Thursday, August 18, 2011

What Am I Looking Forward To?

What AM I looking forward to? I was reading The Art of Non-Conformity as I sometimes do and the blog that was sitting my mailbox posed to me this question. I have filled my life with such inspiring blogs and words and people that sometimes it amazes me. I feel compelled to answer this out to my readers.

He has three categories that he answers which make me thus want to answer in the same manner-Short Term, Mid Term and Long Term.

In the Short Term I am looking forward to Omaha Fashion Week. I have wanted to get into fashion for so long that this almost seems surreal to me. It is odd to say that since I modeled and I write a Fashion Blog and Site called Sensafashion and have been a part of the industry in a different capacity. But that is exactly what I mean. I have been on one side of it. The model side. I have been in Fashion shows and done print work. I have been asked to be in a local paper and I have been asked to be a Tradeshow Model to look pretty and hand out flyers. But I have not been on the "Other" side. For OFW I get to be a Designer Liaison and help the Designers. I get to see what it is like for those "working" the show. I have some designs I create as well so I think this is two fold being able to see what Styling and being a Liaison is about and to see what the Designers put out and go through if I someday want to take either of thsoe two next steps in my life.

In the Mid Term I am looking forward to a decision about my contract. I still have a few months on it until my 720 hours has been fulfilled and it would be nice to know if they want to hire me, continue my contract, or if I will go back to focusing solely on my Non Profit for the Homeless. Right now it is a way to pay off bills and save money for my Non Profit so it serves a good purpose, but a decision in a few months would be nice.

In the Long Term I am looking forward to so many things but ultimately Continued Progression. I mean that I have made so many changes in my life and grown so much. I don't want it to stop. I want to continue to grow in this manner and live this way. The new stronger softer thicker skinned resilient me! Funny how Chris and I are in line with continued learning, growing, progressive way of thinking. I love like-minded individuals!

I do look forward to other things that I feel one day will come but I don't see them in any Category. I don't know where they will fit or if they will fit in my life but I look forward to the thought that they might, as well as the feelings that come with it. To some these are dreams, but to me they are as tangible as the hand in front of my face.

The un-categorized things I look forward to are:

I look forward to getting a new car
I look forward to having my Non-Profit be a reality
I look forward to having a home of my own
I look forward to someone asking me to share my life with them
I look forward to paying off my bills
I look forward to having an online class of my own to share
I look forward to retiring
I look forward to traveling again
I look forward to life...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Choose?

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Choose?

I wish to continue with a forward momentum.

I have done a lot this year.

I have taken many classes.

I am doing what I can to improve my life, make things better, be Strong and Softer, be self sufficient, protect my Soul House, enjoy life, Live the Life I want not the one I don't, Stand up for myself, Don't settle for anything less than, Be authentic, be the Real Me, and continue to grow, enrich and improve, inspire and encourage.

In the effort of continuing to move forward and keep the momentum I have been reading 5 Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman.

One thing I always have a hard time with is talking. I know how to, though inevitably all my life I have been told I stick my foot in my mouth, I am too harsh, I need to be softer, I need to talk less, or I need to be kinder in my words. This shocks me as well as others when I falter because I hear so often that I am a good person and can light up the world, but there are oft times these moments when my foot ends up in my mouth or I hurt people with things I say.

In the Lobe Language book it speaks of Words of...

Words of Appreciation
Words of Affirmantion
Words of Kindness

It talks about keeping a notebook of examples of these so they are tools you have available. I covered my new notebook all pretty and stated it last night. Today I went searching for Words of Kindness and ran across this blog...

Knowledge from Words of Kindness
Before you speak ask yourself: Is what I am about to say going to uplift the hearer? Will it inspire, motivate, and create forward momentum for them? Will it dissolve fear and create safety and trust? Will I create a positive or negative ripple effect by speaking out these words?

I will take this as a part of my Forward Continuum and keep wishing to do as they say in Meet the Robinsons...


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Inspiration Do You Wish to Follow?

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Inspiration Do You Wish to Follow?


