Thursday, July 28, 2016

POE: Pursuit of Excellence: Intentions, Dreams, and Goals

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I don't know how the discussion came to be but HunEPants and I were talking about goals and he asked me if I had specific goals I am working on this year. I said yes and asked if he want to hear them? He replied "Yes" and I looked around to see if I still had the ones nearby taped to the back of my bedroom door. I did so I pulled those off and we sat down on the bed and I began to read them off.

As I barreled down this long list on Spiritual, Intellectual, Service, Character and Physical Challenges he nods his head and at times smiles. When I got to certain parts I remark on what things I have and have not accomplished for the year. I tell him that to my surprise out of ALL of the ones I was MOST surprised about was that I have accomplish ALL of the Physical Challenges and those were the ones, I thought I was going to have the hardest time with.

POE: Physical Challenges:

Develop healthy eating habits and patterns
Learn to cook healthy foods.
Develop a program of regular exercise.
Work toward healthy sleep patterns.
Improve your personal appearance or hygiene.
Improve emotional and mental health.
Create opportunities to be active with family and friends.

Then I continued with the list and said, "I create this list in January generally but then somewhere mid year I go back through them, and take a measurement of what I have and have not accomplished, however, I don't call these goals. I call these  "INTENTIONS". Because when people thin of goals I feel they get let let down. I want to lose ten pounds. Then they don't lose ten pound they lose 2 pounds, they feel they failed, they give up, and it's all over. however, if they say I INTEND to lost ten pounds and they lose 2, they can be excited in the success that they lost 2! Understand?

He nods his head yes.

"Also, I do a mid year check because, my life shifts and changes and perhaps those things that were important to me in January aren't important tome anymore. Like I started The Good of Sisterhood and Intended to have speakers and courses and have it be a Meetup generated idea, however, with the loss of your mom (we lost my mother in law right at the beginning of the year) that changed everything, that shifted things, not only our lives, but also my perception of things. "

Hunepants replied "I see"

"I intended to gain one Newsletter subscriber a month, and do more with the Passive Expertise Princess and focus more on the Passive Income side of things, but as I said, my perception of things changed and instead, since I WAS working on my mindfulness degree, that became into full focus and those things became trivial to me and my idea of SUCCESS, pivoted and changed and became different. I didn't care about have a new list subscriber, I didn't care about pod-casting,  webinars, and you tubing, I slowly didn't take about the entrepreneur world and slowly shifted my gaze to mindfulness, yoga, peace, enlightenment, etc. I finished my MBSR (mindfulness Based Stress Reduction  Certification) to help those with PTSD, suffering, overcoming, anguish, turmoil and the hardships of life. THAT became my focus. As well as dealing with your grief and my grief over the loss of losing your mother." 

Hunepants ask "Hmmmm..." I see him thinking and pondering all this

I comment "Sorry that was a long answer to probably a short question."

He chuckles and says" no, I expected a long answer with you." Of which this makes us both chuckle.

Then I said " To  finish up, (I show up him my book that says CARPE DIEM) I write down my mid year goals then transfer them to my program ASANA which is a project management tool, you know me, that helps me keep it all together and I check things off as I go, like Agile Methodology to keep track and I do that weekly. Until the end of year and then the following year I do it all again. I learned the Intentions from Danielle La Porte back in 2011 when I was doing that soul searching thing and have been doing it since. 

He says "Very good hunney. I am proud of you!"

I grin one of those cheesy almost cat like grins. Sweeter words were never spoken than when someone you love/care about tells you they are proud of you. my heart swells. :)

He goes back to playing video games and I don't remember but I go back to reading my crafting magazine or coloring to relax.

I still have some pretty big lofty goals this year that I am trying to meet and some little ones. I am diligent, determined, driven and those are just the d words. 

Do I bite off more than I can chew? To MOST people, or would MOST people think so? I would say, I think they would think so, but for someone like me, no. 

