Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Being Here. Being Human. Day Seven

 Being Here. Being Human.


“What would it mean if we didn’t run from our own ugliness or each others? How do we take the sting out of ‘ugly?’ What would it mean to acknowledge our ugliness for all it has given us, how it has shaped our brilliance, and taught us about how we never want to make anyone else feel? What would it take for us to be able to risk being ugly, in whatever that means for us? What would happen if we stopped apologizing for our ugly, stopped being ashamed of it? What if we let go of being beautiful, stopped chasing ‘pretty,’ stopped sucking in and shrinking, and spending enormous amounts of money and time on things that don’t make us magnificent?

Where is the Ugly in you? What is it trying to teach you?”

- Mia Mingus, from Moving Toward the Ugly: A Politic Beyond Desirability

My ugly.

My ugly is on the inside.

I hate how my Aspergers gets in the way of others seeing the real me.
I hate how my Cyclothymia rears its mania head once in a while and I hate how it dives me headfirst into depression some days.

I don't always talk about it because who wants to hear that?

Plus you can't see my Degenerative Disc in my neck and back.

You can't see my body pain two cancers have created for me.

You can't see all the damage two rounds of hefty Chemo medication has created.

You see the damage to my organs.

You don't see my Hashimotos, AutoImmune Disorder.

Just because I don't talk about it...

Doesn't mean it is not there.

No comments:

Post a Comment