Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Gravity


Gravity (3:54)

Sara Bareilles 

I love this song. It touches my heart. This is how I feel. Pulled down by Gravity by HIM. The idea of HIM. The Idea of US. The idea of what we "could have been"...

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

[CHORUS:]
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

[CHORUS]

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long. 

(lyrics)

 I am moving forward now against this feeling of Gravity...I feel like I am pulling a tug of war with my heart. I don't want to move on, but I do. I don't want to love him anymore, but I do. I don't want to give him anymore of my heart, but he still is holding it without touching it. I am letting go of the idea of him and taking someone else's hand who has been patient and kind and been waiting for me...I am scared out of my gourd to take this chance, yet I am taking it. 

 I could play the "What If" game forever...What if it doesn't work out...what if he breaks my heart too...what if he finds someone else...what if I find someone else...what if it turns out amazing? All of it scares me. The good and the bad. But I have to conquer this feeling of being rejected, dejected and thrown away.

I do not desire to be paralyzed by fear anymore. Only "I" can take myself out of holding pattern with my heart. Only me can let go. He let go already. He dropped my hand and took hold of her stretched out hand. I am trying to be happy for him. I am trying to let go.

Now, someone is stretching out their hand to me. AS much as this GRAVITY is pulling me, I need to fight it and take a chance on love. I need to stop dipping my toe in the water and take a plunge on this chance.

Here goes...Trisha off the high dive of love...hope I have a good landing ...

 XOXO

Trisha Trixie

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