Finding my Dharma

I am currently working through a guide I got from  a course called Dharma in Action. It is through a program I purchased connected to Carrie Hensley.  I joined her Online Sangha Community at the beginning of the Year, and Dharma in Action was offered through that. It it an Intense course to help you go through your goals, intentions, reach your goals through SMART achievable actions and ways and means to get there through various tools she offers. I don't want to give away "too much" because the Sangha IS a paid program and the Dharma in Action is something you get by paying for that program. Being an Entrepreneur myself, I know, this is how we make money and I would never take money away from another. 

This month the theme is SERVICE....

........................

My friend who I have known for some time was passing through town reminded me recently that I serve others quite frequently. She knows I would give you every penny I have, the shirt and shoes off my back and do everything I can for you. She also reminded me quite BOLDLY in what some would say was maybe ABRUPT, but that's what old friends are for. As we are visiting, I am telling her about all these people i have helped and done things for and how enriching and enlightening it has been and how my soul has felt so nourished and she says something to the affect (I am paraphrasing here) "Trisha, that's great, but you need to nourish YOUR soul, and take care of you! Don't forget to serve yourself and take care of YOU TOO!"

God I love friends who aren't afraid to slap you in the face metaphorically.

This reminder that I ALWAYS serve others. though it is good, but not to forget ME. To serve me. To take care of Me. to have me time. Trisha time. 

I am kind and loving and I would give you the shirt off my back the shoes I am wearing and every dime I have. I would serve you until I have nothing and yes that is true. But that we need to be of service to ourselves. God loves us and we are also his children. We need to remember to serve ourselves and not forget that we are need service. to take care our OUR bodies, minds and souls. 

It was such an enlightening visit, good friends do that to us. Plus the sound healing she did on me was amazing. I want more of that! I want to learn that too.

August, DIA, though probably meant to be more of a Service to OTHERS will be a reminder to me this month to look INWARD. I serve others SO much and love other SO MUCH that I forget to look in the mirror. Trisha needs service too. 

Monthly goals for August: to be in more Service to myself. To remember to give myself Me Time. 

Obstacles: Taking the time to do it. Carving out the time. Not getting distracted doing other things.

I didn't read the book for this month and probably wont as I don't buy a lot of books as we are trying to downsize so we can move into something smaller,  but from what I understand of the book we are to read it is about Adult Behavioral Change and Triggers that do that. I did find a great article from Harvard Health Publications I wanted to share with you. Read more by clicking on the link below...

Why it’s hard to change unhealthy behavior — and why you should keep trying

I am going to apply the same questions though from the DIA Book Review to the article-

DIA: What were your three key take-aways:

1. Change is a process not an event: "Each stage is a preparation for the following one, so hurrying through or skipping stages is likely to result in setbacks"
2. Stages of Change: 
1. Precontemplation: The" all my family is fat, so i'm gonna be fat"
2. Contemplation "I'm considering change in six months"
3. Preparation: Making palns to change. Joined a gym, or bought nicotine patch
4. Action: You've changed. Stopped smoking
5. Maintenance: You've practiced this new behavior for six months now. You've "maintained" it.  You killed the old habit and started and kept a new one.

This part really intrigued me" That may require other changes, especially avoiding situations or triggers associated with the old habit. It can be tough, especially if it means steering clear of certain activities or friends while you work to fully assimilate your new, healthier habit." Mostly because I don't think people understand this. 

They think "Oh, I can still hang around all my old friends who are TOXIC for me. Or I can still hang around FAMILY even , that is TOXIC and I will still be fine. NO, you WON'T be fine. It doesn't matter if it family or friends or even co-workers, if those people have the old habits that led you to the toxic things you did or toxic way of thinking, then you CAN'T hang around them anymore. they will lead you back down that destructive way of thinking and lifestyle once again. Those are TRIGGERS.

I get that.

DIA How can you apply the lessons from the [article] to your personal/professional life:

Remember to steer clear of those toxic people in my life. Remove or turn off notification from those people who trigger me. Old friends are great, but if they trigger me into a negative frame of mind and do not help me to achieve my Dharma, then they are no good for me. and will not help me to reach my goals.

DIA: What can you use from the [article] to help you reach your intention:

This really spoke to me too...

"It can take a few rounds"

It was a good reminder that things do not always happen on our time. I was even just reading in Peter, in the bible this Sunday and I read "...to the Lord 1 day is like 1000 years and 1000 years is like a day." 

Think about that. That is profound. So when are like "Come on Heavenly Father, hurry up..." He is like "Be patient my child" because uh, hello...time moves WAAAAAAAAAY different in celestial time. 

If you believe in reincarnation like my mother does (not sure where I stand on that one yet) then my mother says it may take a few lives. Which could be the same as "It can take a few rounds" . Regardless..Be patient. 

DIA: What can you use from the [article] to help you overcome some of the obstacles on your path: 

It is VERY funny that THAT was the next question in the DIA because THIS was the next line in the article...

"The path from one stage to the next is rarely straightforward"

I think that sums it up.

Thanks for reading and listening.

Hugs and kisses and fairytale wishes.

XoXo, Namaste, TrishaTrixie

TrishaTrixie...grabbing life every moment she can!

On Being a Friend: Facebook Friends vs Real Friends

How about I'll be me and you be you...

Ok, so I am on a day early on Facebook then what I wanted (was going to only be on FB on Fridays and today is Thursday) and how this happened is because so damn much is connected to FB that it feels as though we can't escape it. I deactivated my account this week to start having harder disciplines and yet, just so I could get to my Wedding Wire account and Spotify account I HAD to log in through FB because I couldn't get in through any other way. Thus, removing the "deactivation" for the week and logging me in.

