Wednesday, June 13, 2012

What I forgot...

This blog thought provoked by two blogs:

One by my wonderful blogger friend I follow Carolyn Rubinstein and who led me to number two Jen Lemen's What I Forgot Blog. A few other comments made me want to write down and share with you and may be inspire YOU to share, what YOU forgot about you.

What I forgot...

  • How I loved to draw (til this year)
  • How much I loved balloons
  • How much I love bubbles
  • How much I loved skipping to places I was going
  • How much I love rising on shopping carts
  • I much I love playing peekabo
  • How much I love playing Hide and Seek ( why did we have to stop just because we grew up?)
  • How much I love CHARMS Blow Pops-Especially Watermelon is my favorite flavor
  • How much I love Sweet Tea
  • How much I enjoy taking photos- mostly Black and White film
  • How I am really good at getting people to give me things (for fundraisers and non profits mostly, but really anything)
  • That it is okay to say NO once in awhile
  • How easily I GROK with some people and how I really conflict with the rest of the world for being different
  • How unique I REALLY am
  • How much I love to BAKE (cookies, candies, Christmas goodies)
  • How much I enjoy making videos montages
  • How sick I am of boxes (putting things into boxes, taking things out of boxes, putting boxes in truck, taking boxes out of trucks, etc)
  • How easily I trust
  • That as much as I want to I can't trust everyone
  • How much I love to write 
  • How much is such a part of my life
  • That the pain doesn't last forever
  • Broken hearts take time to heal and that mine is still processing
  • How to love a man (or at least I feel like I forgot that part)
  • How tender my heart really is and I shouldn't' wear it on my sleeve so carelessly
  • The most important things I often forget is to to remember to love God and love myself

SO what have YOU forgotten lately that you would like to share? I would love to hear your thoughts? Here or on my Facebook?

Saturday, June 09, 2012

High Maintenance Woman-Sweet Tender Heart

I am a "High Maintenance" woman-this means HM friend, HM-GF, HM employee, boss said it, guys I dated said it, friends have said it. I know it, it's true. This is reality-I am a busy person, I don't mean to not text you the SECOND you text me, or email you right back or respond to you FB or LIKE your feed, I am just BUSY. What is so odd, is tha tI used to be the person tapping my fingers waiting for someone to get back to me and impatient and feeling dejected, rejected and left out. Now , "I" am the one saying to others, "It's ok, I love you, I care, I still want your friendship, I am JUST busy."

I have Goals, Dreams, Aspirations, Desires and Designs to do things in life that many others don't dream of, can't think of, wouldn't go for, wouldn't risk and so on.

  • I want to retire by the time I am 50(was very close when 40)
  • I want to be known for making a difference in the world (one step at a time)
  • I want to be know for making a difference in the lives of others (I feel I do by being me)
  • I want my art in a gallery (Goal part accomplished was in Art fundraiser)
  • I want the world to see my art (June 18th millions of people will see it in NYC-Goal accomplished)
  • I want my business to be thriving enough I don't have to do freelance work anymore (working on something now to hopefully accomplish that)
  • I want my debts paid off so I can finally have that money for ME, ME not bill collectors!!! ( on a Money plan to be financially free in TWO YEARS!!)
  • I want to reach my goals
  • I want to live my dreams
  • I want to touch those aspirations
  • I want to live out those desires 

In process:
  • I work daily on a freelance assignment connected to a big government mandate for the next 6 months (this is money for now and helping me get financially free even though it is taking time away from other things I want, the priority of being financially free is more important to me)
  • I am working on building a new website to collaborative the minds of others who can help us all be people into one place(this will hopefully be my residual income or it is an idea of this)
  • I draw daily either to create a new drawing, work on something digitally, or finish something I started, but something Artistic, daily to help me reach my goals and dreams (this is something I never though or but now my dream has this in mind, to keep up with this dream, I need to remember as J said to "HAVE FUN" but still keep practice and creating and honing my craft or I will lose it and now that I have it, I don't want to lose it, I want to make it better
  • I enter two to four contest or challenges a week to push myself harder and make my art craft better. This is how I got in for my art to be shown in NYC on June 18th
  • I meet mostly weekly with David, my Accountability Partner from Life Coach Iowa. We help each other out kind of like an exercise busy to stay on track in our lives.
  • I still am doing my non profit for Warriors for the Homeless but I am NOT a 501c3. Sadly that whole exercise to get there was exhaustive and I didn't make deadline and money in time. I only do this part time, but I still help the homeless and anyone in need.
  • I help my BF study for his classes he is taking and meet up with him when I can to take a break in my week if possible and test him during our dinner before he goes to class so he can be the best at his course
  • In addition to all this, I man texts and phone calls and help friends set up websites and answers questions about websites often for free, when this is actually what I get paid to do! But I do that for FREE because I love them and they are my friends. When my friends need me, I am there for them
  • Have Fun. Yes, I actually schedule time to have fun, but I instill fun in my every day life. I giggle I squeak I do all kinds of things. I will add something I recently posted on FB
Infusing Play into Mundane Tasks...": "Things I do-

