Saturday, November 20, 2010

Like Him

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11-21-I also just found myself shaking my toothbrush out which is what he does to his shaver.

11-21-Then I also nearly died when the trash can was full and the cent of it nearly knocked me over and again I thought...scents matter to him and now they matter to me...what the heck happened here. Did a transference happen??

11-26- shook out toothbrush and realized it was like what he does when he shakes out his shaver

I find myself doing or saying so many things that are like him it nearly drives me insane.

I was standing in the shower today as I have more recently and keep noticing that I wash my face in the shower the way he does, wash my face, rub my eyes, then wash behind my ears and then over my face again. I stopped. Hey this is just the way he does it.

The another time someone was asking me a question and I answered "I don't know" and they asked me again what I meant and I repeated I don't know and after about the 5th or 6th time I felt a ping of feeling like him and realized how I finally understood and said "I don't know how better to explain I don't know. " I walked away shaking my head at the person as much as me.

Then there are numerous things that little by little I notice, like as a Artist I was on the plane and was struggling to draw with someone sitting right next to me and it took all my might to muster something out even though I desperately and really wanted to. I finally did and the girl ended up complimenting me adn telling me how amazing and fantastic it looked and though it made me feel great her words went through me because what I ended up also feeling on top of that was more empathy to him to his plight.

Funny how now, now is when I start seeing and noticing all these little things...now