Monday, January 16, 2012


I but lived on a moment...

Isn't there a poem like that? Perhaps. I am so worn, I don't even feel like leaving this page to Google it long enough to find out.

Not so long ago I was in church in Omaha and the pastor show up this long rope and at the end was a small taped up piece. He said "See this part right here" and he pointed to a spot on the red tape area "This is right now. the red tape is your life, and the rest is eternity with God."

I try so hard in life to remember that lesson. I have hear it many times before, but that one sunk in.

We talked today. Verbally. Really talked and I felt, "Finally"a chance at healing. To some extenet yes, but his words that he doesn't love me anymore I can't bear to hear and that little part inside in me does not want to beleive it is true.

I think he won't see me because he fears what his emotions will do when he does. I fear he did not tell me he was dating, because he knew I might talk him out of it. I fear this is why he was not talking to me.

I honeslt don't know what to believe.

Outta site outta mind I guess.  He says he still wants to be friends and he doesn't want to se me hurting.

Well, my sister says "That is not his choice. He is going to have to deal with it. All of it. If I am hurting or if I am not. If I have a rockin body now or not. If I am ok or not ok."

It is but a moment

I will not just survive

I will conquer