I was looking things up and found this:

What you wish to kindle in others must burn within yourself...

verb /inˈspīr/ 
inspired, past participle; inspired, past tense; inspires, 3rd person singular present; inspiring, present participle
  1. Fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative
    • - his passion for romantic literature inspired him to begin writing
  2. Create (a feeling, esp. a positive one) in a person
    • - their past record does not inspire confidence
  3. Animate someone with (such a feeling)
    • - he inspired his students with a vision of freedom
  4. Give rise to
    • - the movie was successful enough to inspire a sequel
  5. Breathe in (air); inhale

 I do not desire to follow,

yet know the course this goes,

I but seek to inspire,

yet must be inspired,

to follow inspiration,

will inspire me further...

I wish to Inspire...

I wish to be Inspired...

I wish to Inspire...

I'm Not Who I Was..

As I lie in bed tonight my head is pounding and I can't seem to shake this migraine I have. As I lie there with a heated corn bag on my head these thoughts start rolling through my head about the conversation I just had with my older sister and recent events that have happened in my life.

To start-recently all three of my sisters have become and active part in my life via Facebook. As thrilling as this sounds to some, it is also quite interesting. I am the baby and they all have a connection to me in a different way yet are all very VERY protective of me. Funny even from each other too!

Someone I met through Brave Girls recently unfriended me because of something one of my sister's said. Now we all know we can't control other people's comments and actions so the fact that she unfriended me because of that shocked me. Especially given that we went through BG together. But little by little I am realizing the people in Brave Girls are still people and have faults too. But in the end the lessons I have learned through BG have helped me quite a bit in life.

My sister called to see how I was because in her words "I am sensitive" and she knows "how easily I can get hurt." Well, yes and no. 

That's when I started thinking about this song from Brandon Heath "I'm not Who I Was"

You see...I feel this way. Exactly. I'm NOT Who I Was.

It has taken me some time to grow and improve and change...but I have. Soul Restoration 1 and 2 through Brave Girls was the best thing I could have done. It inspired me to Jamie Ridler Studios, Goddess Leonie, and many other courses and books that have helped reshape me, restore me, and inspire me to be stronger, self sufficient and brave.

Two-this week I got taken at a car dealership. After buying at $1200 car I found out it needs a completely new transmission and the cost was more than the car. I was not happy. But these little instances where things in my life in the past would have rendered me in tears, throwing myself on my bed and feeling like the world was caving in...does NOT affect me that way anymore.

When they happen and I see introspectively inside myself that "Hey handled that pretty well!" I am amazed at how much I have changed and grown and grown stronger.

I did NOT fall apart about either event.

As far as the person who unfriended be it. I have learned , not everyone needs to like me. I don't need to like everyone. I am a unique and special person and I am still going to be me. Friends who are real support me, are there for me and would not allow something someone else says to shape their opinion of  OUR friendship. We tried being friends, it didn't work out, so "turn the page" as my mother says "NEXT!"

Regarding the car. I was not happy. Yesterday instead of going home after finding out about the transmission I went and had sushi and did something for me. Then today after finding out what I could about how to handle it through other people who have connections to people In the Know, so to speak, I took the information and did the best I could. I have been wanting to be more self sufficient and so I was. I went down and talked with the guy by myself and presented my case. I stood firm and strong. I took deep breaths when getting upset, and just was firm in my conviction to get my old car back and the money I spent on the crapper car. He gave in, was nice about it, even put my old plates back on my old car and still asked for help on his website.

Yay, Trisha...way to go! You go girl! :)

So, you see, I am not who I was. For those of you who think you still have to coddle me and baby me and walk on eggshells and call me and be so ever gentle...stop it. I am ok. I am better than ok, I am Fabulous!

You do not need to worry anymore. You do not need to be so concerned. It may have taken me until I was 41, but I got it from here. Thank you for being there for me. Now, support me when I am strong. Be happy that I am stronger now. Be supportive of my strength and when I tell you I am ok, please believe me. I will tell you when I am not. I will share my thoughts. I will say if something is bothering me.

I am not the "Baby" anymore. I may be your "younger sister" but stop calling me your baby sister. I am also not "Sensitive Patricia" anymore. Those friends who knew that Patricia can now stop worrying and acting like  will crack if you say or do the wrong thing.

I realize this may come as a shock to you...the new me. But really. I am good now. I can stand on my own two feet. I am self reliant, self sufficient, and stronger...

Stronger and Softer...goal attained and better than ever! Embrace the new me. I have! :)

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Eat, Pray, Love ...Genius?

