Thursday, March 03, 2011

It's ok to be Alone

 

I am ever so so grateful for other bloggers.I have a new unity in this endeavor. I never thought at this point in my life that I would finally come into my own and finally make girlfriend friends. I don't know if something inherit in me all of a sudden turned on like a light switch in the dark, but it happened, this year and almost instinctively as January 2011 rolled into play. I have been a member of Brave Girls for some time, but as soon as I started class one of Soul Restoration, almost as soon as the first video minute played something literally clicked inside my head. 

I have been following another blogger for some time and have always supported her and wrote a comment here or there but again THIS YEAR my comments in support of her got stronger. Perhaps it was because I started seeing her in my life. Up until this year I have been in a long term relationship and so the comments in her single life were more reminiscent of my past not my present. But now, I am a part of that single world like her too and her comments hit me like a freight train.

Even comments that have nothing to do with dating, just comments about her daughters or her life are jumping off the screen and dancing on my keyboard and crawling up my arm and running into my ear and sticking in my head. 

I have never met her but we now have become friends and it means the world to me to have her as one.
I will defend her at all costs because I am like her. I connect with her and I dearly hope that when I write the same happens. Of course not every posts happens in this way,  but it is nice.

Then there are other Brave Girl Soul Restorers. Many of them blog and have through this experience blogged about it and we have shared ((HUGS)) and internet tears over the feelings and emotions we have gone through while through the journey. 

I have always been alone in my life. I went to proms and all dances alone. I did not date in high school. I went to movies alone. I went out to eat alone. I shop alone. I live I breathe and we essentially die alone. I have come to accept this truly. 

KSM sent me this amazing video I attached above. It was a great reminder to me that I have done it before, I have enjoyed it and I can do it again. It's ok. I like me. I am pretty and smart. I make myself laugh and even giggle sometimes out of the blue. I know what I like and I don't have to argue with myself. No one tells me how to drive or how to put the dishes away or how to do anything. I do. Only me. I am in charge of my own actions and if I don't like them then it is up to me to change them. In the video she says something that makes me laugh but perhaps is so true. When at the part where she is eating alone she says something about "...others are probably watching you and wishing they were where you are right now."

It made me laugh because the delightment of being me I have licked the whip cream off a cheesecake platter when at a restaurant and had someone tell me how envious of me they were. It made me smile.

It is ok to be alone. 

I am never truly alone anymore though because I am a faith based person and know I always have God with me and at a moments prayer I am not alone.

also, I have new friends like KSM and MelB and all my other BG pals to turn to as well as dear friends I can pick up the phone anytime and chat to...

But mostly the best thing of all...is that I am never alone...because I have you. Thank you for reading my blog and for taking the time to be here to ponder, think, or comment. 

A blogwriter is never alone. :)