Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Introduction to the Godess Circle 2012

I was updating my intro in teh Goddess Circle and thought it might be beneficial for me to repost here:

http://www.goddessguidebook.com/goddess-circle/

I was raised in a metaphysical home of candles, tarot cards, crystal balls, belief in angels and fairies and was taught to do REAL magic at 14 years old. I was put in spiritualist training and taught this as well as how to do a tarot reading, Gong Hee Fot Choy readings, candle readings, astral travel, go in and out of a trance properly and how to connect to spirits as well as send bad spirits out of places. This was my life from 10- 18 years old.

On the "normal scale" I was put in etiquette classes, ballet, pointe ballet, vocal instruction, speech and manners class. I was in choir, bells, glee, show choir, dance, dance drill team, cheer and a majorette (for a week). I excelled in High School and could have graduated in 10th grade but my mother wanted me to be "normal" so suggested I stay all years. This was compensated by in my 10th,11th and 12th grade year I went to High School for half of the day and then went to Cosmetology from 1-5pm. In my senior year I had every credit I needed to be a hairdresser and back out of going to take the Cosmetology Bar Exam to go into Banking. I completed my last 6 month in ROP (Regional occupation Training) as a banker and worked in a Bank of America and two credit unions. I excelled so well at this I was asked in my second week to be the Teacher's Liaison Assistant and graduated that class with flying colors. Irony...I haven't worked in a Bank since-the industry perhaps but not a bank.

I never dated in school and was taken advantage of as a young child and in my teens. I grew up losing my father when I was 10 years old,gained  a step dad by the time I was 13 and I have had MANY bad things happen to me. I have been raped, beaten, abused, homeless, lost a Corporation, 5 Cease and Desist letters in the last year, two new businesses and one new Non Profit. I have been divorced, annulled, and divorced again. Single and then in a serious relationship for 4 years that went south.

I have two children from my 1st marriage. I got married, had two kids and was divorced from him by the time I was 23. I don't look it but I am 41 right now. He beat me and then still ended up with the kids, so I was not allowed or given the opportunity to be a mother. I went through custody battles, visitation, etc only to be told they are 16 and 17 now you might as well wait. My children have been brainwashed to believe what their external family (my ex in laws) have told them.

My second spouse and I were together not even a year and broke because he got into drugs, gambling and cheating on me. I stood up for him and walked out of a job that said he was stealing from the company, only to find out...he was.

My third spouse and I were Mormon's for 10 years, he born in the church me a convert. I joined at 23 years old and by 33 I was wondering things the church could NOT answer. So I left the church. This did not help the marriage and by 37 I left that too.

I enjoy life, I smile alot despite my circumstances, though not to say withstanding life can still get me down. I am not a robot. I love music, TV media, movies, you name it. I love to sing and dance and skip and be free and jolly. I love art, some drawing, mostly inking, collage, making cards, creating life through art-not the other way around.

I recently have had issues letting someone go in my life that I thought I  thought was going to marry and we ended up breaking up and getting back together 3 times. This is what I am suffering through right now and has kept me from properly moving on with my life. It is hindering my businesses and other goals I desire for in my life.

You will hear me speak of this, my businesses, my children perhaps, my life, my growing up and the struggles between all of them. Last year I tried a hard effort to gain some footing underneath me and grab a hold of some stability and reality. My topsy turvy world was more than I could handle. I thought by the end of the year I would be in a different place, financial stability, security, growing buisness, understanding in my relationships.

Yet I feel a bit like where I left off with some new knowledge and tooks but perhaps they were nto the RIGHT tools. The Goddess Circle seems more like a centered place than I was last year. Last year it was about taking take of EXTERNAL things in my life. This year I hope to be about grounding and centering and getting in tune with myself.

If you would like to know more about me I am an open book I think.

My blogs are here:
http://www.blogger.com/profile/08186256024588576955