Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Being Boundary Thick AFTER Soul Restoration/Brave Girls

I have been in the Brave Girls Club for just over a year now.

I have taken Soul Restoration 1 and 2

I was a part of the original Soul Restoration 1 group in fact. It was like something I have never ever head  before. IT was surreal. It was profound. It was something I needed to hear...

Protect your soul house.

Protect your soul house FIERCELY!

It is ok Brave Girl to set, make and keep boundaries and still love others.

Send destructive people to the Moon.

These may sound "foreign" to some, but other BG SR sisters they are reading this and nodding and understanding and empathizing.

But what do you do AFTER Soul Restoration? What do you do AFTER months have gone by? How easy is it to abide by those standards? How well do you continue to Protect your Soul House? Are you still watching your boundaries?

I have taken other online courses this year intermittently to keep in tune with the values and beliefs. But it IS still hard.

I currently have a friend, some I care about, who is Not protecting his soul house. Now granted, he did not take SR 1 and 2. He does not quite understand this. But I have continuously stated to him that he needs to stop allowing people to tromp all over him, telling lies about him and treating him badly. I have shared he needs to set, make a nd keep boundaries for this protection and so on. I have done all I can all year.

I did for awhile remove myself from his life. This was not long after SR1. It is not that these courses make us or tell us per say to remove people, yet to protect ourselves. Others who will nto do so can potentially harm us.

Their lives, their drama, their needs becomes most prevalent. They are as my counselor says "succubus" who will keep coming to you and running to you and wanting and yearing your help and more.

But even more what comes to my mind is KSM. (I know you think so but I am Not infatuated it just seems that way...snicker).

To be clear...a message KSM sent me and told me something I have NEVER EVER FOGOTTEN...

She said, "I need very boundary thick people and so should u. It's important to ur soul house. U have to earn a way in a door of friendship with time and ease. Trust can't be granted with a friend request."

Boundary Thick People...I like this phrase. It resonates with me. It HAS resonated with me for months. And now, it has come back to my mind tenfold.

I found this link about Psychological Boundaries

"Back to my friend who has thin boundary issues. He is loved by both students and faculty ...but he has constant "drama" in his life due to his thin interpersonal boundaries. By letting so many people "in," he has created an inner space where someone close to him is always in crisis and needs his attention. This constant drama has cut into his ability to be productive in his creative career."

"People with thin boundaries are open, overly-trusting, and easily intimate with others. They experience the border between themselves and others as porous and transparent. People with thick boundaries, on the other hand, are rigid, well-defended, and almost seem to be wearing a suit of armor."

I want to help my friend but he is not Boundary Thick.  He is like the example above. He is so thin, there is constant drama and his own career and life is at a loss because of it. I have been there. I understand. But someone setting boundaries with me has helped me to move on in my life and grow and get my life moving forward again.

For me to remain this way I need to have others with thick boundaries around me just as KSM needs those around her. I get it now....I finally get it.

IT is not easy keeping up with the things we learn in SR1 and SR2 sometimes but that is why we have those Truth Cards, and our Life Book and BG Truths and all the tools they gave us. 

Hold fast to your beliefs. But remember to believe the things that are real. And above all...

Protect your Soul House FIERCELY!!

Saturday, October 15, 2011


Every year for the past four years I have been attempting to write for NanoWriMo-National Novemember Writing Month. Last year was the first year I FINALLY completed it. The prior years were 30,000 words in 30 days. Last year they UPPED it to 50,000 words in 30 days. I decided to write about the Memoirs of me and my mother called Days of Corn Tortillas . I had a few followers and people who commented.

Some people read every day I wrote and some people just found out what I wrote last year and are anxious to see what I will write about this year. Other NNWMers are gearing up right now-Getting their plots ready, preparing outlines, deciding what they will write about. Some are editing and setting up their NNWM sites and entering their information so their words can be counted.

That was me about 30 minutes ago. I have been "actively" thinking about what inspires me, what inspires others, what do I want to say this year, what can I write about from the heart. I recently wrote a post on this blog called Broken Barbie. I have mentioned briefly here or there about my life, the things I have gone through and the healing process.

I follow a blog called Finding Your Voice of Truth. She talks about healing. She talks about her life. She talks about her pain and growth and how others can get there. This....this is what inspires me right now.

I have decided to call my NNWM blog Broken Barbie. If you want to get a head start and start following me go ahead and click on the link and follow or add it to your feeds or bookmarks now. The writing doesn't start until November 1st so nothing will be on it until then but you can be ready to receive it now.

Here is a bit about it (this is also in the heading)

The stories and memories you are about to read are real. The events DID happen in my life whether others want to accept they happened or not. I know they did. I know how they affected me. I know for some, they might affect you. I also know, I am not a Broken Girl anymore. Hopefully, through my words, through the stories I have to share, through the healing I have experienced, you may not be broken anymore either.