Skip instead of walk Imagine I am in a movie when I walk into a meeting Give myself challenges Play music, dance around Do a victory dance after I do anything good When I send an email, make fax noises When I have to clean something, give a play-by-play of your actions with a Howard Cossell voice Do a Game theme or Jeopardy theme to things in waiting Keep a kazoo in my purse and toot it for regular day to day accomplishments Dance in my car like its a workout Act like I score the winning hoop when I chuck the carts into the return aisle for the supermarket then shout like a crowd is cheering me on Ride the cart to my car even if others are watching Take my own photo shoots like when I was in modeling Walk into every room as if I own it and though I am famous Sign at the top of my lungs in my car even if the people next to me are watching Smile at everyone a super huge Miss-Trisha Hunter smile like I have a secret Enjoy life to the fullest Today is a gift...that's why it's called the PRESENT"

I know, I hear you and others say I tire you just by reading my statuses that I get more done in a week than most do in a month or a year!!

So please, my friends, by patient. If I don't get back to your text right away, it doesn't mean I don't care.

This week I have answered 5 peoples phone calls in distress and was the good friend and listed. Today I am taking clothes to someone in need and just spent the last hour literally taking MY clothes out of MY closet to give to someone else.

I have a sweet tender heart and it hurts when I hear people say they think I don't care. That is the farthest from the truth it is more so that my world is going like a NASCAR race and I am working hard at being the front car for the whole thing without having to pit!! (I do NOT believe I just used a NASCAR reference)

I enjoy life to the fullest, yet I AM trying to reach and stretch out my arms as far as I can to touch these goals and dreams of mine. I won't stop until I do and to this, it means time and that time means I might not be there at a beck and call commend but as you can see, I AM there for my friends. I may be a High Maintenance Woman and you might have to decide if you want to put up with that to be friends with me or not but I am you this more that that question...

IF you know me or know anything about me ask yourself this...

Do you find enough VALUE in our friendship to do the things you have to do, to be friends with me?
Am I the sort of person worthy of your friendship?
Is it worth your effort to be friends with someone like me, if you might have to jump through a few hoops or workarounds every now and then?
Or am I someone not worth fighting for?

For you, I would say yes. Will you say yes for me?

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

What's your Relationship to SIlence? The Burning Question

What's Your Relationship to Silence ask Danielle La Porte?

For me, I have the hardest time with silence.

The first thing that comes to mind is a song by Depeche Mode called "Enjoy the Silence" and I feel bad thinking I SHOULD enjoy the silence but I don't. I don't enjoy it. My mind wanders and I hate it. I fill it with many thoughts of what others are thinking. What people think about me. What people are thinking about their day. What people are thinking about my Art, my business, etc.

I think about other stuff too. What things I still need to get done. What things I WANT to do still. My mind races at I think like 10,000 miles an hour. I have been told my mind is like a Japanese motorcycle-super fast! VROOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

I find it VERY hard to slow my mind down. When I try to meditate it takes all my might to focus on one single thought. Because I do not enjoy the silence.

If I am speaking with someone and there is silence, it drives me insane. I want to fill it. I find it hard to just be still and let the silence happen between us. IT is very rare that I find that silence "comfortable".

But there are times, rare times and moments when I do enjoy it. But it is generally when I have a migraine and I want to hear NOTHING. No lights, no sound, no nothing.

OR in the shower, but that is a different silence. That is the desire to hear only the sound of the water. So it is not PURE silence.

But it is as silent as I get. The shower is my silent solace. IT is as silent as I like to get....

So what about you? How do you handle SILENCE?hmm???