I have high high high ENERGY. I wake at 5:30 am every morning, take no naps during the day and can't fall asleep until about 11pm at night and I start winding down at 7/8pm mind you. I drink no coffee, only tea and most of that is decaf, Chai only. Generally I drink 120 oz of water with lime and Nosalt (potassium) throughout the day. So no, it isn't caffeine. It's just me. this is me, ask my sisters. Ask my friends. They call me The Energizer Bunny. LOL.

I enjoy life and I want to live it. I want to leave a legacy of love, positivity, and a life well lived behind me. I never want someone to say "what a waste" when I am gone. I am a Chronic Pain Sufferer and have Degenerative Back issues a lot. I am concerned that there will get to be a time when I wont' be able to do certain things in my life and I want to live my life before that happens. 

As well, my bio father passed when I was ten and a friends father passed when we were teens in high school. that taught me very early on: LIFE IS SHORT. Life is meant to be lived, not just survived. When that movie Titanic came out and they showed how she lived her life and did all those things it was like an emulation of my life and such I have carried that on as well. 

Now, though I don't look it, I am 46 years old. (though everyone thinks about 35ish) I have done nearly everything on the bucket list I wanted except Ziplining and I still intend to. I say my bucket list is a Backwards Bucket list now. Now I want peace, a quiet cabin in the woods where I can garden, live off the land, solar panels, read books, sew, quilt, craft, color, create, draw, lead the simple life, live  a treehouse I don't care. 

Until then, I still have 10-20 more years to accomplish my dreams and goals with my hunepants (he is 11 years my younger) so I have time. I take care of him right now and he said when I can't take care of me, he promises to do that part. So I am striving to pursue my excellence.

Are you pursuing your excellence? What are YOUR intentions this year? 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Hello Old Friend

Before the days of Facebook, blogging was my outlet. I came here, I poured, I wrote. I didn't care if anyone read or not, and the people started commenting. It was nice I had an audience, but that still wasn't why I came here. I came here because I needed an outlet and I have arthritis and had juvenile arthritis so typing was always easier for me. I love journaling, but I just couldn't write the old fashioned way.

I just needed someone to pour it out to let it go, to just dump the thoughts. I needed someone to share those feelings that I was feeling inside and the things that I felt like I couldn't share with those around me. The boyfriend I was dating or the husband I was married to. The tears i was crying over my children and such.

My mother had me read Artist Way by Julia Cameron when I was young and Morning Pages was like, a ritual in our house. "Get that junk out of your head before you go to school or work" etc she would say. And so I would. It helped. At nights when I couldn't sleep as I got older this is what I would do, I would type. In 2005 I started this blog. Looking back I see some years I wrote more than others. Perhaps I was busier or I had more to do, or I had a man to keep me busy or a job or what not. I don't know.

All I know is, I have come to realize that I miss it.

I really want to get back into the habit of journaling again.

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Tumblr even all that Social Media does not replace the pouring out of my heart. So here i am. Susannah Conway's Love Letter reminded me of that. Adding our blogs to a blog roll made me think about it. "Hey, I have a blog, why am I not writing on that damn thing!"

So thank you SC. Here I am. To me this feels both odd and second nature at the same time. Not sure how that can be but it is. It's like going home but they turned your bedroom into a gym. It's home, but's it's not. I guess you have to make home your home again.

My life has changed so much in the past few years and this now, this blog is not a place for "dumping my sorrows" I think, I hope it to be a place for sharing my joys. I am sure it is a place for sharing my feelings and pains as well but since my mother in law passed and my mother has been consumed with her life in helping others, which is great, don't get me wrong, I feel a tad, well slighted.... I guess that she hasn't had time for me, the baby.

We did talk for 45 minutes today and I feel blessed I captured her for that long. As we get old in our lives and our parents get older those moments with them are so precious and rare. I feel like I am losing time and every moment counts. I don't want them to pass away and I missed them.

I just want to make sure it wasn't My fault that I didn't get to talk to my mom like i didn't' call her enough or something. With my mom it isn't that. It is more like, you can't hold her down long enough! lol

New spouse is busy at work, friends are busy, mom is busy.

So here is my blog.

My space to chat to the space in between again.

Hello old friend.

I have missed you.