I know this will NOT go over well with everyone. I know some in my family and those around me will DENY these things. I know some will challenge me. But I truly feel that if my HERO (KSM) from  "Normal is a Setting on the Dryer  I can be real, truthful, and honest to a fault SO CAN I!

I I do also hope to inspire another friend (CRG)  in my life to write about his life or write during this time. 

The one thing I learned from Brave Girls is a BG Truth I read often "Your story is worth sharing

I believe that with all my heart. I believe I can make a difference. I believe in you and I believe in me. I believe in God, a higher power, a supreme being, or whatever you want to call it. Most of all, I believe in sharing my story- no matter what.

I am NOT Broken anymore. 

It is time I shared with the world how I got to that place in my life. 

Find out how starting November 1st.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Declaration of You-Final Declarations (and my thoughts on the subject)

I posted nearly the same thing on the DOU page but I felt it worthy to reiterate then here. With a  few final words from me about this course at the end. (If you just want to read what I have to say about this class please go to the end)

Ok so enough blathering (blath blath)...

Here are my Final Declarations:

I declare...

Enthusiasm: By doing things that make me happy make me tick.

Uniquity: I am unique because I am not afraid to be authentic and not afraid to be me!
Intention: To make my life count. Live for each moment. Be the best I can be. Live life for myself. Allowing myself to be worthy, open my life to receive, , let the universe give me the things I desire, change my way of thinking to receive, I INTEND to Receive. (GIK Word for the year-Receive)

Self-Care: I will take care of myself by by taking care of me and remembering to do things for myself and that is is ok to do things for me

Success: To remember to follow my passion because if I remember to follow my passion, true success will follow. People will desire to help me and give me what I need. Money will flow in as needed.

Money: Money adds value to my life by allowing me the opportunity to reach my Intention Goal of Happiness by giving back to myself once in awhile. Money will flow as long as I allow myself to receive it, don't stress out about spending it and remember what you send out comes back to you, spend it to get it. :)

Celebration: It's important for me to remember the little things as well as the BIG accomplishments. Not just along the way but  to think about the reward WHEN we make the Goal, THEN follow through with our Celebrations as well as our Intentions for them.

Trust: I can trust my Truthteller. I trust that I will Receive the knowledge I need at the right time that will help me achieve the things I desire to Receive. Believe in trusting myself & trust myself to Believe in me.

I really enjoy7ed this course. Taking this course actually helped me realized things about myself I didn't know, things I needed to re-hear, things that I forgot mattered to me, things I didn't know mattered to me, and affirmations to take with me moving forward.

I reconized this has been the year of E-courses for me.

I recognized how much I have learned from all of them, how much I love them, and how much I relish in these learning experiences.

I suggest to this to Everyone. Yes EVERYONE. It is worth $99. It is helpful for all facets of life. It is not just for Entrepreneurs, people who own their business, people who want to own their own business. It is not just for the one who likes to share, it is for those who like to read others who share. It is not just for the outgoing, outwardly or outspoken. It is for the introvert, the shy person, the person who is meek. It is NOT just for women. It is for MEN-WOMEN and I think it would be great for TEENS even!

I have wanted to take this class for some time this year and I am glad I finally did! I also bought Jessica's Goal Intention Kit (which you don't have to do) and signed up for Jessica's Website and Michelle's "When I Grow Up Coach" blog and received "Pounding the Pavement".

Both of these which I read, poured over and did every lesson, note, quote and exercise possible.

Please consider Declaration of You for yourself. I feel it is the BEST investment you could make...because it is investing in YOU. :)

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Broken Barbie

I was reading in my devotional today and she was talking about deformed and broken Barbie dolls.

It hit home in so many ways I wanted to share it with you. One of the feet was chewed off of a Barbie she received as a gift.

This made me think of the Dexter doll-all taken apart and tied in little bows.

It made her think of herself and thus made me think of me.

Especially the Dexter doll. (Seriously)

It made me think of KSM.

It made me think of the blogger who writes on Voice of Truth.

It made me think of others girls and boys, women and men who are broken because of things that have happened to them in their life.

Like my friend CRG and his wife J.

We are those among the many, who think we are the few. There are more out there like us than you realize. Whenever I think of being broken, I think of this song by Matthew West....

Broken Girl by Matthew West


The devotional talks about being spiritually broken, but I think there are so many levels of brokenness that is just ONE of them.

The Barbie in this case is perfect in every way with the exception of the gnawed off foot. It makes me think about how the foot got gnawed. The story talks about a dog who did it, but let me tell you-in my life, in things I have been through...I would have gnawed off my own foot to get away from my broken life, to get away from the things happening to me at that time. I am sure many of you who can empathize with this, might just feel the same way.

She is mostly healed now, not perfect but better.

In her words she "...may walk with a spiritual limp, but thanks to God who holds [her] up at least she can walk."

 I may have a few crutches, I may have had my foot (so to speak) in a cast, I have even been laid up under the covers hiding out, but now...I too can walk.

I might walk with a limp every now and then...but at least I am walking and sometimes....I run. :)