And because I forgot to turn off the Spotfy "sharing to FB"  when I was sharing other music with Twitter and Tumblr, it sent one to my profile. But I am music, music is in me and moves me, so why wouldn't I share music. Because someone told me I over share, I share too much music. Well, I decided, I will share music if I want to. If you don't want to see all those posts and nay others I share, following my life, my Facebook etc is not "mandatory" for you.

Slowly I am coming back to this. I am me. You are you. We do not have to like the same things or feel the same way about politics, religion, opinions or ideas or even music or how much I should or shouldn't post on social media.

In the epitome of realism that I like to think I am, I am getting back to this way of thinking that I can be and you can be you and we can still be friends. If we can't, then perhaps we were never meant to be friends in the first place.

Being someone's "friend" on Facebook is not really being their friend. Being a friend is sending people notes. Letting others know you care. Being there for them even if you don't want to, because there will be days they will be there for YOU, even when they don't want to, because that is just want friends do. Friends send cards, notes, emails caring about one another and loving another person for the simple fact of friendship. When they call, you answer. Not always because you WANT to hear their voice, but because out of all the many people they could have chosen to call they called you.

I found this to be true when sending note cards and emails these past few weeks. I want people to think about it and feel my love for them and know that same thing. Out of all the many people you "could have" gotten a note from, you got one from me. Because I care. Because I have your address. Because when I asked for your address, you gave it to me. Why? Because you told me, by giving me that address that YOU wanted to hear from ME. So then I feel special and like a friend because the same applies. Out of all the many people you could have given your address to, you gave it to me, because you wanted to hear from ME.

This warms my heart.

As much as , when I desire to visit someone, or stop by their home, or have coffee wit them, out of all the many people they could take time to be with, they are taking time to be with me. And how I hope they feel the same.

In our Social Media driven world we think now that sending a request, with no warning, or background with the other person, and then accepting it, qualifies as being a friend. It does not. We also use this tool incorrectly in that we meet someone in business and then suddenly decide, "Hey I need to be friends with that person" but that also is not true. Business pages are there for a reason. Use them. If you want to connect with another you met via Business, go follow their page.

I remember back in 2004 asking others, "Do you Facebook?" and wanting their info to connect with them because I felt that their person (meaning them as a REAL person) was so unique that I wanted to connect more.

This has changed. Now, in 2015, we oft times do not even know them as a person we just find out that Sally is a friend of Dave's so we then want to be friends with Sally. Why? We don't even know Sally. What if she is a crazy bitch? Or vice versa. We see Dave is a friend of Joe so we relate this to thinking "Well, if Dave has Joe as a FB friend he MUST be a cool guy" when in reality, Dave happened upon Joe's profile much in the same and in reality, know NOTHING about Joe. What if Joe is a stalker? What if he is a perv? (this happens more than most) What if Joe starts sending you inappropriate pictures and request? (talking from truth here) Or what if even is Joe were a nice guy, but if you knew him in "real life" you would find that you really don't have anything to connect with and you most likely wouldn't be friends? (this is what I am finding out)

It is not to say, that Facebook can't be good. It can. It has reconnected me with some High School pals I am happy to talk with again. However, I just realized that some of those High School people, treated me like shit and I really could care less if they are on FB or not. Why was I connected to them? Do we interact now. Not really. Do I care about what they have to say? Not really? So then I go back to the question I said before and ask myself

"Would I be friends with this person IRL?"

If the answer is a resounding "No" then buh-bye FB Friend, because I don't think we really care about each other. That answer comes to me from, looking at things on FB that answer that question. Do they comment on anything I say. No. Do they post things on my wall that they know I will like. No. Do they answer a Fb message or comment I have sent them? No. Do we really interact at all? Not really. ah, k, um, yeah, Buh-bye.

I also have made NEW friends I would never had connected with had it not been for FB. But that happening is far and few between. But I have started looking at whether or not there is a REAL connection.

But wait you say, what if I am a "watcher". I don't say much, but I watch what goes on in other peoples lives. That doesn't mean I don't care. I do care. I care what happens to my FB friends I just never comment, respond or say anything.

Hmm, well, my question to you then is this "Why not?"

If you saw that person IRL and they shared all these things about their life with you, would you stand there like a lump on a log silent? No, you would respond, interact, engage. But yet on FB, you don't. Do you think that person doesnt notice? Cuz they do. Do you think that person doesn't care about your response or what you have to say? They do. They really do.

We need to use these tools for interaction in the same manner as we would IRL.

IRL, would you go on and on sharing horrible pictures of things about death, depression, divorce and the bad news going on in the world? Is that what we would say? Is that REALLY what we would share? Or would we interject positivity into some of those things we share? I think we would.

My mother told me something about doing things in life "If you say or do something and it could be in the papers, would you still do it? I liken this to FB and other things online like Snapchat or Google Plus or Tumblr to mention a few but all Social Media in inclusive of this...

If you thought what you send on your phones, or do or say secretively was going to go around to ALL the internet to see, would you still act the same? If not, then you might want to reconsider doing it, because those things, are there forever. You think because you deleted something that it is gone? HA! it is not gone. Just gone "to you" the people behind the scenes still have access to all of that.

How you treat people, what you say and do with them or to them online, is the same.

I hope to make a difference. I hope to show others, that their friendship matters to me. That what I share, do and say with them and to them, is what I would say and do and act in front of them.

and if there are people I don't see in this way, that I WOULD interact or engage with them if they were my friends in real life...then perhaps they shouldn't be connected to me on FB.

Until Next time,

XoXo Trisha Trixie