Sunday, March 13, 2011

Save Me

I love the sound of JJ Heller. her voice soothes my soul, though this morning it was making me cry. not because I was sad really but because the words of her songs like Your Hands, and Love Me and just everything off her album was resonating with me today.



The Song Save Me


was especially resonating. Here are the lyrics

Living
Am I really living
Or am I just existing
Hiding away


Danger
The world is full of danger
But if I never try to go outside
My heart will waste away

Come and save me
You’re the only source of all the peace I need
Come and save me

You tell me life will not be pain free
What will be will always be in your control
Darkness is light to you
And all you ask me to do
Is trust what you say is true

You are stronger
Than any terrible possible scenario today
Come and save me
You’re the only source of all the peace I need
Come and save me

Save me …


That one hit me the most I guess because I CHOOSE to live. Am I really living? I would say mostly yes and those who know me would say so. The hardest part I feel is not me. I always feel like I could do more but the issue is more with others. Are others "living"? I constantly ask the guys I am dating the questions that go to this. What are you doing in your life? Are you moving forward? Where is your progression?

But the biggest to me really is "What are you doing to make a difference?" I don't really ask it but it is an underlying question I am looking for. The above answers end up answering it or not.

The circle and cycle of I DON"T KNOW's from guys is what gets me the most. I just don't think I can handle that anymore. Is there not anyone out there of the opposite sex who has got their life together at least a little and knows SOMETHING of their life?

I am not expecting too much. I used to think I was. But I don't anymore. At near 40 I feel like I have a REALLY good idea of what I want and what I don't. what I WILL put up and what i won't. what I can go through again, and what I can't. What are my deal breakers and what are the one's I can wait and see how it plays out.

Guess what? That SCARES THE HELL OUTTA GUYS!

They want to say you are expecting too much, you are crazy, you are spoiled, you think it's all about you and you have to give in and compromise sometimes...

um...no...I don't.

maybe you need "A girl like me" to shake you up a bit. I keep hearing things like "How do I get a girl like you? I will never get a girl like you. You are an amazing girl I hope to have someone in my life like you someday."

WELLLLL, whay not know. Stir your life up, throw in some spices and get it together. Only you can do that. No one else can.

A girl like me...wants you to be at least having your pointer dog point you in a forward direction...following him would be nice thank you. :)