Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to rise above?

What do you wish to rise above?

I wish to rise above the ashes
left in the aftermath of my life
I wish to rise above the soot
left stuck to me once it is all over
I wish to rise above the theory
that I am a victim or target or broken girl
or that I should have learned what I am learning now
I wish to rise above
my past
and relish in my future
I wish to rise above the pain
of those who have harmed me or hurt me
I wish to rise above my failures
and see them as success that help me live, learn and grow
and be the wonderful, stupendous and amazing woman that I am
I wish to rise above the drama
that others bring to me, that I carry or that is self created
Wish to rise above gossip, back talk and defeating and depleting words about or to others
I wish to rise above any hate I feel
and cherish the things I love more
I wish to rise above the I can'ts or I shoulds of this world
and instead be the I can, I will, I go, I do
I wish to rise above
trying too hard to rise above
and just be
just let life live within me

I wish to rise above it all
and Just enjoy the show...

2 Things I do

In thinking about my 5 Questions I got to remember that there are two things I do on a regular basis.

I did it this morning and I do it every morning....

I fill out these sheets to help me get my brain focused.

The first one is What I Trust.

What I Trust helps me to see the things that are real and the truths behind it. Sometimes it is people I trust and sometimes it is a simple thing like I know the sun will rise.

The second sheet is called What I Know.

This helps me to focus on the things I truly Know not the things I think may be true or are the truths i my head. If I am questioning something I leave it off of here. This sheet is only for Things I know.

These two worksheets are very helpful in starting my day off right. Most especially if you are feeling like you don't have clear thought or not sure about things and don't know who or what to trust, this is a good starter.

My Questions

One of my favorite bloggers is also my new relationship coach through a course I am taking called The Bad Ass Broad Workshop. She posted about the five questions she asks herself each day. 

What will make me feel proud today?
What will make me feel secure?
What work needs to be done (tasks) so I can feel peaceful?
What is the life I really want?
What is the next best thing to do?

That’s a hard one for me. I don’t usually or generally narrow things down like that but I will try my best. I made one decision first...

I need to do some research before choosing my 5 questions...

I want to start first with listing the questions from my Decision Rules book.

I learned these things from Brave Girls Soul Restoration 1 and 2

MAKING YOUR OWN RULES
a. identifying what you will and will not put up with in your life
b. making non-negotiable rules about what is and is not ok in your life
c. identifying what motivates you and what demotivates you
d. deciding ONCE AND FOR ALL that this is how you want to live, how you want to feel, how you want each day to go, how you want to spend your time

These questions are from our Rule Book we made:

How I will make my Decisions: My Personal Rules

•  
• ·         Is this really what I want in life?
• ·         Does this Decision support my highest spiritual beliefs, values and promises?
• ·         Will I be able to be exactly who I am, and feel appreciated and accepted for being exactly who I am if I make this decision?
• ·         Will this help me to be my highest and best self, centered around all of my most important values?
• ·         Do I want this decision to become a part of the story I am writing about my life each day?
• ·         Am I making this decision based on old beliefs about myself & others that are still lingering, or on truths that I know now?
• ·         Am I doing this for my own heart and gut or am I trying to do this for someone else?
• ·         Am I making this decision to honor my potential or because I am afraid of my potential
• ·         Will I have time in my life to rest and recharge if I make this decision?
• ·         Will I be able to keep my promises to those I love if I make this decision?
• ·         Will others be able to control my decisions and my time? Am I ok with that?
• ·         Is this decision causing me to give up something that is more precious to me than the decision is?
• ·         Can I joyfully and thankfully work with the people who would have to be involved if I made this decision?
• ·         Am I going to enjoy the results of making this decision, is it going to be fun?
• ·         Will this choice result in the kind of result, reward or gratification that I am truly seeking and yearning for?
• ·         Will I be taking the best care of my body and soul if I make this decision?
• ·         Am I being treated with kindness and respect by everyone involved?
• ·         Am I making this decision from the bravest, most soulful and authentic part of myself?
• ·         Will I be proud of this decision 5 years from now?
• ·         Am I making this decision so that I can grow into the kind of person that I want to become, or will it feel like going backwards?
• ·         Will other people that I love and respect gain value from me making this decision?
• ·         Have I thought through all the consequences of making this decision and am I willing to take responsibility for every one of them?
• ·         Am I rushing into this decisions before the time is right?
• ·         Will this decision inspire me to be my very best self?
• ·         Will I feel like I have to hide this  decision from anyone who I love and respect? Why would I have to hide it?
• ·         Am I willing to sacrifice by doing difficult, tedious and scary stuff that will come along me making this decision?
• ·         Will this hurt my family in any way?
• ·         Will I have to go into debt in any way if I make this decision?
• ·         Will this choice challenge me or keep me comfortable?
• ·         Will this decision bring me bliss or stress me out?
• ·         Am I making this decision from fear or faith?

