Insecure after Cancer Remission

Ever since I have been "announced" Cancer free, I have been feeling less and less like me. Which as I am saying it makes me feel pretty silly. I knew things would be different. They, the doctors, the nurses, others who have had cancer, they all told me, "You're life ill never (emphasize NEVER) be the same. I thought, "Yeah but you don't know me" and then here I am.

Sad
Depressed
Feeling neglected
Feeling insecure
Feeling out of sorts

Just...feeling...not me.

Damn.

I don't want to just be another statistic.
I don't want to be like everyone else.
I want to be the overcomer
I want to be the one who rises above it all

THAT'S ME!! THATS WHO "I" AM!!

Damn it.

So frustrated right now I wanna scream!

I haven't shared on here for awhile and I came home tonight, from being with a group of girls all watching the Bachelor at one of the ladies home and the whole time I am sitting there, I am feeling completely insecure. I got in my car and cried all the way home.

 The rational me says to myself "What the heck are you feeling insecure about? You are here with friends. You love them, they love you. You are safe"

You see, I did not feel safe. I did not feel validated for my words. I felt like I was in the wrong tribe.

I learned something tonight. In that group of women are a CORE group of fabulous ladies that I get along with and I adore them and love them. The other ladies, not my cup of tea. The external people just kept getting weirder and weirder and the more the other ladies spoke, the less I wanted to. and I had an epiphany.

You don't have to like your friend's FRIENDS. Simple as that.

Being kind and respectful is still desired.

I realized after tonight, some groups of people just are not healthy. As much as I love my friends, I just can't be with those other women.

I also realized, Cancer remission sucks.

I am struggling to overcome the lack of support.
It really is a struggle after you have been dealing with this battle, fighting and fighting and you have fought for so long you forgot to stop fighting. Then there is the fact that all through the battle, everyone is in your corner, people constantly telling you how much they love you and care for you and you can pick up the phone at any time and then when you hit cancer remission...

crickets...

I feel lonely.
I feel anxious.
I feel insecure.

I found some articles that explain and I am linking them here in case you, whoever might be reading this, might want to go check them out like I did.

This one was the first one I read and it hit home so hard, I cried again.

"Everything you're feeling right now is normal for cancer survivors. Recovering from cancer treatment isn't just about your body — it's also about healing your mind." https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cancer/in-depth/cancer-survivor/art-20047129 

Here are the other links if you want to check them out. They all say the same thing in different ways it seems to me, but all still worthy of reading.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2003214/Cancer-survivors-Depression-exhaustion-anger-downside-beating-disease.html

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/12/anxiety-lingers-long-after-cancer/

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/29/after-cancer-treatment-waiting-for-the-sadness-to-lift/

https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-12-538

Know this...

you are not alone.

Others feel this way too.

You don't have to have cancer to feel this way. Illness, trials, adversity, life, can all make you feel this way. What you do with it is up to you.

Take care of yourself.

Get help if needed.

Love yourself.

We will all get through this one way or the other.

The silver linings are in the clouds.

You can choose to look at them as storms or fluffy unicorns.

I vote unicorns. :)

Are you Ready to RISE?

I will never know what it is to be of another race

I will never know what is to face that life.

I will never know what it means to struggle in the face of THOSE adversities.

I will never be Black, or Asian, or Hispanic, or Latino, or anything other than white.

I will never be able to put myself in YOUR shoes in those cases.

I will never know what it means to be judged by those standards.

I will never say I understand because I don't.

I have however been molested, raped, beaten, abused, homeless, lost custody of my children when they were young, lost a father when I was young, faced suicide, suffered anorexia, and now had cancer.

I may not always understand or empathize with your struggle, your trial, your strain of adversity, but I have had quite my own.

I can empathize with that.

I have overcome all that life has thrown at me.

You can overcome that too.

You can overcome ANYTHING you face.

Life is a set of hurdles and obstacles.

We are in the race of life to win.

Face your fears.

Face your adversities.

Face life, love

You do not have to be in the constant pursuit of happiness.

It is already there, waiting for you to see it.

Life is beautiful.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

YOU ARE AMAZING

YOU ARE FABULOUS.

It is up to YOU to own that fabulous inside of you.

