Sunday, September 05, 2021

Fiat 500 CC Car Conversion

 


The Fiat didn’t start out with all the bells and whistles on it. I decided to do what I could with what I had. Buying a trailer was not an option as the costs were too high since the pandemic had started letting up the supply and demand for a trailer were too high. RVs were out of the price range and even though I did find a Little Guy Trailer that MAYBE the Fiat could tow, it was so close in tow weight, I didn’t want to take the chance. I looked up on Reddit conversions for camping and found one gal who converted her Fiat but taking out the seats but I didn’t want to do that in case I needed them. 

When I first started out I was heading off to go see my mother who we would be using her RV so I didn’t think too much about needed a bed or having space in the back. I packed the car full of things I was going to be giving my mother like books I had borrowed or clothes I felt I no longer needed or wanted. On the way back home however from the first leg of the trip I realized I couldn’t make it all the way back to Colorado and called a KOA campground and luckily was able to get a cabin. I didn’t have a tent yet or think of those things until this happened. Then when I got in the cabin I realized I had no blankets either so I ended up using every coat and shawl I had to cover up. The dude didn’t mind the cabin and in fact, wanted to explore but he still wasn’t quite leash trained as of yet. He loved the car, but at a KOA there were many dogs and I really didn’t want him to get eaten.

Once I got home for the short week before I left again I realized there were a few things I needed to order from Amazon and I needed to figure something else out for traveling in the next few months.

I maneuvered things here or there and kept manifesting that a small bed would show up. Oddly (not odd if you know me as I am known as a Miracle Manifestor) someone in our apartment was getting rid of a trifold toddler bed. I figured if I cut one section of it off it might fit my Fiat and lo and behold it did.



I had been given a gift to get a rack and cargo hold up top and with the budget I had, I was able to get an awning as well added to the rack so I could fully use it for camping.



I used my Bitrefill to get an REI gift card so I could buy a tent and other small items I would need for camping.

Now I felt ready to go for the next two months, which is how long I planned to be gone on the next section of the trip.




Mister Dude, aka The Dude from The Big Lebowski, often known as the Lebowskitty :)

 


I wasn’t about to go anywhere for a long amount of time without Mister Dude. He loves car rides and has traveled with me before when I used to do contract work between Omaha and Des Moines. I got as many comforts for him as possible and made sure he was safe so I didn’t lose him. I bought him a booster seat, a harness, and a leash and we even did leash training before we left. I had his kitty litter in a pan in the passenger side of the back seat so he could go potty whenever he needed to. I had portable food and water trays for him and of course many treats. In the first part of my trip, I failed to buy a portable kitty litter and a cat tent for when we were outside, so that came later. After dumping nearly half the cat litter in the car is when I realized I needed something I could leave in the car and something I could transport. I don’t think every cat is a great traveler and it takes time. I would never have taken Dude on his trip if I didn’t already know he could handle it or enjoy it. As I said, he had traveled with me before I knew how much he loved riding in the car. The funny thing, is as soon as we hit the road he purred so loud I couldn’t even hear the radio. He was definitely a happy Cat Camper!

I will share more about Mister Dude along the way and all his little antics but I want to share my story for now...


Why The Wanderlust Cancer Journey?

 



Memorial weekend in the year 2021 I made a hard decision os top all my treatments. After having done 26 rounds of chemo total, suffered through nine surgeries since my first cancer in 2016, been in and out of ER more times than I could count for a series of side effects, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I have not given up or changed direction. I have tried the conventional and non-conventional treatments and each time they always are surprised I am still here. People that I know that had lesser cancer stages than me are no longer here in this world because they solely followed the doctor and conventional medicine. I don’t want to be those statistics. I want better for myself, my husband, my children, and my family. I will still be considering alternative treatments and am trying many new things but the biggest thing I wanted to do was travel. I want to live. I want to explore. I want out of the life of always living in a box (my house) driving in a box (my car) or working in a box (jobs in cubicles) and I wanted to live.