I decided to go over my old homework on this and remembered my Roadmap to Success for more research

http://adgb.blogspot.com/2011/07/roadmap-to-success.html

Quotes I really liked that jumped out at me:

• I want to remember that I am not my mistakes and that my mistakes do not get to define me
• I want to remember to shut out all of the outside voices, and to stay true to everything I believe about myself and my mission, no matter how weird it may seem to the outside world
• I want to remember that change in my attitude can get me through just about anything
• I want to remember that I am not perfect and never will be. I am good at a lot of things and I struggle at lots of things, this is the joy of life
• I want to remember that GOOD things can be enormous distractions from the things that are best and that its a constant battle to sacrifice what is good
• I want to remember that discipline takes practice, daily, hourly practice, its a learned , acquired behavior and not something I was born with
• I want to remember it is SO important WHO I choose to spend my time with
• I want to remember that sometimes I just have to get through the boring stuff to get to the good parts and that there is always always a new fun way to make things more fun during this time
• I want to remember I have done difficult things and I can do difficult things
• I want to remember the people I love are the most important in the world
• I want to remember love is worth fighting for
• I want to really really really keep in my mind and heart my end goal and if its still what I truly want each day, I want to remember that I will have to work hard every day and in the end...it WILL be worth it!

I need to take in and account for and remember my Mission Statements

http://adgb.blogspot.com/2011/09/mission-statements.html

Mini Mission Statement

I will remember in all things that I do, that I want to guide my life & my decisions with these qualities that I value most:

~Always remain classy in all endeavors
~Have strength & originality in who I am
~Be a constructive member of society
~Achieve my goals, dreams, aspirations while making new ones
~Have a passion and a purpose in life
~Have importance & meaning in the things I do
~Believe in others, but always believe in myself
~Have loyalty with others
~Raise confidence in others
~Bring joy to others
~Faith, hope,charity & non conformity are not allow mottos for me but a way of life

In making decisions I need to remember and honor my Values. I found my values cards and put them back on my wall.

http://art-a-day-keeps-the-crazies-away.blogspot.com/2011/04/values-cards.html

1. Respect Others
2. Treat everyone Fairly
3. Treat everyone as people
4. Build Trust
5. Build Relationships
6. Outshine Competitors
7. Outperform competitors
8. Cultivate a Happy Environment
9. Respond skillfully to difficult & challenging people
10. Be open to opportunity
11. Make a significant difference
12. Have a deeper loyalty with others
13. Have passion & purpose
14. Success is more than a financial return on an investment
15. Promote well being in others
16. To have importance & meaning in everything we do
17. Regard every person highly
18. To ensure we benefit the people as a whole
19. Commitment to our purpose
20. Have strength and originality in who we are
21. Be overly generous
22. Be considerate to everyone
23. Be kind one to another
24. Always remain classy in all our endeavors
25. Raise confidence in others to move forward in life
26. Believe in others, but mostly always believe in yourself
27. Achieve our goals while making new ones
28. Love one another
29. Be beautiful on the inside and out
30. Be a constructive member of society

My Added Bonus  31. Don’t be afraid to leap!