"I have suffered much in life. In fact, that is the biggest understatement of every century in every existence I have ever known and I am not kidding. I found myself by finding what I didn't want and what I did through dating, business, entrepreneurship, and more. I overcame; I was not just burnt, I was singed. I truly believe I went through the refiner's fire and I was left with nothing but ashes. I rose from the ashes and I came out a Phoenix." ~Trisha Trixie Hunter-Merrill

It's time to RISE UP.

Are you ready to rise?

https://fallingintofabulous.wordpress.com/the-risen

7 Steps to Caregiver Love

My mother recently reminded me, as a caregiver herself, that we on this side of the fence often forget our wonderful caregivers who are there to help us.

I am so ever grateful to my Hunepants for being my caregiver and honestly don't know what I would do without him. So to pay respects to all caregivers, here is a little post just for you. This is for US patients and those around us to remember the caregivers as well as the needy.

I recently was hospitalized and didn't even think about how much he needed a break from me as well. Times like these help those us who have caregivers hopefully realize that they do a lot for us and we need to not be so dern grouchy, irritable and insensitive. We need to be thoughtful of those who cNOTare for us and do so much. So here is a little post for the patients to remember the caregivers. This is NOt a post for caregivers on how. This is for YOU the one who NEEDS that caregiver to remember them and be thinking of them.

1. They probably won't do it YOUR way.

No, they probably won't put the dishes away where you want them to go, and no they probably won't do the laundry the way YOU like it done. Who cares? At least they are TRYING to help out and do their part.  Be happy and THANKFUL they are helping. they could just leave everything for you to do as well as trying to be the patient. Even if they only do ONE thing. Say thank you. Be thankful. show them thanks the way they like to be thanked. If you don't know how they like tobe thanked....find out. It matters.

2. Consider hiring help

Maybe you can't afford to hire help as in a home health aide or maybe insurance won't cover it. My insurance won't cover an Aide, like my sister is, to help people clean and do shopping, but they will allow me to have a Health Nurse. This week we are considering hiring one to help out so he doesn't have to be the doctor, the nurse and everything else too.

We also have started hiring someone to come in and do Prep Meals for us and clean every other week. I can't do most stuff, but getting down and scrubbing toilets and showers are not in my wheelhouse right now and he is the one working and paying the bills so I don't think he should have to either.

Plus, as a joke, now we always have someone to blame as in "Oh, where did M, put that this time?" or "Must be M's fault we can't find anything." I told her and she laughed so I know it doesn't even bother her and this takes the stress off us.

3. Do little things for them once in awhile

This morning, after being in the hospital 4 days and nights, I was so thankful to be home, that I got up early and made Hunepants tea the way he likes it. I also woke up early and told him to get in bed, because most nights he sleeps on the couch as not to disturb me and sometimes him to so he can get some rest. I would have made him breakfast too but I actually haven't been paying enough attention to know what he eats in the morning anymore.

Note to self: pay attention to the little things as well

By the way, he made an English egg muffin with turmeric and cheese. simple. DUH. Maybe tomorrow If I am feeling well I will make him tea AND breakfast.

4. Use your resources

I have a church family who offers me meals. Many churches offer this or other community members. Think about your friends and other family who may be able to give you rides, clean, do things for you so the caregiver doesn't have to. There is no reason on earth and no one said

"The caregiver has to do it all for you." So stop expecting them to. Use what your momma gave you, yourself and use your resources.

5. This may not be "short term"

You or your caregiver may have thought "Oh I'll just help out for a bit." Next thing you know it's 4 or more years down the road and they are still helping and you are still griping.

"Did you know, most caregivers have been helping out their loved ones for 5 years or more?"

That little bit of helping has maybe turned into a lot of helping. If they, like my spouse, are the breadwinner too (meaning they bring in the $$), that is a lot to take on. Be aware of your needs as things progress as not to over stress your caregiver. think about the other things I have mentioned, like hiring help, using your resources, etc as a way of helping out.

6. Caregivers have mood swings too

You don't get to be the only one who gets to fly off the handle one minute, cry the next and then be happy. Sorry folks, we are both humans here. Unless you found a way to have a robot as a caregiver and are rolling in the dough, most likely your caregiver is human and has emotions JUST LIKE YOU.

GO FIGURE.

Remember that. So give them a break like they give you a break too. Let it pass. Breathe. Let them have their mood swings too. Realizing that you both are gonna have these up and down days, moments and time really will make things a lot easier.

