Monday, November 30, 2015

Some Days

Some days just aren't what you thought they would be.

That can be good and bad.

Things kept going wrong, my computer kept crashing, again. Food kept falling on the floor, the tea I made was wrong...I just felt like going back to bed.

I thought today I would be spending time looking online,buying online games with #HunEPants and doing fun things.

Instead, a friend who was visiting in town needed a place to hang for a bit, they thought they were gonna crash but I think I board the hell outta them and they in turn ate then left. We talked for awhile and visited and that was fun, just again, not what I thought it was going to be. HunEPants stayed in his cave playing games and relaxing through the evening.

After the friends left, I went online and spent the rest of my time working out gift arrangements for his family. Which seems to always be one of those thankless tasks. I still feel it is a wife's duty to help out her man and get all that organized, cards, letters, gifts etc. Thankless or not.

Then in an effort to try and find a cord for me, he spilled something all over a bag of mine which, of course, didn't make me too happy.

Now, all of a sudden he has a headache and is going to bed.

I can't win for losing.

Now I am scrambling to look online for Any CyberMonday Deals "I" may want.

Some just feels like a non starter.

Yet instead, I do what I feel what must be done.


Keep my wits about me.

Make everything that was lemons into lemonade...and add vodka...lots of it.

Monday, November 09, 2015

All is Well in TrixieLand

Hello my lovelies,

I love to start a conversation or end one that way. It seems so 1940's, very Joan Crawford or something. Like saying Dahhlings or something. Anywhosit...just wanted to shout out a little update on posts and let you know all is well here in TrixieLand.

I have made a few friends I think I can call DEAR friends. The best of all, they are women. So rare for me, I think it took awhile to claim these women as truly friends. I have been stepped on, shit on, walked all over and then some, more times in life than I can remember. One would think it would harden my heart and change my soul...

but it doesn't.

I refuse to allow the outside world influence my actions and turn me into something I am not.

No matter what.

Even if I am in pain, I will smile a simple sweet smile and carry on. Which is what I have done for the past two weeks, sadly. I was in a lot of pain about a week ago and wasn't able to do more than sit on a heating pad, lying down, which, come on, like really, how much work can someone get done lying down (get your mind out of the gutter)? Not much. So then I got behind on things and I couldn't hardly go out, and I was getting depressed and then no one would ever answer when I would call, and people didn't have time for me and honestly, it made me pretty darn sad and depressed and the whole thing was becoming a vicious cycle.

And then...I meditated.

and meditated...

yep, and meditated...

and then I was able to start doing some yoga...

then I mediated some more...

and slowly between these two things I was slowly coming back around...

and then a miracle happened...

I found an Acupuncturist...who delves into TCM, Traditional Chines Medicine and he is Chinese. Holy cow, I hit the motherload!

As I went in, my back was hunched over and I was in so much pain, when I walked out I was fully upright and feeling amazing. In addition to that, I have for the past three years told Iowa doctors I thought it was my Kidney and no one listened. AS Dr. Nan was assess me, the first thing he says is "Whoa, your Kidneys and Liver are a mess!" I nearly burst into tears. Finally,someone who thinks what I think.

I have seen him for a few days last week and now today and Wednesday too. Plus I got some TCM powder I have been drinking all day and have felt so much better, physically.

Emotionally, been a little up and down, but I am menstruating and PMSing so I am sure I am a tad bit emotional but it seems to be more than that and for the longest time I couldn't figure out why.

As I was typing blogs and taking care of some social media business, I was in the middle of a blog and it made me think about the song Raise Me Up by Josh Groban (Who btw has the most phenom voice I have ever hear and would give anything to see him if I could, that has got to be one of my biggest wishes). AS I was typing this blog on my business site about women and how they have lifted me up, I was listening to the song and just started crying. HARD.

Another song followed, and I got more and more emotional.

HunEPants came home and so dinner had to be made and a new neighbor friend was coming over for Monday dinner so, enough of the emotional crap, Trisha. And the night went on and we laughed, M and I giggled about past men and their faults and foibles and certain men that are just life suckers and other friends and people who will suck the life force outta you if you let them and we just laughed on and on.

When she left I thought "Ya know, Life is pretty good here in Denver! I have made some amazing friends, get to see E every now and then ;) and got to have Cin in my wedding.  I have a great successful business and am enjoying starting a new one. The apartment complex makes me want to pull my hair out once in awhile, but all in all, All is Well. Then I sighed and smiled a cheesy smile.

Je suis content

I am not homeless.

I am not in an unhappy marriage.

I am not abused.

I am not without.

I am not lost.

MY actually pretty good.

All is well in TrixieLand.

I have Magic Beans.