So to sum up here are the questions I live by on a most regular basis to help make up my mind and my decisions I ask myself often:

1.       Will I be able to be exactly who I am, and feel appreciated and accepted for being exactly who I am if I make this decision?
2.       Will this help me to be my highest and best self, centered around all of my most important values?
3.       Do I want this decision to become a part of the story I am writing about my life each day?
4.       Am I making this decision to honor my potential or because I am afraid of my potential
5.       Am I making this decision so that I can grow into the kind of person that I want to become, or will it feel like going backwards?
6.       Does it meet all my needs Emotional, Spiritual, Physical and Mental?
7.       Do I want this or need this? If I want it can I do with out it? If I need it, do I need it right now?
8.       Am I making this decision from fear or faith?
9.       Will this choice result in the kind of result, reward or gratification that I am truly seeking and yearning for?
10.   Is this decision going to allow me to honor my self respect?

Now my task at hand is to find 5 questions like Stephanie did to ask myself daily tha tI can honor and live by fully and whole heartedly....more to come...stay tuned!! 

Dating with Interest

Two more months and I go back to dating again. I mean REAL dating. Dating with "Interest" I guess. I have decided to follow the path of a Coach of mine and not date during this time. As she said, it bring new enlightenment to one's mind. I went on a date the other day but it was with someone I am comfortable with and it feels more like "hanging out" than a date sometimes. I don't know, as I said...it is not the same...it is not "Dating with Interest"

I know lately I have touted about being Risky and being strong...Being Courageous and Fearless. Being a Bad Ass Broad...well I am getting there...just not there yet.

I went back and looked at my old blogs about dating and there are some I wanted to share with you that really pop out to me.

My top hitter is the Circus Act of Dating

 Live and Learn

Boundaries

It's Ok to Be Alone

Save Me

I am NOT too much

Should Have Been Me

In the end it boils down to what I want, what I am willing to take and what is important to me.

I want Acceptance like I said here

But even a year ago I boldly stated my Romance Wants/Needs

Maybe it Should have been me...but it wasn't. Yes, That is the reality of it all. It wasn't.

I am learning to accept that the truth is what the truth is...

For four years he said he didn't want to get married...That is a lie. He did want to get married...just not to me...I was what everyone said I was...the Rebound girl.

It's ok.

I accept my fate.

I don't have to like it, but I always don't have to swallow it whole or swim in it...and I don't anymore.

IT hurts. Yes. He is making wedding plans with her. Yes ouch that stings. But I accept that my world will not cave in. I can breathe without him. I can function without him. I can't get over that I still want him, but how often in life do we get what we want? Not often. We get what we need. He doesn't need me anymore. I have served my purpose for him...I was the Placeholder for her. I hope she appreciates it.

By the time the Bad Ass Broad class is over it will be time to truly date again...the questions that lays upon the table now is...will I?

I fear putting myself out there again. My friend said the oddest thing to me but it was so truthful is was surreal.

The comment was "I have never been through a breakup so bad that I was left with a Fear of Commitment, along with the Fear of hurting someone else's heart in the process" then they went on to say "Don't see right there, that is what makes you so desirable and unique. You care about you, but you care about others intertwined into your emotions. Not many people are like that. Most are hurt and they set out to hurt others or most are fearful and don't try. But you, you try, you reach, you are Brave and yet there is a Tenderness a softness a gentleness inside you thinking of someone else....you really ARE a RARE individual"

Yes, but I really am DEARLY afraid that they will see me for everything I am...and still choose someone else...this happens in business, this happens in relationship...but I do know why...

THEY are afraid. They are afraid I will leave. They are afraid I will choose someone or something else.

Or at least I am hoping that's what it is.

Regardless I don't have to fret about it for now...but the thoughts are still rooted deep inside me.

For now, I am just trying to not think about the fact that he is moving on. He is not coming back. He does not want me back. He always loved her. He never loved me. I was the rebound.  I need to move on. Iwill move on. I will survive. I will be stronger.

I am stronger.

I am Bad Ass.