The most important thing to me, in the beginning, is living this year and whatever years I have left on my terms. I want to live my best life. I want to see my family and friends and let them know how much they mean to me. Little did I know that I would also be hearing how much I meant to them and how I impacted their life. 

I had originally planned to see my mother in September/October of this year but after making this decision I felt that the very first person one should see after making a choice such as this to stop treatment, was my mother.

I called her up and told her my decision. I told her I wanted to come to see her. We made plans to go to the Faywood Hot Springs that we had talked about for years. This time, we finally were going to do it. Even though I had just seen her in May in Santa Fe, New Mexico, I still felt based on my decision, I needed to spend time with my mother.


Saturday, June 12, 2021

Day 1 The Wanderlust Cancer Journey

Let me start by saying I had no expectations for this day only desires and hopes wishes for how the day may go but aside from that I just wanted to let the day happen as it happened ...

I woke too honey pants cuddling with me and sharing some morning time. We got up and had breakfast and then once I got ready we started packing the car. 

 I didn't really have much for the morning time just one of my silly frappuccino drinks from Starbucks that everyone teases me isn't coffee but it's enough of a jolt for me and I like the taste because it reminds me of chocolate however I don't like chocolate which is silly that I like the flavor of these coffees. 

I gave Dixie a heads up when left off was and she came over while I was packing the car and HP was bringing items down to me. 

HP went up to get the last of the items so Dixie and I set our farewells and hugged and like steps that we are started sniffling and she said that she better go before we both start crying.

I pulled out of the garage and ask Ben to take a look at all my lights and of course my left headlamp was out right before I was ready to leave. So I called Colorado Tire and Service and ask them if they could fix my headlamp right away so I could get on the road. They worked it out with me so I said my goodbyes to HP hugging him and kissing him extras even though I hugged and kissed him upstairs before we started packing I feel like when you're heading out on a trip on the road and you never know what's going to happen you can never have too many hugs and kisses.

Dude and I expected to leave from there so we both went and I went to the Colorado Tire and Service. When I got there I put dude in his new little backpack that I bought him and he did so well but I did remember to give him a little Rescue remedy for pets before I left though I think he almost would have enjoyed the trip more had I not but I'll get to that later.

Like a champ they fixed my headlamp right away and they did it out front because I had my car so packed I asked them not to move the seat and the guy was over 6 ft so he said if it's okay with you I'll just fix it out front which I thought was funny and hilarious but totally fine.

Then as we were going on the road I remembered I had one drop off to whole foods so I would let HP know and head on my way but he threw me for a loop when he told me that I had two packages one from Steven and Ann and one from Wendy so I told him I would swing back by since I was going to be nearly right in that area and it was a good thing I did I was able to pick up the packages but moreover I was able to reshift some of my items and realize that the basket I had in the back was not going to work for this trip so I gave it to HP and ran up to go potty while he watched dude in the car and then I gave HP more hugs and kisses and then left.

I went to my friend's house next and joined her on her patio with my kitty cat well she gave me an amazing breakfast burrito and some orange juice and we talked and chatted then she shared with me some basil and cilantro and then gave me a little gift from her mother and herself which was a crocheted headband and a beautiful mala necklace that was so charged with love it made me cry.

I then proceeded on the road to Fairplay and unfortunately hit a great deal of traffic with it being a Saturday a beautiful day everyone on the road and then someone decided they had to move a whole house which of course slows the road when it's only one lane going down a mountain and up a mountain.

When I got here my friend Beth was with her neighbor Sherry and having lunch once I got dude situated with his kitty litter food and water I sat down and had lunch with them once Sherry left I finished unpacking.

Once I had most everything upstairs I started hunting in the vinyls for what records I would like to play 

 So far it's been a fun day and evening just relaxing listening to music and getting a little high enjoying life feeling at peace and totally chilling I went outside missed the sunset but got to look at the stars and see all the beauty All around Me from morning until night it was a good day to have a good day

Subscribe into my YouTube to follow my Vlogs for each day

https://youtu.be/8ecSxNeFBK8


Since the day I made the decision to stop treatment

 Since the day I made the decision to stop treatment, butterflies fill my tummy with happiness, the air seems cleaner and crisper, my heart dances inside my chest and my eyes and ears have begun to hear and see life differently as though it is thru a different lens. 

