in our relationship to know that, or believe that I would appreciate this and Not get offended. 

Well, he was right. I did NOT get offended. Instead I felt relief. finally an answer. Finally, something I can relate to, something I resonate with, something I knew, but never had a name for. 

Aspien Woman

I feel so relieved. I feel so much better about knowing this. 

I have become a "Self Advocate" for now. Who know what tomorrow will bring. Through this, I have delved into constant research and knowledge about this "hidden disability" called Asperger's. There are many sites out there, but I really do like Tania's site. It is simple, easy to understand and chalk full of information. There are a few other sites I have found and will continue to find. I am sure this isn't the last you will hear of this from me. I was trying to decided if I wanted to start a new site to talk about this or if this was the space for it and as you see, I decided to keep it here. I have been wanting to write more on this blog this year anyway and perhaps this is the boost I needed to do so. 

I know this topic can make other feel uncomfortable so if you decide to stop following me, I understand and promise not to take it personally. However, it would mean the world to me if you commented, shared and listened (read) my words as I am on this quest for knowledge and understanding of this topic and life.

Here are some of the sites I have favorited or followed so far that I like:

Thank you for reading. Thank you for your love. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Happy Trisha Trixie Tuesday! 2/16/16

Happy Trixie Tuesday!

Ultimate Business Boot Camp Tickets going fast! 

Friday, February 12, 2016

Business Boot Camp Intro with TrishaTrixie™

Go here to get your tickets now!!

Hi there, I am Trisha Trixie, Manifestor or Miracles and Sprinkler of Fabulousness, Life Designer, PinUp Model, Fashion Designer and Love of life!

I help others solve SoloPrenuer and Entrepreneur questions on how to do it all or be the one man or one woman band running the show.

I will be sharing tips on how to use automation to your advantage while still doing things authentically and Go here to get your tickets now!!

Monday, January 18, 2016

Life and Loss

Today started out great. Woke up late. Had breakfast with HunEPants. Made tea. Took a shower. Got dressed. Etc..

I got on my computer and all of a sudden a message came on for my spouse to call his older brother right away.

Oh no. Pit of my stomach dropped. Immediately I mother in law had passed. I just knew it. No one makes a big deal like that unless its death.

I was right. I didn't want to be, but I was. Ben's brother sadly found her when he went to go check on her. She had fallen and they thought it perhaps had been a few days. She lived alone with rabbits, dogs and a cat but none of them could call 911, so who knows how long she was really there. The underlying reason is still unknown. All we know is she is gone. She has passed away. She wasn't even 65.

Sadly, I have had one too many deaths I have had to deal with...

My uncle Harvey when I was 8. My father when I was 10. Grandparents on both sides years later. Best friends father when I was 16 and the list goes on...

This taught me very early on to live in the moment. To say what needs to be said. To talk, share and converse with others regularly. To let someone know you appreciate them and love them. To spend time with them. To show them you care.

Life is meant to be lived.

It really IS that simple.

Nancy had Behcet's and was constantly in pain. No matter what, she hurt. Meds or not.

But that never kept her from loving life, smiling, taking care of her kids and working hard.

Now, she is no longer in pain.

I keep saying to myself today "I am so glad she got to see Ben get married!" To some, that may sound trite, but I do meant it from my heart. It meant a lot to her and I almost feel like that is what she was waiting for. We got married in August and it it barely January now.

We never got to have a Christmas with her and as going to this year. We never got to spend a New Years Eve with her and was going to this year. We didn't get to see her as much because she lived so far. We didn't get to talk to her as much, because life was bust for us all. I could go on with the list of "we never got to's..." but that is pointless.

What it all means is exactly what I say year after year.

Life is meant to be lived. This life is meant to shine.

Stop living vicariously through others. 

Live vicariously through yourself.

Go do that thing you have been wanting to do. Start that business. Ask that person out. Tell someone how you feel. Take risks. Be adventurous. Savour every moment you get. tomorrow, might be the day you don't get it anymore. Cherish the moments and times you have. Put your damn phone down and look up and experience life! Life is in the moments. Capturing them is fine, but don't make your computer, your job, your cellphone, or anything more important that you truly living life and experiencing it.

To add to that, live your life FOR YOU.

Stop living to please everyone.

Stop living to "just get thru this moment" kinda thing. I hear so many people of divorce, live with others just to get thru it. But if you died today, would you wanted to die being unhappy and miserable? No? I didn't think so.

I hear others say, "Ill just work at this job I hate until I can _______. (fill in the blanks)  I'll just be miserable until I can___.

Until you can afford to do something else, until you get on your feet, until whatever. Stop waiting for whatever and live life in the now.

I have no regrets. I never have to worry about someone saying about me "Oh, how sad she never got to live life. She never got to...____" I know. KNOW I have lived a full and well lived life. I know I have done the things I wanted to do. I know I have been who I wanted to be. I know I have lived vicariously through myself and then some.

I am sad that we never got to have a Christmas or New Years Eve or many other holidays with Nancy, however, every moment we had with her was a fabulous blessing.

Like I said, there is one thing I am DEARLY happy that is that she had the chance to be a part of mine and Ben's wedding. She made our arch. She decorated it. She put flowers and lights all over it. She bought champagne glasses so we could toast and she gave us a fabulous and sweet toast as well.

I may have only inherited a mother-in-law for a short amount of time....

but the moments I DID get to spend with her will always live on in my memory!

We love you Nancy Lynn will truly be missed!

Cheers to my mother in law

I  am so so glad she got to see us married

She loved to laugh

She had the sweetest spirit

The best smile

She always made everyone feel loved

She loved to play
She loved to dance
Nancy and Ben

Nancy and Ben

Nancy and Ben
You go girl! Now you can shake it all day long in heaven with no pain, a skip in your step and a smile for always...we love you...we miss will be in our hearts forever!


Trisha Trixie