Once I start Dating again...watch out! Right?! RIGHT ON! POW POW

Risky Business

I was talking to a friend last night about being more social. I was trying to understand Social Anxiety disorder. He said when talking to others he feels like he is reaching really far out, like he is on a limb or a ledge and it scares him. Then he asked me what that feeling was and I blatantly stated,

RISK...it's risk.

YES, he says. Ok Risk.

He is afraid of what others will think of him. He is afraid that others will judge him. He is afraid he will do or say something that is embarrassing and he would rather not talk to anyone at all than the fear of being embarrassed.

People tell me al the time I am Brave, I am Strong, I am Courageous, I am Fearless...I finally realized it last night...it is because I am a Risk Taker.

In high school I was left behind, people didn't' want me or they were too afraid to tell me.I felt less than. I felt like why would anyone want to get to know me. I felt not good enough. I felt the "If I was...BLANK" If I was prettier, if I was more popular, if I talked less, if I talked more, if if if.

I am also one known to have "Filet of Sole" as in put my foot in my mouth syndrome. I know I may say the wrong thing or act the wrong way but that is part of leaning life. These events may embarrass me but instead of allowing that to keep me down, I understand know this may happen and so I go with the flow. I act like I meant to be embarrassed or that I didn't' even notice. If I offend someone I apologize. But in the end I know that not talking to other will do me more of a disservice than talking to them.

You never know when meeting someone or talking to them, who they might know, what they do, where they can lead you or what connections they might have. Every talking moment could lead to a potential something else.

I am willing to take the risk that it might not be anything, that I could say or do something wrong, but I am also willing to take the risk that it could be great and it could lead me to other things, other contacts, other potentials.

I feel this way about most things in my life right now. I am making huge leaps and bounds from where I was one to two months ago. I am getting back on track. It is not to say I am not scared or frightened, because I am. But I am not going to allow fear to rule me.

I now have shot three different types of guns, I learned how to train and walk a dog, I learned what I like and don't like about vacationing in small towns, I have learned to be stronger, snarky, and now I am learning how to be a Bad Ass Kick Ass Broad!

I am not afraid to go to Networking events, conferences, take risks in business or in life. I know there potential is great, I have seen my risks make me a better person, make my life grow and make my business grow. In the end, the risk is worth he chance for greatness.

As the image says below...

There's a time for playing it safe

and a time for Risky Business!

There is a new Sheriff in town...Bad Ass Kick Ass Trisha...Watch out!

Word to all...Fair Warning there is a new Sheriff in town...Bad Ass Kick Ass Trisha...Watch out!

I am done getting walked on. I am done getting shit all over. I am tired of cleaning myself up after everyone else has walked on me, stomped on me, left me in the dirt, blamed me, or pointed their finger instead of themselves.

I am tired of men using me for sex, making unwanted and unwarranted sexual advances toward me on Social Media or in public, rude remarks or treating my Social Media space like it is a hook up wall. I will not tolerate nasty, snide, crude, rude or offensive remarks to be posted anymore. If you do this, there will not be room for apologies, FB Messages or excuses. YOU WILL BE DELETED AND BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY. I am done allowing men to treat me badly, string me along, or keep me on a hook. I will protect my Soul House Fiercely. You will treat me like a lady or you will be banished.

Friends will be sincere and kind to me in their remarks and comments to things I post. If you don't like it, UN-FRIEND ME! There is no room in anyone's life for Toxic people or Toxic situations. Those days are of my past not my present and NOT my future. You are allowed to your opinion though it should come with respect. If you are unable to share your opinion without respect, there's the door...see yourself out and don't let it hit you in the Ass on the way out!!

Business contacts and connections will treat me like the equal that I am and stop talking down to me. I have just as much knowledge, brains and power as you, maybe sometimes more. Just because you had capital, investors or daddy's and mommy's with big bank accounts does not make you a success!

The New Radical Fierce Self Respecting Trisha is here to stay so you all better get used to it or GTFO! You thought I was weird unusual or "crazy" before...well, you all are gonna see a new kind of Bad Ass Kick Ass Krazy from me with a capital "K" you aint never seen before! Watch out world...here comes KRAZY Miss Trisha!! POW POW!

