Sunday, February 13, 2011

No Comparing Art Journaling

I usually am not one to compare. I lived in California in Newport Beach for quite some time and lived and saw my world and others get sucked into the cycle of worrying about what others had or were doing and how it can ruin people.

As an artist it is SO, SO hard to not look at what I am doing or trying to do and then look at someone else's art and not get frustrated. I draw, I create I sketch, I ink, I paint, I do Graphic Design, I do so many things and have SO many talents, I usually am quite thankful for those gifts and don't fall into the "Compare" trap anymore.

Melody has said in the beginning for us not to compare ourselves to others in the class. To just create and just do the journals, etc. I hear myself saying "Yes,yes I know" and reaffirming myself to not compare and I do well, not comparing for the most part. I may see something here or there and think "Oh, wow, that's amazing, how did she do that?" I have been around people for years who are artists and more recently some amazing artists in the last 4 years who have taught me so much about gleaning from others not comparing.

But, I am human. It happened. I have been struggling So very much with my Art Journals and it is now week 5 and I was so frustrated that my journals are NOT art journals. I used to do Genealogy and have my Certification in Family History and did that for 10 years and also have grown up journaling as a form of history,m writing, getting the thoughts down, stories, etc. Then, in this class, Art Journaling has become a challenge and a new concept for me. I have heard of it before, but I have never been asked to do it. Now I was asked. I would see these amazing pages and unique ideas on Journal pages and I was still thinking, "Wow!" every time, but this time was different.

I have been reaching out and my friend Jane sent me some links and other Brave Girls sent links and I was researching and reading blogs and Googling like a mad woman about Art journaling. I went to Michaels and Hobby Lobby and Joann's and would beg the clerks to help me learn about this and ask for kits or books or anything that would help. After a week of being pointed to a scrapbook aisle continually, I was at my wit's end. One nice lady at joan's sent me to Archiver's where I found Glimmer Mist and Glimmer Screens. A new love and passion I now have added. I also thus on that day learned all about who Melody Ross really was and that made my classes more meaningful (I saw this though I thought I could not delve any deeper in my soul, guess what I could).

But all of that still wasn't enough. I signed up to received Balzer Design blogs and as I checked my email one day there sits a few images that struck me.

Today you Smiled was her photo  and there sits  an simple but very pretty journal. Then the next few down there was one with a Fashion like twist that said ENJOY and I thought, "Hmm that is very kewl, a bit of a challenge, but I might be able to pull that off."

But then, I hit this one...the one that starts the ears a flowing and I think the thought of COMPARE that I know I shouldnt' do...YELLOW HANDS and then I start crying. They are hands. that is it. Hands on the journals colored and then writing around it and I think ""That looks so cool and so simple, why didn't I think of that." So even worse I Mean Self Talked AND Compared!! I got so frustrated then those are the ones that REALLY get to me. the ones that I can glean and learn from, I have no issue with. But when it is right there, in front of my face and it is something that is simple, whether it be work, or at a function, or my business, or art...when it to me is like "DUH" moment, I get upset. "Why didn't I think of that?" If you could even remotely understand this, it breaks my heart. I feel less than, I feel silly, I feel stupid in fact and I know those are all lies because I know I am the opposite of all that. But, yet still, my tender, fragile, heart got hurt because of something I felt I lacked.

I was lucky enough that another artist I was discussing this with encouraged and reminded me that even great artists that I admire like Adam Hughes, Chad Spilker, Chris Rich Mc Kelvey and others will still look at other people's art and do the same thing. That we can't compare and we need to remember to learn from others and also that other's might be looking at us that way. Thank you for that. :)

So, I did learn from seeing Jane, a fellow Brave Girl say she was tearing out magazines for her journals and I did the same and did some massive art journaling today. Plus a truth card which is on my Truth card site as well. It takes time to get past all the hurdles I guess and even hurdles we don't think we have we might encounter so we need to be strong, remember our truths, not the lies, and no mean talk or comparing.

SR TRUTH~ We are all unique in our like!

I hope you enjoy my journals and Truth Card I made today!