Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Letter to Me: From Myself to Myself

Brad Paisley sings this song called Letter to me. It is all about how if he could write a letter to himself the things he would say and tells himself. Last Year Michelle Ward from When I Grow Up Coach has us to the same thing (Read my Letter here)

Though, I did not accomplish all those things in that Letter to Me, it was good for me to read it again and see how far I really HAVE come. I hit the nail on the head with many of that and most of it when I wrote the letter had not even happened yet. Many did not and that is sad, like I am not in a happy bliss or wading in $$, but like I said, it was a great check list to say "Hey, I DID do a lot of those things!" My last words of the letter are helpful to me now :"But also remember to see all the good you have done in the past year and the good that has come to you. Namaste~"

Now today, I was going through my old videos on You Tube and I found this one from last year. I found Mindy Gledhill through another member from the sites I was on and the E courses I was doing. This song is from her collection. I saw this video where this little girl was spinning around to the song and I just felt so much I had to do that.  This is me dancing around a small room I was a guest in and their stairway behind me. I didn't let this little space keep me from bouncing around and letting this song be felt by me. I allowed myself to live and feel. This video truly shows the me on the outside AND the inside. I am a beautiful soul.

This video reminds me of me. It was like a letter from myself to myself. A video made for me to see. Not then...but now. I just didn't know it. This song and this video made me cry when I just watched it. Mindy sings "It's not about the scars, it's all about your heart."

Further in the song it says:

You're a butterfly held captive
Small and safe in your cocoon
Go on you can take your time
Time is said to heal all wounds



I want to SOAR again. The butterfly has always been my totem. Right now I am small and safe holding myself in my own cocoon. But it's ok because time DOES heal all wounds.


Later it says :There is no me if I cannot have you

Though, I strongly feel that and I truly feel SCARRED right now, this song assures me, it is not about my scars...it's all about my heart. I have a sweet, tender and gentle heart. I love unceasingly. I see the good in others. To be scarred right now is hard. HE doesn't want to feel responsible, but we BOTH are responsible. We BOTH are healing right now. We BOTH are scarred.

There are some things in life that heal over and there is no visible evidence of that wound. But I know , this, will not be one of those. This scar is going to be there forever.  I will just have to keep reminding myself...

"It's not about the scars, it's all about your heart."

E

Lyrics to the song (bolded and italicized are the words that really speak to me right now)

If you were an ice cream flavor,
You would be my favorite one


Believe me when I say,
It's not about your scars...
It's all about your heart


You're a butterfly held captive
Small and safe in your cocoon
Go on you can take your time
Time is said to heal all wounds