Lessons learned from Stephanie St. Claire's Blissbombed Bad Ass Broad Workshop!!
www.blissbombed.com

Eat, Pray..Flaws...Love me for Me

“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each others personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

flaw

noun

1.a feature that mars the perfection of something; defect; fault: beauty without flaw; the flaws in our plan.

2.a defect impairing legal soundness or validity.

3.a crack, break, breach, or rent

Break. I am not the Broken Girl anymore. I have learned to accept however that I have flaws. I have Character Flaws, I have Relationship Flaws, I have Family Flaws, I have Personal Flaws. 

Reality Check. We all have flaws.  No one is perfect.

As the above quote suggests, we all want to fall in love with the good parts of people but are unwilling to accept their flaws. Isn't love about accepting those flaws and loving them anyway?  Isn't love about not just that but being introspective  and looking int he mirror and saying to yourself, "Hey I have flaws to and my mate accepts me so I accept them?"

I have a guy friend who called me to ask about a girl he met online. She was great and they connected and he thought she was wonderful. He felt like he wanted to be with forever and they were almost ready to meet her parents after 2 weeks of getting to know each other online. Then he met her. She was a big girl and he was real and open enough to admit that he could NOT get past that, but he liked everything about her but this.

My comment was this" You need to ask yourself,  if this person, right now that you see in front of you, her for her weight and all her flaws never changes and stays the same as she is now, could you deal with that? If not you have to end it now. You owe it to her to end it now and not drag her on for years thus tearing both of your hearts apart at the end." 

Two days later he broke it off. 

This is like the quote above. You have to ask yourself if you can accept them for who they are not and not be a Victim of Your Own Optimism

Sometimes we are purposely looking for the flaws but not for the reasons we think. As this picture depicts, there are times we look for the flaws out of fear. We see something real and true and honest and think, "That's not real. That is a flaw." When in reality the flaw is looking at it AS a flaw.

For me, this is when I used to run. I am not a runner anymore. I am facing my demons, my flaws, my cracks. I am going back to reality to face it head on and deal with it. I am done running. Now I see the truth for what it is in front of me and I accept it for what it is.

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage 

This is something I wrestle with. I have had some very close, endearing, long term, meaningful, personal relationships with men. They have seen me at my weakest, ugliest, sordid, flawing moments...and for those FLAWS they let me go. This reality alone was not easy to take, I won't lie. If you follow my blog you know I did not handle it well. I am not like that now. I see that this is the case and though the sting of the thought of that pains me internally, the logical part of me says, "Then take it in, dust yourself off and move on." If they couldn't' accept me for me, then why would I want to be with them? Why would I accept anything less? I deserve more. I will have more...one day.

 I have shared this MANY  times before but it just speaks to me I guess. It is what I desire more than anything...more and more, recent breakup, failed marriages, failed dating...I jsut what someone

To Love me For Me, this is What Love Really Means.

I guess I never realized until I took this time away what it is I wanted more than anything...what I YEARNED for, What I LONGED for, What I NEED and what I WANT...

Acceptance

I just want to be accepted for whom I am and the me I am, breaks, cracks, differences, mistakes, 

flaws and all...

I want someone to Love me for Me

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish for your future?

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish for your future?

Is that a loaded question? LOL

Ya , know I am not sure if I know the answer to that on larger scale anymore...

"Future" is a relative term perhaps. What is "Future" to you could be 5 years

"Future" to me right now is the next ten minutes... ok maybe a little longer but not too far out...

So I will start with the simple things I DO know...

I wish for Happiness

I wish for Hope

I wish for Health

I wish for Wealth

I wish for Success

I wish for Knowledge

I wish for Confidence

I wish for Strength

I wish for Love

I wish for Marriage

I wish for my Art to get noticed, spread and bought 

and I wish for it to one day be in a gallery

I wish to have a thriving business, supplementing me with the proper amount of residual income I need to survive and have a little fluff at the end of the day,

(ok these are bit more futuristic far away)

I wish to travel to Hawaii, Alaska, Maryland, Corpus Christi (for now),

I one day wish to travel to Paris (again)

and yes, one day I hope to go to Greece...even if it has to be on my own,

I wish to be able to keep checking things off my bucket list like...

