Today's Sanctuary Sunday is taken from the Sanctuary: Devotional bible for Women. Page 1455, Thursday Daily Sanctuary. I don't always read them in the right order anymore, since I have had this bible for years and years. Now I read it, more as a helpmate, opening it here or there for answers, as needed. Funny, in a, "divine intervention sort of way" that THIS is where I opened it to today because recently HunEPants and I had a hard time after just celebrating our first year of marriage, also learning about compromise, learning what ownership and responsibilities in the home were and learning about what each other's expectations of the other were. In some ways, it WAS about control.
Control of expectations, more than anything else and how we CAN'T control expectations anymore than we can control the other spouse. Enjoy this article and at the end read on for my comments to the article.
"Control is something every wife at times wishes she could have in reality-especially when circumstances swerve dizzying out of reach, breaking through our emotional defenses...
When it comes to our husband, of course, we do everything in our power to protect him from hurt and harm. That number of our husband's life events and experiences that we may influence but can't ultimately control, however, is much larger than we may admit. When I'm tempted to forget this fact, I find it helpful to reflect on the following noteworthy list:
Events, Experience, and Personal Traits
That I May Influence-But Can't Control-In My Husband's Life
- his personality and temperament
- his aptitudes, skills, and abilities
- his emotional, social, and spiritual growth...
- his conversion, and devotion to Christ
- his level of career achievement
- his financial and social status
- the use of his gifts and talents
- his size, appearance, and fitness level
- his decisions to engage in healthy or unhealthy habits: diet, exercise, smoking, alcohol use, overworking, overspending, and so on
- his passions, preferences, and personal tastes
- his state of happiness and emotional well being
Instead of seeking control, we can recognize God's handiwork in every moment, at each stage of life, whether it's painful or pleasurable, easy or difficult, frustrating, or satisfying...Though we can't view the entire picture yet, we can rest in the assurance that the Lord faithfully loves our husband and is tenderly working for his good, even in the tiniest details. the sovereign Painter is creating a priceless masterpiece. WE can trust Him to complete his job-perfectly. "
After reading this, I thought, "This is good advice for WIVES, but even more so for those in the DATING world. ESPECIALLY for those who want those men they are dating to BE their husbands. Men don't want to be shaped or formed or molded anymore than women do! I am sure we all don't mind a little nudge here or there in the right direction. I have been with men who helped me want to be a better women and I have had men tell me I make them want to be a better man. That is GOOD! it SHOULD be that way! we SHOULD inspire, encourage and uplift each other to be better people in this world. Just not CONTROL each other or try to control each other.
I like the "Noteworthy List". I have never seen or heard of that before. I am definitely gonna print that off and post that where I can see it and maybe even make a small copy and put on in my wallet to remind me that those are things I can INFLUENCE, not CONTROL.
I think they will be great reminders for me, and you ladies, as well, that you CAN make a difference in your man's life! You ARE something to him. Just look at this list!! You matter to him! Men are not like us. They don't going around giving people kudos all the time. Now if you told him you dind't mind a few whack on the ass, a few thumbs ups and a few literal HIGH FIVES, you would probably get more appreciation! If you are good with that, let him know! If not, then you are going to have to settle for knowing inside and taking the thanks he gives you and knowing that you DO make a difference and you matter to him!
I'm a dork.
I ask hunepants questions all the time for affirmations...
"do I matter to you?"
"do you love me?"
"Of course I do hunzpants!"
"Did you like the food I made you for lunch?
"Yes, I thought it was great!"
"Do you love me?"
"I love you 7"
"Is that good?
"Yes because nobody can love 10, it's just impossible"
"Ok then, good to know"
(Yes, we are silly like that)
My point is, what I can't control , I ask. Other than that, I influence what I can. That is all us wives can do. Other than that, we have to know in our hearts that we are loved and when we don't know, use the mouths you were given and ask. And remember, this is for married and unmarried women too. We all can influence the men in our lives and the men in our lives DO care about us.
they just don't always have a way of showing it.
As more than ONE man has said to me in a lifetime....
YOU KNOW I'M A GUY, RIGHT?
Until Next Time,
|Sanctuary Bible for Women can be bought on Amazon|