I have been sitting for a new puppy Koby in my Petsitting biz.

Life seems fuller.

Love is more intense.

Life is peaceful.


Everything is better.


This was the best decision I have made in my life in years.


I am so damn happy and so much at peace.

Friday, June 04, 2021

Support through Patreon for my Wanderlust Cancer Journey



Come follow along my journey of living my wanderlust and wandering this great big world! Instead of conventional cancer treatment for my Stage4 Metastized Colorectal Cancer, I am hitting the open road. It is time to Live my Best Life. It is time for me. It is time to Live Life on My Terms. It is time...


It's gonna be a wild ride!


​If you desire I would thankfully welcome contributions to this journey, so I can eat, get gas for my car, have small amenities, etc. Anything helps. I have no income and currently do not qualify for SSDI. Instead of GoFundME, I am using my Patreon. If you do choose to donate, you can choose any amount (or the one assigned)  and I thank you for any offer. Many blessings to you. 


Choose to support monthly

https://www.patreon.com/mylegacyoflove?fan_landing=true


Or any amount

https://www.patreon.com/join/mylegacyoflove/checkout?rid=0&cadence=1

A Mindful Cancer Journey: Live is Meant to Be Lived...




This is my 3rd metastasis with Colorectal Cancer. I am fully now Stage IV Advanced Metastisized Colorectal Cancer. While I am well now, no matter what I do with current medical practices I will never really "get cured", so to speak. This has thus prompted my decision to end all regular conventional treatment. I find it to be the most mindful decision I can make. To be me. Unapologetically me. Live life on my terms. I find it to be the most mindful thing I can do. Radical Self Love. I am enough. I will be enough. Whatever is to happen is to happen. I will be trying alternatives but in reality, none of us ever know when our time is up. There is no magical device that we can plug into that gives us the exact date. Would we really want to know anyway? Some might say yes. Others would say no. 


Now it is my time to Just Be. Just be me. Just Live. Just live my life. Now is my time to be the most mindful I can be. From my course through Palouse Mindfulness, I learned and adapted so many tools to my cancer battles. RAIN is my favorite. STOP is another one. HALT is the other. These are tools to help me maneuver these rough waters of my life. What he does is so important to the world. I feel that far too often the "so-called gurus" are not really gurus if they always have their hand out asking for the almighty dollar if you want the information that will really help you in life. He is like me, he offers it freely. In our IT house, we call that "Open Source Mindfulness." Open to all. 

I have shared my teachings with others through Toastmasters and other speeches I have given since I took and graduated from the course. It has always been well received. Whether others said they came to Palouse Teachings because of my sharing, I do not know nor really care, but I hope they have. I hope others recognize how powerful and wonderful it is to have this information and I hope they share it with others as well. I pray they become the Ripples for Palouse mindfulness and ripple through their lives to others. Allow themself to be the butterfly to carry the message on their wings and create the Butterfly Effect. 

I am becoming my own butterfly. I am working only second book as well as plan to document my journey. I am hitting the open road in my Tiny Fiat that I have converted to a Tiny Camper. My cat and I are hitting the open road. I am now only speaking my truth but the truth of my journey so that others may not only participate in my journey but hopefully gain insights from my learnings as I have gained from you.

If you choose to follow along, Subscribe here. Follow here. Many have asked me to document my journey and I already had that thought in mind. When thinking about where to do that, I could think of no better place than right here in the blog that started way back in 2005. This is my life. This is my life's work. My life's thoughts. My life's journey. 

There is no sense in creating a separate blog anymore. This is my life. Here on this blog. When I am gone, this will tell of my thoughts. This will tell of my life (at least since 2005). I don't mean to say that to sound morbid, merely truthful.  If you want to learn of me, read here. This blog could be a nice memoir of my life if someone wanted to compile it into a book. I give you permission to do so. Now or later. 