I wish to learn how to shoot a gun (done)

I wish how to train a dog (done)

I wish sit a Natural Hot Springs (done)

I wish to drive a 4 wheeler ATV snowplow (done)

I wish to go Zip Lining (soon)

I wish to learn Skeet Shooting

I wish to learn French (learning)

I wish to learn Archery (kinda)

I wish to learn Scuba Diving

I wish to Draw more (In Process)

I wish to learn Digital Art (In Process)

and the wish that I wish

most of all

is to Shine...

for shining rays can't help but reach out and touch another life...

This are my wishes? What are yours? 

As you wish, I wish for you also...

XOXO Trisha Trixie

Glitter in the Air

This video really touched my heart today... My comments regarding it are at the end...




"Glitter In The Air"

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted? (Yes, but will I be able to trust again?)
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, "I just don't care"?
(Yes and it felt amazing)

It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning
The breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?
(Yes, I feel I am there now)

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
You're whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry? (Yes, will I ever feel that again?)
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breath before the kiss
And the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La La La La La La La La

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee,
Calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight?
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?
Tonight

(I am at the half past of point of no return. The breath before the phrase. The walk before the run. The fear before the flames...yes, yes I have felt this way...I have asked myself if it will get better and I can now answer myself and say...it already is...it already is)

Wishcasting Wednesday: What is your spirit wishing for?

 Wishcasting Wednesday: What is your spirit wishing for?

Miracles

Trying New Things

While I am here I am not only willing but hoping ans asking to try new things. Many of those things I would never do before stating I was weak or frail or someone like me could NEVER do that! Well, it just so happens I got the chance to do  few of those things.

4 Wheel Snow Plowing!

The ATV had a cover and is a utility 4 wheeler and my friend Cindy showed me how to maneuver it so we could snow plow her Log Hill house that is up in the mountains. If we don't plow it on a regular basis the snow would be there until June she said! WOW!

I took my camera with me so we could even document the adventure!

Me the hick in the plow

The road I helped plow

Homemade jerky I made her stop by

 GUNS!

Then today we went back up to the hill and went shooting. Cindy set up the targets and taught me the basics of shooting. Holding a gun, learning the basics of a gun and shooting were towards the top on my bucket list. I had a fun day and released a lot of fears.

This little snubnose 38 was my fav

Cindy setting up the target

the guns outside on the tarp

the board for our butts :)

The target

My ear cover

The target after we both were done

Me with a Hunting Rifle (this was heavy but I hit my target)

Semi Automatic (kept sticking but fun for what I got to shoot)

Snubnose .38 (my fav)

The shells afterwards

Exploring new things has been fun for me but even more so being able release fears about things like guns that I had has been an amazing experience for me. I continually hear that if you do things you are afraid of in life, it will help you in other areas of your life, like work, business, etc.

Little by little I am releasing those fears and learning about new things I have always wanted to do and try.

I drove an ATV before when I visited Colorado another time and that one was more recreational than this one, where this was more utility. IT was harder to hold, but still fun. I think I would really like to do 4 wheeling more often.

I enjoyed shooting the guns and now want more than ever to go to a concealed weapons class as well as learn how to skill shoot a handgun and also how to skeet shoot.

The "Miss Priss" in me before believed others when they said I couldn't' do this or wouldn't' like it. Well, what do they know. In fact, I loved it! ALOT!

Over and over I am reminded by these things to not believe what others say to you and to stop swallowing it whole. I need to be me, myself. I need to stand up for myself and be how I want to be. I need to stand up for myself and do the things I want to do.

The people in my life are either going to accept that, or they can just get outta my soul house! :)

One step at a time I am getting my Bad Ass, Kick Ass together.

Watch out world...here I come!