Now, that being said, I don't think it is wrong to point it out on either side of the scale. Sometimes, maybe you don't realize that you are being a raging B* and sometimes maybe they don't realize they are being a royal arse. Not rudely, but kindly maybe ask if things are ok and if they realize they are being that way. they can do the same do you. This is a rule in our house we allow. That doesn't mean either of us are going to stop being that way, because in reality, sometimes you just need to let those emotions out. We just go to our own corners (areas of the apartment) and let the emotions surface and then it tends to dissipate on it's own. That may or may not happen for you, but it works for us.

7. Make sure they have their ME TIME too

They need to take care of themselves. They need time to themselves. They need to do their own thing and release all that they are dealing with...YOU. They need to nourish their own souls too. Let them have that time. Make sure they have that time if they aren't already. Be patient when they want or need that time.

My Hunepants likes to play video games. he likes to code. He likes board games. He likes to read news online. these are none of the things I particularly like to do, except the Board Games part. So I give him his space. I let him have his morning to read Reddit (boring to me) or listen to CPR (Colorado Public Radio) in the car (again boring), but I know it makes him happy so I let him do these things.

Whatever your caregiver likes to do for their time, let them do it. don't make fun of it. Don't hassle them about it. It isn't YOUR TIME it's THEIRS, so ZIP IT and just ALLOW IT.

You both will be  happier.

My mother likes to help others, sew, craft, bead, quilt and write. Sadly, she doesn't always get to do these things and I am on her constantly about her having her own time. She can't just be the errand girl or the doctor girl or the nurse. She needs her time too. (Are you listening mommie dear?)


*********************************************************************************

All in all, obey the Golden Rule. Treat others as you want to be treated. 

Until next time,
Always Be Fabulous
Trisha Trixie

Being in a Relationship

Every morning I wake up with my Hunney Pants and do things to help him out the door.

I sometimes make tea (an sometimes he makes it to wake me up)

when he gets in the shower, I get up and Auto Start his Jeep

Then I prepare his lunch for him, sending him off with something for a snack, something for a mini morning meal, something for lunch (sandwich, soup ingredients he just adds water, or something like ramen etc), make his tea mix for him adding Black tea, roobis, matcha, yerba mate, ginger, gotu kola, ginseng, a little stevia leaves to sweeten, and sometimes a touch of cardamon, cinnamon, black pepper chai mix or some dried fruit berries. From time to time I toss in a little love note to wish him well or let him know how much I appreciate him.

Once in awhile I may pick out his clothes for him or help him match things up. From time to time he asks me what sweater goes with what. (He is a sweater, zip up or pullover guy because his office is always cold no matter the temp)...ps. I love sweater or vest guys. :)

Then he generally asks me the weather for the morning and for the day. I look it up on my tablet or smart phone and this decides which coat he wears.

Then I clean up my messes while he gathers his things for the day.

Once he is ready, we always hug, sometimes a peck on the lips or cheek or forehead, and then he is on his merry way. He asks me my plans for the day and we discuss each others day for a moment.

I stand at the door with the kitty cats, watching him leave. I want to make sure he gets out ok, no accidents pulling out of the driveway (our block seems to drive pretty fast) and drives away.

Then I lock the front glass door and carry on my business or tasks.

To some these may seem small or minute to some. However, they are dearly important to the both of us. I help him get ready. He helps me get awake. We take care of each other and we don't leave things one to the other to do alone.

Being in a relationship is more than just a title. To me it is not only a privilege but an honor. I know my ways and views are very "RETRO" but this is how I think, I breathe I live...in a retro state of mind.

We care for each other. We take care of each other. We are interested in what the other is doing. We are engaged in communication. We do things to ensure the other is loved, tended to and cared for.

We know each other's Love Language and we respond to what the other needs. My tops are praise/encouragement and Gifts. His is Physical Touch and Quality Time.

I love my relationship with my Hunney Pants (our nickname for each other) and I know without a shadow of a doubt the he loves me and his relationship with me.

Being in a relationship is not about the wedding, the ring, the kissing, the title or all the external things in life.

Being in a relationship, a good one, is loving each other fully, wholly and 100% on each side.

I feel lucky and honored to be able to call him my fiancee' love him as well as our relationship.

