Tuesday, July 17, 2012

What it Means to Be a Friend

In the new Musical 13 they describe what it means to be a friend

A friend’s not a cheap little phony creep
Or a jerk trying to make a deal
A friend is a person who, most of all,
Cares about what you feel;
And nothing is harder
Than learning a friend isn’t real

A friend sends notes back and forth all day

And doesn’t care that you can’t spell
A friend knows you’ve got a crush on your teacher,
But a friend would never tell
A friend’s outside waiting
The minute you both hear the bell

And if your heart is always breaking

Cause the world is just not fair
When you’re at your worst
Your friend’s the first one there
Giving you something to lean on
And that’s what it means to be a friend

A friend won’t smoke when she’s in your room

Or laugh at the poems you write
A friend won’t go start kissing your brother
The minute that you’re out of sight
A friend is the person
You call sixteen times every night

And if your heart is always breaking

And you want to run and hide
When your hope is gone
Your friend is on your side

If someone moves in ‘round the corner

And you want to show him you care
So you give him all your last month of vacation
And all of the time you can spare
But then, on the first day of classes
He acts like you’re not even there,
Then he doesn’t know…
He doesn’t know!
He’ll never know what it means
To be a friend

My version:

My friends call me from time to time. I call them from time to time. We see each other when the other is in town. We share our interests and things that don't. Being a friend doesn't mean picking and choosing what you will be there for. It means answering questions you may not want to answer. It means being truthful when you know it may hurt. It means being there for someone when it's ideal and when it's not.It means being there for your friend as well as in a relationship. One should not supersede the other. It is being there when it's inconvenient as well as convenient. It means being there the ups and downs and the emotional roller coaster that may or may not pertain to you. It means sticking it out no matter what even when things don't always jive or you don't agree. It means being allow to disagree. A friend who talks for hours when you're feeling alone, even if it means going over on his cell phone minutes; the evidence of true friends is what they do to show their loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness, or willingness to make a sacrifice when you need help. Sometimes what a good friend needs from you is brutal honesty, not a cheerleader. IT is GIVE and TAKE.  The following words are also how I feel about friendship....please read...

 A good friend is busy (like most of us) but still manages to make time for me. Good friends know that friendships are one of the perks in life designed to improve your world. They do not look at friendships as a waste of time, or something to pay attention to only when they need a favor. To that end, they make time even when they are busy by proactively keeping in touch through email, Facebook Twitter, and phone calls.

A great friend rallies behind you without prompting when you need a few words of encouragement, and stands by you when you make a life-changing decision. While friends might not always agree with the things you are doing, they support you all the same. This means that when you need a shoulder to cry on or somebody to celebrate with, they are right by your side.

Friends know how to have fun and they help you have it. When they can't be there to enjoy it with you, they share your excitement and joy and share it remote if need be.

When it seems like no one in your life will tell you the truth, your friend will have your back. They  might not always tell you what you want to hear, but they will be honest with you, and that is valuable in today's world. More than that, their honestly will always be meant to help you rather than cut you down.

When they disagree with you, it's done in a respectful way that is meant for you both to come to an understanding, not to change your mind or to "win." Your level of trust is high with a good friend because they respect you too much to ruin your relationship.

I am a High Maintenance Friend.But I am a giver. I am loving and kind. I will give you the shirt off my back. I will drive for hours to help you and take my last dollar and give it to you. I will answer a call in the dead of the night to be there for you. Even if I have an excruciating migraine, I will do my darndest to be there for you. I support my friends and I yearn to be them for them. I give them my all. I am empathic to their needs and help to lift them up not tear them down. It means encouraging them to be their best. IT means accepting them when they are not. It means being there when they are weak and helping to make them strong again.

It means phone calls, emails, texts, visits, cards letters, all things to keep in touch, show concern, care and love for your friend. In today's world, I don't understand why someone can't take the time for me, when I take the time for them.

Friendship isn't easy. Friendship is a dynamic of a relationship and ALL relationship take EFFORT. I know me, I know I require much effort.

The true question I ask all my friends is this

Am I worth your effort?


Other Links about Friendship

http://www.deaflion.com/people/what-it-means-to-be-a-good-friend

http://tortiz.wrytestuff.com/swa494541.htm

http://barney.wikia.com/wiki/That_is_What_it_Means_to_Be_A_Friend

Some excerpts taken from About.com http://friendship.about.com/od/Keeping-Friendships-Strong/tp/How-To-Be-A-Great-Friend.htm