I am looking forward to the next chapter of my life. Maybe it is my last chapter, maybe I have many more to come. Who knows. Not I said the little red hen. :) 

Let's turn the page together and start this new chapter.

Let's live our best lives together.

Life is meant to be lived, not just endured.

Peace be unto you and your soul.

With all my love,

Xoxo Trisha Trixie







Trixie Hunter-Merrill
Faith-Based Transformation Specialist, EmpowerMentor™, The Sprinkler of Fabulousness
Be a Starfish Saver. Make a Difference. Be a Good Human. Inspire the World. Leave a Legacy of Love

Media Packet/Bio:  

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Frequency

 I've been told before that after I leave a room or leave talking with someone that they feel exhausted or worn out after being in my presence.

As a teen and young adult, I was always told I was "too much" and after a while, it got to me. 

I'm not "too much", I am just me. 


Now that I am older and wiser and have connections with mystics and healers and intuitive that what others described as too much is really that I vibrate at such a high frequency, it is a lot to take in. thus making one feel tired or exhausted.


I used to try to squash that person down and not be me.

Then I started being authentic.

Now I am ready to be unapologetically me.

I have Aspergers, I have a version of Bi-polar called Cyclothymia and I am pretty sure I have ADHD but never have been diagnosed.

What is all that?

Labels.

Societal Labels are all it is really. It is others' way of dealing with me. However, what I have found is that not everyone can handle unique people like me.


I have been watching the show "A-Typical" lately and I laugh so hard it hurts sometimes because it is SO damn relatable and plus funny. I relate so much with the main character and I also am able to see things from my siblings' side for once. I am a lot. Growing up I was a lot. 

I was also known as a miracle baby because my mom had experimental chemo and radiation and the doctors wanted to abort me. It was also 3 years after they told my mother she would never have another baby. Then I came along. She asked for a sign so clear a blind man could see it. A locker trunk of clothes showed up at her door full of girls clothes (otherwise she would not have even known it was a girl)

Even early on I had bad shit happen around me.

AT 3 a rake fell o my head and I had to get stitches. (Long story for another day).

At 5 I fell on the only patch of concrete we had on the farm and busted my chin open.

Around 9/10 I tripped over an old metal coat rack and it fell and cracked my head open.

Let me tell you. Life has not been easy these 50 years. Like. AT ALL.

But that is not to say that I didn't have good things. I had many good things in my life. Sometimes I do wonder if the good really DOES outweigh the bad or not?


What I see in the show is when you have a child that has special needs in any way, it can take over the whole family. The sibling in the show often gets the brunt of everything. She tries to talk and the parents are worried about Sam, the autistic teen instead. The sibling gets completely overlooked until the new boyfriend stands up and reminds them they had more than one child.

Like much of my recent life and recent past month, I have really been hyper-aware and knowledge is just downloading so fast I can't get it back out fast enough for others.


I think I have always vibrated at a high frequency. 

I think the is a connective reason.

.

.

.

I chose to be here. I wanted this life. I knew this life would teach me what I needed to further ascend.

I know we all have a purpose.

I am living my purpose (or at least the one I think is most correct)

The more I learn and evolve I think my vibration and frequency just get stronger and that is why people leave your life during times like this and only the ones who were meant to end up staying.


Because the others can't handle the vibrancy.


It all makes sense now.


I am not "too much"

my vibration is just too strong for some to handle.


I am unique.


That uniqueness has allowed me to live a life with actually a lot of freedom to explore my world, careers, interests, and so on.

So yes I know a lot about a lot. I am not being egotistical like a "know it all" because I don't know it all, but I do know alot. I have lived a lot. I have loved a lot.


It has been said I am "not like any other woman I have ever met" sometimes I have been told I am "not like any other PERSON they have ever met."

They would be right.

My frequency is not right for your ears.

Perhaps I am for another land or another timeline or perhaps

you need to reset your frequency :)


XO Trixie








Sunday, March 21, 2021

7 Calls

 7 calls later...


I finally give in.


I selfishly am sad because I just went through calling 7 different people and none picked up.

I say "selfishly" because while I know and realize they have their own lives, I want them to answer because I am having a "moment" and needed someone to talk to for just five minutes.

