Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Girl Like Me

It just goes to show me, I am not made like anyone else. Yes, I am built differently.

There is a song from Edwyn Collins Girl like you

I've never known a girl like you before
Now just like in a song from days of yore
Here you come a knockin', knockin' at my door
And I've never met a girl like you before

You give me just a taste so I want more and more
Now my hands are bleeding and my knees are raw
Now you've got me crawlin', crawlin' on the floor
And I've never met a girl like you before

Know that I'm talkin' about the way I feel
And I've never known a girl like you before

Yes you've come along
And I've never met a girl like you before

I get told that more than I know...

I was told once "Because of the things you have been through and the life you have lived, that is what makes you so special and unique and the wonderful and magnificent individual that you are." To say that I was wow'd by that statement was an understatement.

The kinks also have a song like that:

Never Met a Girl Like You Before

Yeah, I never met a girl like you before.
Girls like you are very hard to find.
When I kiss you,
I kiss your lovely lips.
When I hold you,
You got one hand I want to hold.
Girls like you are very hard to find.
To find, to find, you're mine...

So what is it, I start to wonder that makes me so darn different?

I have talked to many guys about this and even some of my girlfriends. I know one of the things is the locations of where I was raised. I was born in Iowa but I only lived there part of my life. I lived in Iowa and then back and forth at a young age, but then mainly grew up in California. I never lost that hometown girl western savor about me. You know, that honest, down to earth goodness about me. The girls in California or (not always, but most times), plastic as I call them. Most girls at 16 years of age were out getting boob jobs and botox and nose lifts and well with me everything I got is all real! Even more so I take care of myself. Now that is a Cali life mentality though. Girl in the Midwest I think let themselves go too much. They don't seem to care about their bodies as much as Cali girls do.

The other thing is how I was brought up. My mother was into Metaphysics and Spiritualism, but when i was younger I was raised Baptist. My mother always raised me though to believe however I wanted to believe but that she encouraged me to believe in a higher power. She also often reminded me that there such a thing called Kharma and it will bite you in the ass when you least expect it so remember to do good. She told me don't steal unless you want someone to someday steal from you. Do not lie unless you want someone to lie to you. Do not cheat unless you want someone to cheat on you. Do not be hateful or someone will be hateful to you. do not be mean or rude or evil because these all will come back to you. And then she told me , in my young age of 10 years, something that I feel led me through for the rest of my life and started me on a softer path toward others...she said Kharma is a tricky doe not happen overnight nor in an instant. Kharma happens when you least expect it. You may do one thing to one person today and Kharma waits and repays you in kind or in fold when it FEELS LIKE IT.

If emotionally your mouth could drop, mine did. I internally told my mouth to pick itself up of the floor and think about that for awhile. Then she walked into her bedroom and came back out and handed me a book. She gave me "How to Win Friends and influence People by Edgar Cayce. now what normal people in their right mind would not only give a ten year old a book like that much less what ten year old would read it? Well, my mother and myself I guess. I read it and I learned. This is already who I was. this already who I was becoming. I was the type of ten year old who WOULD read such a book. Not to say that I didn't like Nancy Drew and other such books, but these already were the types of books I liked and enjoyed and poured over. I read the book cover to cover without putting it down the first time through. Then I got a pen and paper and took notes.

So you see, when people ask me how I am the way I am, I actually want to ask back, "where do I start?"

This started to form me and shape me but there is more. This conceptual idea of who am I and how I am the way I am has sparked something else in me. In my churches recent lessons it has been about our dreams and how sometimes God has dreams for us we could not fathom. This has given me thought to possibly being a Motivational Speaker. Along those lines, being a book writer and sharing my story.

I write earlier this year in my NanoWriMo challenge about my mother and myself. I think that was a good stepping stone, but there is so much more under the surface of me and how I am and what makes me, me. Along that I feel like I could make a difference in helping another because I have been through so much and I think perhaps, maybe, who knows, maybe what I have been through could help, could inspire another person.

I get told along with the "I have never met anyone like you, or I have never met a girl like you before" statements I also end up hearing things like "You inspire me and How do you do it? How do you get through? How do you turn your switch from sad to happy so easily?" and the best one I hear is "It amazes me after all you have been through that you have the great outlook on life that you do!"

I know this to be true. I am not saying I am perfect. I do get down. I do get sad. I do let it affect me at times. But I let it affect me and move on. and who knows maybe I can use this and my life for good.

So i am going to build a site and build a place where I can talk about what I went through and help those around me and inspire others. And Maybe 2011 is not even close to what I had in store for my life, and maybe it is EXACLTY what the pastor said recently...maybe it's what God wants and who knows..maybe just maybe...and I bet it is...even better. :)

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