Until Next Time,
Trisha Trixie

The Shelf Apple

In the world I live in, most things in my life make me feel like I am living my dream.

Most things.

I am trying to build a fashion business.
I am sewing non stop and creating hair pieces left and right.
I model from time to time.
This part of life I love.
It is a struggle however financially and that is where I think part of my frustration comes from.
My man is helping me financially and I think it is putting a strain on our relationship.

But that is not the only thing interfering.

I feel depressed when it comes to our relationship. I am not fully happy. I feel like he focuses too much on video games and work and I am reliving a nightmare of a life that I lived with my ex boyfriend and most especially my ex husband. I think he feels like I SHOULD be happy because I have him and he is helping me. But to me there is more to life than money. I thought I was more to him than work and video games, but I am beginning to wonder.

My man did all he could to have me in his life and kept welcoming me back and kept begging me to be in his life. But here I am and have been for two SOLID years now and I feel like the "rut" has settled in and he has taken for granted the amazing and wonderful person I am. I don't mean that to be boastful, but I know who I am and what type of woman I am. He knows it too if he thought back to how hard her fought to have me in his life. It feels like a the same old story, just a different book cover. Everyone thinks I am so great and ooh ahh how they want me in their life. But then once they have me, it is like they caught a great fish and deicded to tack it to a wall like a trophy. Hell I would even be glad if I was a Trophy Girlfriend but you have to be willing to show off your trophy once in awhile and well, since he never wants to do anything or go anywhere or be social, that never happens.

Yet instead he lives in a world of games and work.

Supposedly he "de-stresses" this way. I am sorry but when I am begging for attention and I HAVE told him how I feel over and over again I begin to wonder if I am being taken for granted and he has lacked the ability to see me in front of him anymore. I have cried tears begging him to put me first and to be with me. Why am I not the "de-stresser"? I am getting tired of the tears and tired of his M.O. Tired of having to sound like a broken record so little by little I say nothing. Then I remember when I said "nothing" before and how NOT well that worked out for me in my past life.

I was looking at this piece of art today about how Girls are Like Apples on a Tree.

A quote from Pete Wentz

"Girls are like apples...the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree...”

If the boy climbs the tree sure that is great, but I have realized in my "disney-esque" beliefs as my friends call it, that there is a realization with Disney Princesses too. Life after the "Happy Ending" is what real life is about. At least those ladies got married. Not to liken myself to a cow, but that old addage of "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" seems to be in my mind, but the only part I feel lately like a cow is more like an OX having to take care and tend to everything without even so much as a shiny shoe.

I got to thinking, a lot of good it does though to go through all the effort, to go through a bunch of broken ladders, go up the ladder, climb to get the best apple and leave it on a shelf. Wouldn't that apple begin to sour and wilt away? It wouldn't be a good apple after awhile. How would it become a great apple again if this happened?


I am still trying to figure that out. But I know for now... I feel like the apple got picked and now, since the boy got the apple, he hasn't really seen how shiny and wonderful it really is since he put it on the shelf.

~Trisha Trixie

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Savour?

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Savor? Wishcasting Link HERE

 I wish to Savor:

• My time here on this earth
• To make every moment count
• To live like everyone is watching and I welcome it (because I do)
• My time with others
• Enjoying the moments I have at places, events, and others
• The internet and I can learn from the good or bad that happens on it
• Things we didn't have before and see them for the positive
• The lessons I have had to go through in life
• My friendships with my family, friends and new acquaintances 
• Life and all it has to offer me and all it has to offer others

I leave you with these videos for you to savor to show you that I DO Savor life and hope that you will too

 Rich Life

This Life Was Meant to Shine

When I Leave

Savour Life. Love it. Live it. Savor every cotton pickin minute of it.

Funerals

Funerals are not the easiest for me. Today I am going to a funeral for my cousins wife's father who I also consider my cousin. I did not really know her dad but I know her. I lived with them for awhile and she is very dear to me. I know it would mean a lot to her to have me there. I also know it would make her sad if I was not there. So I am going.

My father passed when I was ten. My best friends dad died when we were sixteen. My grandparents died around the holidays and death has been such a big part of my life you would think I am used to it. But I am not. Quite the opposite. I am sure no one LIKES death. Ok I take that back. I know my nephew is all goth this and that and some of my younger friends are all into goth and death but in reality I don't think they REALLY like death.