I want to start you out by having you watch this amazing video. For those who know me well, know I am one of Elizabeth Gilbert's avid followers. I loved the book Eat, Pray, Love; the movie was amazing with Julia Roberts, and I listen to the audio constantly. As soon as I heard she did a TED talk, I was all over IT!

I love how she talks about herself as well as Creativity in others, etc.

"Gilbert achieved unexpected attention when her book was published a couple of years ago. And this was all very nice, except, since then, everyone has been wondering how she’ll ever top her achievement, as if it’s all downhill from here.

She looked at other societies to see how they regard this pressure on artists and found an answer in ancient Greece and Rome. In these places, people didn’t believe that creativity came from inside. They believed it was an attentive spirit that came to someone from a distant, unknowable source, she said.
"[It was] a magical divine entity that was believed to live literally in the walls of an artist’s studio and would come out and invisibly assist the artist with the work and shape the outcome of the work," she said.

This view served the artist’s mental health, she suggested, because by attributing the artist’s talent to an outside force, the artist was relieved of some of the pressure to perform, and was not narcissistic. If an artist’s work was brilliant, the outside force got the credit.

All that changed with the Renaissance when mysticism was replaced by a belief that creativity came from the self. For the first time, people started referring to an artist as being a genius rather than having a genius.

Give up on ever becoming a genius. Instead, ask for help from your Genius.

"Allowing somebody …  to believe that he or she is … the essence and the source of all divine, creative, unknowable, internal mystery is just like a smidge of too much responsibility to put on one fragile human psyche," she said. "It’s like asking somebody to swallow the sun. It just completely warps and distorts egos, and it creates all of these unnatural expectations about performance.  I think the pressure of that has been killing off our artists for the last 500 years."She acknowledged that there were people in the rational-minded audience (which was filled with scientists) who would balk at the idea of creativity as a kind of "mystical fairy juice" that’s bestowed on someone. But she said it made as much sense as anything ever posited to explain the "utter, maddening, capriciousness of the creative process."

She goes on to talk about a couple of examples where people felt the Genius from within trying to tell them something and how they openly would talk to it and how acknowledging this changed their lives as well as those who embraced it. In a story about a songwriter the writer yelled out when he couldn't get to a piece in his head at that time to write it down...

"Excuse me. Can you not see I’m driving? Do I look like I can write down a song right now? If you really want to exist, come back at a more opportune moment …  otherwise go bother somebody else today. Go bother Leonard Cohen."Waits said his creative process, and the heavy anxiety that permeated it, changed that day. In releasing the creative force, he realized that creativity "could be a peculiar, wondrous, bizarre collaboration and conversation between Tom and the strange external genius that was not Tom," Gilbert said.

She also spoke of a female poet in this talk that has felt a poem soar through her to where she lost it, times where she felt it coming on and would run as fast as she could to get to a pen but perhaps miss it. But the divine thing she said about this women was how at times when she almost missed it she could grab it's tail and pull it back.

I write blogs, I write stories and I write poetry. In all these aspects I have felt this way. I know artists who draw who say they can see it in their mind but can't sketch it out on paper fast enough. I think about this and think perhaps it isn't that we are trying to absorb it before it gets away, perhaps like the female poet we need to understand that we have the ability to grab it's tail and pull it back if we so desire. Perhaps we jsut need to reach for it.

She spoke about when she was in the midst of writing Eat, Pray Love and fell into a pit of despair when she felt blocked and said aloud to whatever entity it was that usually helped her but was on furlough that day that if the book didn’t turn out to be good it wasn’t going to be entirely her fault since she was putting everything she had into the project. "So if you want [the book] to be better, then you’ve got to show up and do your part of the deal," she told it. "But I’ll keep writing anyway, because that’s my job. And I’d like the record to report today that I showed up.

 How many of us have felt that way? We showed up, we are doing our part. We are giving it all we got. What about you? Are you giving it all you got? Are you showing up? If not how I relate to that is that if we are not showing up and doing our part then how, oh how is that creative entity supposed to flow through us?

She ends with "Just do your job," she told the audience. "Continue to show up for your piece of it. If your job is to dance, then do your dance.  If the divine, cockeyed genius assigned to your case decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed for just one moment for your efforts, then Ole. And if not, do your dance anyhow. Ole to you, nonetheless, just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up."

(Excerpt from talk are from )