Thursday, August 11, 2005

Getting by

Well, the summer is over and we are getting by. The boys go home in a few days. Back to a home where I am not a prt of. Back to a town that keeps you from reality. Back to a life they have to lead, that they would probably rather not. Another day gone by, 5 weeks come and gone. I can't beleive I won't see them for a WHOLE year! How can I not see my own children for a year? I missed so many first and now I won't be there for dating, driving, and working.

Well, we all lie in the bed we make or play the hand we are dealt. I guess this is part of their trial and training as well. I sure will miss them. I already have cried my tears this week, though I am sure I will cry more. Though my life goes topsy turvy when they are here, it is different, things get crazy, but I miss them still.

It is jsut so hard to live my life sometimes knowing up from down and not having an identity crisis. Most of the year I am a part of a couple, a few times out of the year and 5 weeks int he summer I am a full time mother, the rest of the time Scott works so much that though I am a couple, I am alone a lot so it feels like I am single. I am the piece from Smallville that is unlike anyother that doesn't fit anywhere but one place...God's place.

Sigh...Well, back to the job hunt, getting ready for the boys to leave, preparation for next week, and preparing for interviews to get back to work. Welcome to my life...hold on tight...it's going to be a bumpy ride. :)