Saturday, March 17, 2012

Eat, Pray..Flaws...Love me for Me

“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each others personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage


1.a feature that mars the perfection of something; defect; fault: beauty without flaw; the flaws in our plan.
2.a defect impairing legal soundness or validity.
3.a crack, break, breach, or rent
Break. I am not the Broken Girl anymore. I have learned to accept however that I have flaws. I have Character Flaws, I have Relationship Flaws, I have Family Flaws, I have Personal Flaws. 
Reality Check. We all have flaws.  No one is perfect.

As the above quote suggests, we all want to fall in love with the good parts of people but are unwilling to accept their flaws. Isn't love about accepting those flaws and loving them anyway?  Isn't love about not just that but being introspective  and looking int he mirror and saying to yourself, "Hey I have flaws to and my mate accepts me so I accept them?"
I have a guy friend who called me to ask about a girl he met online. She was great and they connected and he thought she was wonderful. He felt like he wanted to be with forever and they were almost ready to meet her parents after 2 weeks of getting to know each other online. Then he met her. She was a big girl and he was real and open enough to admit that he could NOT get past that, but he liked everything about her but this.

My comment was this" You need to ask yourself,  if this person, right now that you see in front of you, her for her weight and all her flaws never changes and stays the same as she is now, could you deal with that? If not you have to end it now. You owe it to her to end it now and not drag her on for years thus tearing both of your hearts apart at the end." 

Two days later he broke it off. 
This is like the quote above. You have to ask yourself if you can accept them for who they are not and not be a Victim of Your Own Optimism
Sometimes we are purposely looking for the flaws but not for the reasons we think. As this picture depicts, there are times we look for the flaws out of fear. We see something real and true and honest and think, "That's not real. That is a flaw." When in reality the flaw is looking at it AS a flaw.

For me, this is when I used to run. I am not a runner anymore. I am facing my demons, my flaws, my cracks. I am going back to reality to face it head on and deal with it. I am done running. Now I see the truth for what it is in front of me and I accept it for what it is.

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage 

This is something I wrestle with. I have had some very close, endearing, long term, meaningful, personal relationships with men. They have seen me at my weakest, ugliest, sordid, flawing moments...and for those FLAWS they let me go. This reality alone was not easy to take, I won't lie. If you follow my blog you know I did not handle it well. I am not like that now. I see that this is the case and though the sting of the thought of that pains me internally, the logical part of me says, "Then take it in, dust yourself off and move on." If they couldn't' accept me for me, then why would I want to be with them? Why would I accept anything less? I deserve more. I will have day.

 I have shared this MANY  times before but it just speaks to me I guess. It is what I desire more than anything...more and more, recent breakup, failed marriages, failed dating...I jsut what someone

To Love me For Me, this is What Love Really Means.

I guess I never realized until I took this time away what it is I wanted more than anything...what I YEARNED for, What I LONGED for, What I NEED and what I WANT...


I just want to be accepted for whom I am and the me I am, breaks, cracks, differences, mistakes, 
flaws and all...

I want someone to Love me for Me

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