I even called my therapist and HE didn't even answer.


Tomorrow I find out my results of what the doctors desire me to do.


Are we doing chemo, radiation, surgery? One or all? Which order?


I must be anxious.


Also, I got my first Covid Vaccine Saturday, Mar 20th, and my head hurts but my arm feels like it is going to fall off it hurts so much.


Then Hunepants and I were struggling to converse today. That was odd.


IS the moon off or something? Did somebody move the moon?


I really wanted to talk to one of those people. The hard part is I can't share that on social media because then people say "Why didn't you call me?"


Well, I realized something. 


I reach out to specific people because I am looking for someone to just let me be and let me feel what I want but to be there with me, to understand. Not pity, not diatribes of "You got this" bullshit, or "Hang in there"


Have ya all thought, maybe I don't want to hang in there? Geesh I'm tired.


My body has been through a lot.


I'm not in the mood for pep talks. I can do that on my own.


Sometimes I just need the right person, the right mix of "I am holding space for you" and "My heart goes out to you"


Sigh.


IT really sucks when people don't answer when you need them. :(

Monday, March 01, 2021

The Cancer is Back 2021




Yes, you read that title right. 3rd time, cancer has now metastasized down towards my rectal area. I am now considered Stage 4 Metastitzed Colorectal Cancer and will have to take maintenance medication for the rest of my life or I will cease to exist.

That is a lot to take in.

I just found out Friday and today is Monday.

I have been answering calls, texts, emails since I shared the news.

All I have been through and fought for us to make sure I am ok because I have been in so much pain and no one seemed to want to listen until now, is a lot.

I just had hernia surgery and we waited eight weeks instead of four for me to get treatment and the mass doubled. What that tells us is that we can't put off treatments. With that, we are moving up my treatments to every 3 weeks.

I also have a bulging disc in that same general region.

That has been the hardest through this...fighting doctors, trying to get people to listen to me.

Sometimes, it is people who say they are my friends and argue with me. People tell me "If you are looking for monsters, you will find them." I want to scream and yell at them. I want to ask,

"So I just live in miserable pain and not try to find answers?"

It makes me crazy.

I know since Facebook has grown I have not written on here as much but I feel it is important to try to keep sharing my journey on here because part of my leaving a legacy of love is the ability to help others. If this blog in any way can help another, I am all for it.

I don't know what this means for me in the coming months, but we have recently been trying to travel abroad more or even live abroad and this does change that somewhat. We still will travel but I need to be close to home more.

We are going to look at home in Colorado and find someplace that is near to RMCC, Rocky Mountain Cancer Centers as much as possible within our price range. 

We are still going to travel but maybe even sooner.

I am going to see friends and family, I am going to travel.

I refuse to let Cancer define me or rule my life.

I refuse to let others rule my life.

I refuse to be in this pain.

Most of all I reuse to lie down and die.

I am still vibrant in MANY other ways and I still have a legacy of love to leave! <3


XOXO Trisha Trixie

Sunday, February 28, 2021

That One Perfect Star

I've been watching Zack and Mia and he just started telling a story about his sister who put stars all over the room to Brighton him up and then he ended up moving from that room but there was one perfect star that was large and bright and that's the star that they ended up leaving in the room


the Stars still waits in the room above the bed to comfort the next person who needs it 

Thats what we can do for each other

Maybe the star shines to say"you're not the first person to go through this and you probably won't be the last, I'm here for you.

Maybe it  shines to say there's still time for you to shine

If cancer takes us out of this world there's still one part of us left... And that's the part that glows.

 Zac summed up my Legacy of Love, right there . Thank you Zac.

As for me, I know, I have left so many stars all over, I'll be glowing in people's hearts for years to come. 

Go ahead Cancer!! You do your bidding and take your best swing because no matter if you hit or miss, I plan to love this earth so hard, in whatever time I have left, that my legacy of love will never stop glowing!

http://adgb.blogspot.com/2021/02/that-one-perfect-star.html!

Trisha Trixie ❤️