Being Here. Being Human: Day 1. Year 2020.

Being Here. Being Human.

http://www.beingherehuman.com

Today is the first day of a new online project I am doing by Being Here. Being Human. https://www.beingherehuman.com/

SEPTEMBER 7 TO SEPTEMBER 18: MAGICAL REALISM W/ ISABEL ABBOTT

A writing workshop for those living with disability and/or chronic illness

Two weeks where we will write through the intersections of disability, accessibility, the sick/well binary of the disordered and diagnoses, the mundane and naming what is real, hybridity and living in spaces between, celebrating the small things, care, and creation, mourning and making a world where we leave none of us behind.

A writing space by us
About us
For us

(If you want to join I am not sure if they are still taking people)

https://www.beingherehuman.com/writing-workshop

Day 1- For today, what do you need to write, about you and for you?

What realities pass through your head without any other consideration?

We have these next days to write for ourselves. This time is for you, about you. And you know you best. You, the subject of your own words and writing and life. You know what you need for something to be accessible. For something to be for you and about you. You know all of what comes from the hours spent alone, and from the learning and the unlearning, that happen in these unruly bodies and disordered brains. You. And in this you, us. Together, we are allowed to bring it back to this, each in our own way.

“I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best.”
― Frida Kahlo

The realities that pass through my mind that I have accepted are...

• The reality that I have more brain fog from all my chemo than I realized.
• The reality that this brain fog is limiting to my daily life and tasks.
• The reality that I will always be misunderstood by someone and I accept that
• The reality that I am a direct communicator
• The reality that I am real, raw, and hones to a fault
• The reality that I am authentic and that scares some people
• The reality that I am"too much" for some people and...
• The reality that if I am " too much" then those are not my people
• The reality that I am a lightworker, a star seed, a healer, a shaman, an indigo child
• The reality that I am good at what I do, though saying that out loud is often taken as Egotistical
• The reality that I can handle "more" in most situations than most people
• The reality that I am a hard worker and a smart worker
• The reality that because of all my pains, cancer, ailments, disorders, etc I tend to have a much higher tolerance for pain than I used to. 
• The reality that because I have a high tolerance, I am often misjudged or diagnosed because others have shaped their disbelief, thus they think the same applies to me
• The reality that my body is flawed. Degenerative disc in neck and back, Hashimoto's, GI issues because of my colon cancer, as well as two cancers have severely altered my body.
• The reality that we all are perfectly imperfect in our own way.
• The reality that others have not ever walked a journey like I have so they will never understand and I need to quit expecting them to.
• The reality that my tribe may be small but powerful, loving, and accepting.
• The reality that I give more than I receive
• The reality that I am unique
• The reality that I have body dysmorphia and have a hard time loving my body because of this, but also the reality that I struggle to love my body because I often feel like my body is attacking me or out to get me after having cancer twice and so many side effects and issues from the chemo than I care to mention
• The reality that life is precious to me because I truly know there are no guarantees in life
• The reality that if I desire to change I need to be the change
• The reality that I am a good human
• The reality that I look at  things, life, etc with a kaleidoscope vision
• Lastly, the reality that I am a spiritual being having a human experience and not the other way around

I am sure if I stood here, at my standing desk longer, I could come up with more, but my intuition has stopped me here at this point in my writing.

I am grateful for this challenge and appreciate the writing prompts to help us along.

I am thankful to Isabel Abbot for sharing her gifts with us so that we may share our gifts with others.

Peace Love and Happiness

Trixie <3

Rituals For Transformation: Dragontree

There are only 5 days left to preorder Rituals For Transformation. Join The Dragontree on this journey, and forever remember THIS summer as the summer as the summer you began your journey of real change. 108 days of ritual, meditation, introspection, opening, growing and learning. Embody your highest self, and create unshakeable happiness in your life.

To thank you for helping The Dragontree bring this book into the world, they are including the Dragontree Guided Meditation Collection and their Well Life: Foundation course with every preorder. And if they reach 2,500 pre-orders, Peter and Briana will host a live, online opening ceremony to help you help you plant the roots of your 108-day transformation. It'll be a time to connect and meditate with each other and to gather the tools you'll need to continue if you feel stuck or ready to stop this journey to which you’ve committed.

The Dragontree can't wait to begin this movement with you.

https://dragontreeapothecary.com/products/rituals-for-transformation?aff=180

Transformation

Transformation

Today as I was looking for a butterfly picture quote to send to someone, I found all these amazing quotes on Transformation. It made me realize that really, this process of Chemo, surgery, healing etc is really all that.

It was an epiphany to me because my book Falling Into Fabulous: A Phoenix Rising by Trisha Trixie is all about my 1st transformation in 2011 and how I overcame my life and moved on. Without realizing it, I was a caterpillar and now I am a butterfly. However, if I already did that, can a butterfly be transformed again?

Interesting facts for you...

"Studies performed on the caterpillars have also shown that they are almost whole new beings all together. Unless learned just prior to it undergoing metamorphosis, a butterfly will actually have very little memory of its life as a caterpillar. In a sense, caterpillars actually live and die TWICE. This is a very weird and odd evolution. One that doesn't fit the typical mold of change followed by other insects. "

So in essence, yes, I can transform again and I am doing just that.

This makes me wonder if book two should be Falling into Fabulous: A Butterfly Rising: The Cancer Chapters.

I always looked at myself as a Phoenix, getting burnt by life and ending up as nothing but ashes. A Phoenix rises from those ashes and because this amazing creature. Like me, or so I think.

Now thinking about this whole process as a Butterfly Transformation really has me thinking.

My friend Mandy calls it a process. Everything is a process.

This is my second transformation. In 2011 I was able to release all my old baggage, old hurts, old negative thoughts about others, myself, etc and move on with life. Take leaps. Take risks. Live the life I wanted. Start a business. Start another. Take chances. On Life. On Love. And be rewarded with those blessings. My life went from chaos to content. Until recently.

So what changed? Me.

I don't know why things happen and I don't always understand the reasons for why people must suffer, go through trials, deal with adversity and struggle, but I do know, there is a reason. There is a lesson. Sometimes, that lesson isn't even for us! It is for those around us.

I feel this is the case with my life and my cancer.

Who better to deal with such an overwhelming than and Overcoming Specialist? Who better to deal with Cancer than someone who has already learned how to let go, let God, and Overcome? Who better than someone who already understands the need for Transformation that someone who has already transformed once?

I have been truly blessed. I find my Cancer a blessing. I have learned so much and touched so many lives it is freaking amazing. Amazing isn't even a strong enough word!

Surreal.

This is my time to transform once again. To grow, to exalt to a high knowledge and understanding of life. To change from a Phoenix to a Butterfly. I am in my Cocoon right now. I am emerging while the whole world watches how I do it. How I overcome. How I conquer this.

It is important for me to be the instrument in his hands to be there for others. To listen. To have empathy. To have compassion. To help you understand Love. To help you understand Fear. To help you understand Life, perhaps.

I accept this destiny and fate in my life because I know my purpose here in life, on this earth, at this time. My mission, is LOVE.

I am determined to leave a legacy of love and if growing and going through this trial, helps you, another or even myself to grow and emerge and transform, then so be it.

I will be the Butterfly for you.<3