I have been going through this blog but some old posts and I was intrigued to find an old posts right before I left my spouse and kicked someone outta my Soul House for good who was doing me no good the last time. I thought I would share it with you...
"Friday, March 09, 2007
Selfless or Selfish
Why do people think are they being selfish when they are trying to be happy and do things for themselves. It appears to me that usually the people who say this are mostly "selfless" and do so much for other people that they lose out most of the time. I was one of those persons for years and finally became aware of these things in life I was missing and took a stand.
People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If you are complaining because someone does not treat you well, then it is your own fault. If you are not getting what you need, speak up or shut up.
Also, why is it everyone else deserves the best of you but you? If you don't take care of yourself then how are you really expected to take care of others? If you don't make yourself happy, how can you make others happy? am I wrong to think that I have a right to be happy? Don't I deserve to be treated fairly, deserve to be happy, deserve to have things on my life? I think so.
But hey...do that and people tell you that you are being selfish. Do I think that self preservation can go over the top? Sure it can. I whole-hardheartedly agree. Some people take it to the extreme. I am merely talking about the simplicity of tending to one's own self once in awhile and allowing yourself happiness.
My opinion: Those who think they are being SELFISH are usually the ones who need to be a little bit more. The ones who think they are being SELFLESS are the one's who need to be more that way as well. The people who are a little of both are well balanced. "
Interesting that I wrote this and there are other posts that speak like this and not long after I truly took a stand. This was another time in my life when I "cleaned house" so to say and sent people to the Moon as Melody says. At this time in my life though I took an even stronger stand then. I lost friends and family sadly but I decided at that time I had enough of being picked on, I had enough being walked on, I had enough being put down, pushed down, and abused. I had enough being taken advantage of, I had enough of how guys treated me, I had enough of people taking advantage of my good nature in business and as a friend and was not afraid to tell people so.
I was not mean, I was not rude, I was not harsh. I simply said to others, "I am sorry, but I will not allow you to treat me in this manner anymore. I love myself enough to stop allowing you to treat me this way. I have a choice just as you do. I request you choose to stop treating me this way. I chose to not allow it to happen anymore."
There were some who were annoyed and just walked away. They would have nothing of me standing up to them and sadly I lost them in my life, but my life was and has been better for it. I miss them, but farewell. There were some that were dumbfounded. They had no clue what I was talking about. they threw their hands in the air and gave me puzzled and confused looks and emails asking for explanations. To some I could explain and I got somewhere. We were able to mend things and move on. To others they really just could get it and I had to give up and move on. The last set was the hardest. They were the group that clung on. They hung on for dear life. They were not giving up, they were not going to let go, they were not going to give me peace or rest no matter where I went or what I did. Some were family and some were friends. The family was the hardest. How do you shut out your family? You just do because you have to love yourself enough to do so.
I stopped answering the emails. I stopped answering their phone calls. I refused to answer text messages. I did not go to family events where they were at. I did not go to events where my friends would be. I went to bigger and better things and little by little they were out of my life and I am happier. I hear about them from time to time from another friend discussing them or if it's family from another family member.But I am not connected to them anymore so my heart is healed now. It doesn't really bother me.
It didn't happen overnight to send them to the Moon. It took time. But overtime my heart healed and I remember being better for it. I don't really feel like I have any Moon people left in my life anymore just people who need to be on the block, at Starbucks, those I meet at the fence, those I sit outside for tea and some I invite in to sit in the front sitting room perhaps and chat.
But who will be allowed in the hearth of my home again yet remains to be seen. That is most sacred for me. I have been hurt and I have given up so much.I have given so much of me. I have learned how I need to keep that sacred and maybe I will decide to keep that private for awhile and just sit by the fire with just me and my cat in that hearth. Those intimate knowings and goings on inside there are dear to me. I cherish them.
I will continue to do so, because I am worth it.