My cousin, her husband, was at my father's funeral. He saw how traumatic of experience it was for me. But many did not see the aftermath of how it affected me. Or should I say how I was unwilling to accept this fact.

Then going to live with a mother who believed in life after death did not help. Then I was quite confused. Was he dead or wasn't he?

I do believe in a higher power and I do believe living life to the fullest is essential because who knows. Though I also believe in accountability because also who knows about what that afterlife is. Maybe we come back as another human, a rabbit, a dolphin or a worm. I have no clue. Perhaps we go on to be missionaries to other worlds or other universes and help them learn. Still, I don't know.

I was Mormon for ten years and to add to my confusion about the afterlife, that also did not help yet add to the confusion.

So when I am going to a funeral anymore many thoughts go racing in my mind.

But in the end because of past things that have happened in my life no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, how far I have have come, I am always "Daddy's Little Girl" and the events and thoughts around my fathers death rise up in my head and come back into my mind.

I have grown much stronger since then and thanks to my dear counselor Sara I have learned to conquer these things and move forward with them on days like these. That doesn't mean it isn't hard.

But there are moments like these, like today that we, as adults, must put aside thoughts of ourselves, be there for others and take that empathy and turn it towards them. We love them, nurture them and show them our friendship and compassion.

My insecurities no longer define me. They do not need to define you. Do not let them.

Oh oddly. Reminders of Kat's Johny all of sudden coming wafting into my mind. How often that girl is in my head and I have never met her. But I know out there someone shares something with me.


A pain, a hurt, a love, and growth for a better day and a new tomorrow.


Dang, why did I put on makeup if I am only going to cry it off.....


Until next time my lovelies...

xoxo~TrishaTrixie

Open your heart and Get ready to love...Any Child Anywhere

So today a friend of mine mentions how concerned she is going to need a medical procedure that could limit her ability to have children. I feel for her, I do really...but this whole idea of worrying about not bearing a child of your own is lot on me. I had two kids very early on. I fought tooth and nail for them and lost more times than I care to remember. I had a great opportunity to impact the lives of many other wonderful young women and teens. I watch as these girls are nearly all grown up or are grown and starting a life of their own. If I had won custody of my kids maybe I would not have been able to be there for these others. Maybe I wouldn't have been the friend that the girls needed when they needed a pal at church. Maybe I wouldn't have been the shoulder for the girls to cry on. Maybe I wouldn't have been the navigation system for my nieces when they get lost about town or be able to know the fun and safe places for them to hang out.  Maybe I wouldn't have been there for friends of my boys that needed a mom to just listen to them and hear what they had to say without judgement or ridicule or attitude.

Heavenly father blessed me with empathy. I have been through much. I have endured much. I have lived through much. I have done this since I was young. I know this was so I could be there for others. I knew in my heart that when my children were not with me, it was ok because I had OTHER children who I loved dearly and gave them my love and care and kindness but also who loved me.

Looking back, even before it all I was there for a child who needed me more than anything and she reminded me of it very recently. I may have been a mere teen myself though at 18 I sure didn't think so, but I was there for her. I think that is when I realized I could make a difference in the lives of others. I could make a difference to other children who needed a friend, who needed someone other than their moms or dads once in awhile.

So, maybe you can or can't have a child of your own. There are so many children in this world who need adopted, fostered, cared for, nurtured, mentored, loved and thought of. I am thinking of a friend KV I know who dearly loves her little one and adoption made this possible. No matter where you are open your heart and I know you will find them.

Blessings in a Basket is a great resource to connect others for this cause
Boys and Girls Club of America in your area
Local churches, schools, colleges even have mentoring programs
Just look around, open your heart and get ready to love...

Too Blonde for Marriage

I was looking up a quote and ran across this script from Legally Blonde. First I started laughing and then that thing I hate seeing or talking about or thinking about came up...and I stopped dead in my tracks...

Some more crap about Marriage! Ugh, why does everyone have to be getting married or talk about it. I am tired of seeing Wedding commericals or ring ads! I can't even watch a TV show without there being something about it.

But this one was a bit different. I didn't cry or get upset. I felt nothing. Now I don't know if that is good or bad, but it made me fully aware of my feeling at that moment.

Here is the part I am referring to...

 You're breaking up with me?

              I thought you were proposing.

              Proposing?

              Elle, if I'm going to be a senator...

              I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.

              You're breaking up with me because I'm too blonde?

              No. That's not entirely true.

              Then what? My boobs are too big?

              Elle, your boobs are fine.

              So when you said that you would always love me...

              you were just dicking around?

              Elle, I do love you.

              I just can't marry you

But this part at the end of Legally Blonde is the best. She tried so hard to be what he wants. The he wants her. She realizes she is past it, past him and past her feelings and she moves on and gets on with her life...the closing speach I fee epitomizes me

           After getting off to a quite interesting start... 

                I'm sure we are going to see great things from her.

                Ladies and gentlemen, Elle Woods. (Trisha Trixie Hunter)

              On our very first day at Harvard...

                a very wise professor quoted Aristotle.

                "The law is reason free from passion."

                Well, no offense to Aristotle...

                but in my three years at Harvard...

                I have come to find that passion is a key ingredient...

                to the study and practice of law and of life.

                It is with passion, courage of conviction...

                and strong sense of self...

                that we take our next steps into the world...

                remembering that first impressions...

                are not always correct...

                you must always have faith in people...

                and most importantly...

                you must always have faith in yourself.

                Congratulations, Class of 2004.

                We did it!

I realize in everything we see or hear that it is what we take away from it that matters. So what I took away from this was a few funny and perhaps not so funny things...

1.  I am an Audrey, Jackie, Elle, and Marilyn rolled up in one
2. I have no clue what my hair color would be if you mixed all those together but I am a Blonde through and through and am tired of trying to be serious
3. Men hate defining a relationship. Women always want to define it. Adage I heard recently. "The sure fire way to kill a relationship is to try to define it." YEP.
4. At the end of watching A Girl with a Dragon Tattoo I said "See men rarely make it clear where the relationship stands, present bf included! " The boyfriend came back with"Girls always assume" funny
5. Relationship building is NOT for the weak. You must be strong because often the outcome may not be what you envision. 
6.  I am growing tired of trying to figure out what it was that was wrong with me for why he didn't want to marry me
7. I have made a new female friend that I always hoped would be but never thought in a million years and I learned to never give up HOPE, jsut make sure you put your Hope it the right place
8. Second to that never give up FAITH, but put your FAith in God where it belongs
   
9.  I decided instead that just like Elle Woods I came to realize the ex BF was in fact...a Bonehead! :)
   
10.  I am NOT too blonde for marriage

XOXO,
Trisha Trixie

When Love Sees You

Blessed are you who Weep on their knees
How many days and nights have I weeped on my knees?
Blessed are you, shaking your head, at two tiny fish and some bread
I have been here to nearly have nothing

Tell me your Story, show me your wounds
 and I'll show you what loves sees, when love sees you
I have been very hurt and very wounded in my past
Some know this and some don't but I speak of it openly and often for a reason,
not to harp or whine or belabor the things that have happened to me,
yet to share and open my heart to you and let you know
I understand
I have been there

I have been raped, beaten, abused, loss a father at age 10 years, loss someone else close to me like a father at 16, was attacked, children before I was ready, loss of children because of it and more, trouble with in laws, kicked out of the military before boot camp was even over, divorce at a young age, new religion, uncertainty of religion, divorce again, tried to believe in love, after 4 years received heartache and heartbreak and yet, sadly there is still SO much more you don't know....

and yet...

I still stand. Why?

I am strong because God made me strong
I am tough because he made me tough
I am unique because he made me different
I have had these trials so I can learn, but I know it is so I can share with you
he gave a voice to shy girl who preferred darkness and corners to the light
and now I shine so brightly because of the Lord
I have faith in him and trust in him that though things may not always be the way I want, desire or think they should be,
I know the Lord has a plan for me
and I have faith that everything will work out.

 Blessed are you walking on waves
to find yourself sinking when you look away
Blessed is the widow who gave her last coin to the Lord


 I came for your story
I came for your wounds
To show you what love sees




When Love sees you...


 You are always welcome to share your story
You are always welcome to comment on any of my blogs
I understand
I was given the gift of "Empathy" as well as many more
I am here if you need a friend

I am here
and so is the Lord

XOXO,

Love you always

Trisha Trixie